Random Rhyme & Reason

Random Rhyme & Reason - Now in Bite Sizes

2010-02-26T14:44:00.000-08:00

Hey there, Random Reader. Just wanted to let you know that I have "discovered" Tumblr and am now planting a flag there with a ~~replacement~~ companion blog to Random Rhyme & Reason. Tumblr is more media-oriented than Blogger (imagine Twitter's social interaction and functionality plus the ability to see what's in the links without having to click on them). So RRR on Tumblr features photos, video and audio clips, shorter versions of my random thoughts, and more!

Since Tumblr indulges my ADHD side and is easier to navigate, I'm leaning towards doing most of my posting there instead of here. We'll see. RRR on Tumblr is set up to feature new posts from this blog, so it's a one-stop Random spot.While I'm deciding, think of this blog as the Random homebase and my Tumblr as a motor home.

We've had fun here, so join me on my cross-country trip!

It's only been a few days since I joined Tumblr but I've already started micro-blogging my little heart out - along with sharing posts from other people's blogs (please forgive this late announcement).

In case you missed it:

My brother was offered a full scholarship to Harvard University. My mixed feelings.

First Listen of Erykah Badu's latest - "Out of My Mind Just In Time" from her upcoming album.

Hi Hater - My response to Reverend Al Sharpton's response to Tavis Smiley's hateriffic tendencies.

Mood-lifters: Read/Write Passive-Aggressive Notes - When I need a mood-lift, I visit a site with submissions of snarky, passive-aggressive notes. It's my version of reality TV.

Back in the Day Love - a memory lane story that led to an epiphany.

Politics of Love - a new romantic comedy about love found during the Obama campaign. You know I have a personal tale to tell.

Read Random Rhyme & Reason on Tumblr from the top here.

My Coffeetable Isn't Black Enough Without the Black Bible & Other Epiphanies

2010-02-22T14:49:00.000-08:00

Black History Month is almost over and I'm still getting my learn on, like a good American citizen. Yesterday, I watched a panel discuss the 35th anniversary of the publishing of "The Black Book" and had a few epiphanies, especially about why people who constantly complain about racism stomp on my last nerve.

Want to read them? Well, here they go.

Related Black History Month Posts:

New Rule: The 21st Century Man

2010-02-20T02:32:00.000-08:00

It's 2010 yet many men are still clinging to outdated definitions of man. Every time I hear a man define manhood as some kind of hyper-"masculine" Clint Eastwood, James Evans, Shaft or Lil Wayne bullshiggity, I shake my head.

While we watched Bill Maher complain about President Obama not waving around his ~~balls~~ accomplishments like Shrubby promoted his "accomplishments", my mom called to tell us to check out Bob Costas' unintentionally hilarious Evan Lysacek interview. For those who don't know, Evan just won the gold medal for the U.S. in figure-skating - the first in over 22 years. In the interview that occurred less than 24 hours after Evan's historic win, Bob Costas decided it's time to macho this sport up by instigating a rivalry between Lysacek and Plushenko, the silver medalist. Plushenko is a male figure-skating hotshot who has gold medals and many titles. As we see from the clips that Bob Costas played for Lycasek, Plushenko didn't take his "loss" well. His sour grapes speech consisted of diminishing Lycasek's skating ability, blaming his lower scores on a new scoring system...the list of excuses goes on and on. Meanwhile, Lysacek responded in a gracious, calm manner, reminded us why he deserved his gold medal, and gave Plushenko credit for being a great skater who influenced him - and didn't change his answer the next three times Bob Costas rephrased the "so what do you think about that?" question. The only thing missing was Bob punching Lycasek and pointing at Plushenko.

I was impressed by this 24 year-old's ability to navigate Bob's transparent ambush interview with the maturity that some men twice his age don't show or have. However, a male friend commented that Lysacek missed the opportunity to call Plushenko out for challenging his win. Now what purpose would that have served? Oh that's right...Lysacek could avoid being called gay. Because, you know, a man who makes his living skating around in a formfitting costume to classical music cares about being perceived as gay. Smh. The irony of my friend's comment is that Lycasek is one of the more "butch" (and heterosexual) male figure-skaters.

UPDATE 2/21/10: Bob Costas must have received a bunch of negative feedback after this initial interview because he did another interview with Evan just a few hours later - with 3 other interviewers there to ask some on-topic questions related to Evan's gold medal win.

On Twitter, I learned that "man laws" forbid men from giving another man lotion, listening to Sade or Maxwell on a car radio with another man present, inquiring about another man's day, wishing too many people happy Valentine's Day, hugging another man, cheering for another man, etc.

If a man breaks any of these "man laws", then he is automatically labeled "gay". In other words, he's not a "real" man.

Really? Still? In 2010.

These "man laws" are obviously some men's attempts at humor, but as the saying goes, "There's always a bit of truth in humor." The question is: whose truth?

My 16 year-old brother recently informed me that he refuses to play soccer because "real men" play sports that require hand-work. Translation: Girls don't think soccer players are sexy around these parts, so I'm sticking with basketball, football and basketball.

It's time to redefine a "real man" to fit the 21st century.

10 Real Man Laws

#1 - Real men don't jump at every challenge to their egos, especially when they have nothing to gain from "winning" that battle.

#2 - Real men freely express their affection and support for their loved ones.

#3 - Real men are secure enough not to pretzel themselves into the macho man stereotype if that's not their real selves.

#4 - Real men don't run from their financial, social or moral responsibilities and obligations.

#5 - Real men don't disrespect or degrade others (especially women) to feel more "manly" or gain attention. And they correct others who do this.

#6 - Real men help others.

#7 - Real men recognize their flaws and strive to improve themselves.

#8 - Real men don't abuse themselves by indulging in counterproductive habits.

#9 - Real men are curious about the world around them.

#10 - Real men can admit when they're wrong.

While reading, real men thought of more "real man laws" to add to this list.

Will the real men please stand up? The fake men who are still living by 20th century rules can't see you.

A couple years ago, I told my mother that we've entered an era when men who are humble & hard-working will be rewarded, while the flashy, egotistical big-mouths would fail. Sure enough, I see my prediction coming true all around me.

For the confused ones, here are some examples of real v. fake men. (Notice the professional wins coincide with superior conduct in their personal lives as well.)

Real Man:

Fake Man:

"When a man blames others for his failures, it's a good idea to credit others with his successes."
-Howard W. Newton

Real Man:

Fake Man:

Real Man:

Since it seems to be impossible to interview LeBron without mentioning Kobe Bryant, here's Point/Power/Little Forward Bron showing how he surpassed Guard Kobe's scoring (and many other stats) by not underestimating his competition or overestimating himself.

Fake Man:

Meanwhile, Kobe manages to be humble for 20 seconds while he eats up all of the ass-kissing that masquerades as interviews. He explains why he considered himself the leader of the Lakers even though it was a team full of NBA veterans.

A real man makes posing with flowers look damn sexy.

BONUS: Here's an actual ad from 1955 that advises women on how to be good wives (lamest parts highlighted for your viewing pleasure). It feels so good to be in 2010 when we can define our gender roles to fit us rather than the other way around.

On Hiatus...Or Twiatus

2010-02-18T18:50:00.000-08:00

I'm taking a break from "social networking".

More specifically, I'm taking a break from networking with random people on Twitter. For free. For the purposes of entertainment or curiosity. (In other words, I'm still doing it when there's a check involved.)

Normally, I keep my online social networking un-networked and very compartmentalized. Facebook is for friends and family to stay connected. Twitter is for strangers - preferably friendly strangers...

But that's not always the case, now is it?

Last May, I created a Twitter account to maximize the time I devote to catching up on the goings-on of the world. I discovered that I could search for anything and I'll get an entire stream of news on anything. A news junkie's paradise, right?

Or so I thought.

A friend encouraged me for months to join Twitter, but I wasn't convinced. That is...until we watched the White House Correspondent's Dinner on C-Span and I saw tweets scrolling across the bottom of the screen. The narcissist in my head whispered that she had some thoughts to share, too. Wouldn't you like to see your thoughts on there, too?! Yes, yes I would. So I created an account, typed in some random thoughts to see them stream across C-Span. I couldn't see them, so I began typing in more for testing purposes.

We figured out that if we click on #nerdprom, we could see the White House Correspondent Dinner tweets and I might see mine.

I read and laughed and typed.

Then I saw this number to my right.

Me: What are followers?

Friend: I don't know.

Me: The number keeps going up.

Within 30 minutes, I was at 65 before I finally figured out that these were people who "subscribed" to reading what I typed.

After the #WHCD was over, I didn't have much else to write. My Twitter purpose was fulfilled.

But then I saw #unfollowdiddy.

Anyone who knows me well knows how I feel about Diddy. I had years of bitterness stored up about some of my favorite artists getting a raw deal from this ~~career-killer~~ ~~soul-snatcher~~ "businessman".

So I had a lot of #unfollowdiddy material in me...

Then I learned how to reply to people who wrote to me.

And just like that, Twitter became an episode of the Twilight Zone where a wish fulfilled turns into a nightmare. The more I read, the more I thought. The more I thought, the more I commented. The more I commented, the more people paid attention and replied. I couldn't hide away as just a reader while on "stage".

Twitter began to feel like my public online diary - a place to deposit my thoughts in bitesize form to remind me of certain events in my life.

I didn't expect complete strangers to care about what I thought ~~and take it as an invitation to battle~~. But they did.

Early on, everyone was friendly. They showed me the Twitter ropes and told me to put up a picture so I wouldn't be mistaken as a "bot".

I didn't plan to be on Twitter for long, so I asked my friend what picture to use. Her suggestion? "Use mine!"

She's a sociology grad student who was studying the effects of social media on American pop culture and business. I love sociology, so I was game.

As weeks went by, I actually found myself enjoying the people that I conversed with on Twitter. After my friend's research was done, I decided to become a permanent presence and changed my picture to reflect me. Some ~~shallow people~~ felt betrayed. Most didn't. I never said the picture was of me so *shrug*. I'm a strong proponent of letting people believe what they want to believe when it's not an important subject matter to me.

Anyyyyway...That was 8 months and 30k+ thousand tweets ago.

Since May '09, I've had some wonderful and enlightening conversations, "met" some great people, beefed with some and caught a few headaches.

But now...it's time for a break (and here's why). At least for awhile.

As with any break up, I like to leave on a good note ~~to prevent Bag Lady Syndrome~~ by reviewing the positives.

Thanks to Twitter, I got over my fear of sharing some of my inner truths with others, of speaking (well, writing) my mind before shit hits the fan. Fellow tweeters congratulated, reinforced and challenged my views. All of this allowed me to see other perspectives - something I get in abundance in "real life" by necessity (work) or from family and friends who enjoy playing the devil's advocate. However, in all of these offline circumstances, there's a line that none of us cross...because we want to maintain our relationships.

But with strangers, there's no line. Or maybe the line is invisible.

Through Twitter, I was able to see how far I would go with people who I violently disagree with and see how far they would go with me. As my mom likes to say, I'm a "show me" person. I'm not satisfied with just "knowing" something. I want to KNOW it. The only way to KNOW something is to test my hypotheses. And then I form theories based on the results of my experiments. The experiment can last for 10 seconds or a few weeks. But at the end of the day, I learned something that I will remember and apply going forward.

Twitter also encouraged me to restart blogging. I've been a writer for as long as I can remember. I began writing in my first journal at 8 years old. To others, I was a happy child who had many friends, performed well in school, was in many extracurricular activities. But my journal was my real best friend. The one who kept all of my secrets and never judged me - even when I judged myself. And I could count on it repeating back to me what I was feeling verbatim - an archive of my feelings, thoughts, life moments! My journal is my friend that just listens to me, without needing me to first listen for hours at a time, without expecting me to come up with the right encouraging words to make it feel better. All it wanted in return for its friendship is to be used and cherished. Done and done!

It was my first - and only - truly reciprocal and balanced relationship.

Just the thought of anyone reading my thoughts was enough to send shivers down my back. Oh, you should have seen the security system I rigged up to make sure that never happened!

So I thank Twitter for providing me with a place online to share my thoughts - though not exactly a safe place, it is one full of immediate feedback ~~from random psychos~~.

But I'll be going back to my old way of getting soundbite news.

In the meanwhile, I'll continue to share my random thoughts about life here and on my other blog.

Random Readers, if you're interested in reading and sharing your thoughts, too, then that's great.

If you want to keep in touch with me, let me know in the comments section and I'll give you my contact info.

But even if you don't want to read my thoughts or contact me, I'll still be here - writing until the world makes sense to me.

BONUS:

Want to publish your first 3200 tweets or keep them as a souvenir? Click here.

Throwback Thursday: "The Purple One's" Rehearsal Footage from 1984

2010-02-18T09:33:00.000-08:00

It's grainy but it's him. I ran this footage through my state-of-the-art Prince-detector system: random howls (check!), groin-pulling splits (check!) and mandatory 4-inch pumps (check!).

Knowing His Purple Badness, these videos won't be available for long. While you're here, make your trip worthwhile by checking out some of Prince's best cuts in the sidebar and his 5 most underrated post-80's ballads.

as seen here

BONUS

A Random Movie Review: "City of Men"

2010-02-16T16:06:00.000-08:00

*mild spoilers*

After four years, I finally finished watching the entire "City of..." series.

In 2006, an ex introduced me to the brilliant "Cidade de Deus" (or "City of God") in order to prove his side of a debate about ghetto conditions in Brazil v. U.S. At first, I had a hard time paying attention because it's a subtitled film and I didn't know anything about the plot. But after while, I didn't even need to read to understand what's going on.

The story is about two boys growing up in a violent neighborhood (Cidade de Deus) in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. We follow the boys along their two different paths: one becomes a photographer, the other a drug dealer. The 2002 film is based on the 1997 novel written by Paulo Lins, a man who grew up in Cidade de Deus.

In other words, this is a true story (which I didn't know until the shocking "where are they now?" updates at the end). I won't spoil the movie for you but...knowing that these events really happened blew my mind.

The movie is great, an international hit, Academy Award-nominated, critically acclaimed, on everyone's top 10 best movies of all time lists, etc. But the most intriguing aspect of "City of God" is the sequel and prequel that was released afterwards.

In "City of God", there was a period in the two boys' lives that was fast-forwarded for the sake of time and storytelling constraints. The skipped parts are somewhat fleshed out in "Cidade dos Homens" (or "City of Men"), a TV series that tells the story of two other boys growing up in Cidade de Deus. What is somewhat confusing is that the TV series stars many of the same actors who were in "City of God" but playing different characters with similar personalities/stories. The TV series ran for 4 seasons (19 episodes) in 5 years on Brazilian TV. While just as gritty as the film, the TV series manages to also have heartwarming and very funny moments.

In 2008, I rented the series and ended up watching these boys (and their characters) literally grow into men within several hours - from the ages of 12 to 18.

One of the two boys in "City of Men" is the same actor that played the young version of the sociopathic neighborhood drug lord in "City of God". Imagine Tupac's Bishop in "Juice". Now multiply that by 100. It was more than a bit disconcerting to get to know him as a boy and end up sympathizing with him/his story.

Now it's 2010 and I just finished watching the 2007 film version of "City of Men", which begins immediately after "City of Men" (TV) ends. It tells the story of how and why the boys' lifetime friendship is in jeopardy. We also see how men deal with the issues of early fatherhood (and I get some answers to my questions about the causes of deadbeat dad-ism).

Are you confused yet?

Ok.

Now is a good time to add that none of the "actors" in the films and TV series are really actors. They were selected because they grew up in Cidade de Deus. Some are even related to the "characters" they portray in the series and films.

The last episode of "City of Men" (TV) showed the "actors" breaking character and "portraying" themselves to give a tongue-in-cheek depiction of what their lives would be like after the series ends.

Very meta - and too complex for me to actually write an involved review without spoiling everything for you. Although "City of Men" (film) stands alone, I'm sure that it's much more enjoyable with the context of watching City of Men (TV) and "City of God" first.

My rating: A MUST SEE!

If you haven't seen "City of God", ~~climb out from under that rock~~ check it out. If you like the movie, then I highly recommend you watch the other two parts of this unique trilogy to flesh out the story (and blow your mind).

Warning: While this series is essentially a coming-of-age story, it's not for sensitive people or children. The violence is very graphic, although not gratuitous.

Say hello to my lil friend!

Since I like you, here's "City of God" for you to watch right now! :-)

My Health Care Story

2010-02-16T09:54:00.000-08:00

Hello, I'm a 30 year-old woman who is what the media likes to call "underemployed", which means that I'm working but don't have any employer-based benefits. My story seems to keep slipping between the cracks in the health care coverage (pun intended).

Two years ago, I was working as a contractor for a large company that couldn't afford to hire me permanently because of the high cost of health insurance. Instead, they kept extending my contract as a temporary worker. I agreed because some money is better than none, right?

In January of 2008, I was blindsided by a mac truck. I suffered back and neck injuries and my car was totaled. Because of my injuries, I wasn't able to sit up for longer than 30 minutes without extreme pain. Taking medication for pain relief made it impossible to do my job, so my temporary contract was terminated and talks of becoming a permanent employee ended. In California, a temporary contract can only be extended to a year to avoid "exploiting" temporary workers.

So I was injured, out of a job and had no car. But my medical bills for medication, physical therapy, and transportation (along with regular living expenses) mounted. Two years later, I'm healthy again but my savings for another rainy day have been reduced by half due to out-of-pocket medical expenses (long, my-health-care-insurance-company-is- -being-sued-for-fraudulent-billing-practices story).

I am fortunate that my parents taught me to save for a rainy day, because my rainy day literally included an unpredictable car accident that could've ended my life.

So now I'm working for a small company that pays incredibly high premiums in health insurance to cover most of its employees - something that many small companies can't manage to do. But the owner's generosity is threatening the financial solvency of the company. Small companies are the backbone of America's economy. Over 60% of Americans are employed by small companies. According to a new federal study, health care spending in 2009 was an estimated $2.5 trillion. That's $8,047 per person! If it keeps rising at the current rate, health care spending is projected to double by 2019.

A sick country is not an effective country. A sick country can not be a world leader.

This is why I'm fighting to help people like me who are "underemployed" to get affordable health care. Life's unexpected medical curve balls should not cause bankruptcies, loss of houses and jobs and the end of a college education for our children.

We are not welfare cases living off of the state. We want to work. We want to get married. We want to be able to start families. But we need quality health care first.

We're extremely close to passing real health reform. I support President Obama in encouraging Congress to take us to the finish line.

Thank you for reading, and hopefully sharing, my story.

******************************************************************************

That's the letter that I just wrote to my local newspapers in support of health care reform through Organizing For America's Health Care Action Center's easy online tools.

If you were moved by my story, please help me take action. Even if you weren't moved by my story, you probably have your own story or a story of a loved one that moves you to take action.

If you support President Obama in calling Congress to pass an effective health care reform bill that includes the benefits below, then please take action and contact your congressional representatives. Most actions take less than 1 minute to do because the email, tweet, facebook, call, etc. is already written for you. (Of course, you also have the freedom to flip the script, too.) I have contacted my reps in almost every way possible but I also wanted to share my story in my own words. I'm a blogger so I might as well write for my cause, right?

Contact your congressional reps here.

Don't believe the media hype. These are the health care reform benefits that we are fighting to get for all Americans.

Both the House and Senate versions of health insurance reform rest upon the following building blocks:

Insurance reforms to protect consumers from insurance company worst-practices – like denying coverage based on pre-existing conditions, capping total coverage, and dropping or watering down coverage when you get sick and need it most
Consumer protections that will restrict how much of your premium dollars insurance companies can spend on marketing, profits, and salaries
Creation of a health exchange to increase consumer choice and guarantee coverage
Affordable health options, with subsidies for working families and a hardship waiver
Tax credits to help small businesses afford coverage
Making preventive care completely free – with no co-payments or deductibles
Lowering the cost of health care for our seniors
Improving the quality and extending the life of Medicare
Ensuring that reform is not only fully paid for, but actually significantly reduces the federal deficit

Source

Sometimes, I Can Be A Cry-Baby

2010-02-13T03:03:00.000-08:00

Today, I learned a couple painful, yet valuable, lessons...

1. I am more sensitive than I let on (to others and myself).

2. When handing out criticism, use the compliment-criticize-compliment formula. NEVER start out with the criticism first. No one will hear the compliment if given last.

Read the full story of how I learned this lesson.

Any words of wisdom you care to share? I'd rather learn the easy way - vicariously through you.

Lost While Watching "Lost"

2010-02-08T22:57:00.000-08:00

The following is a good example of me forgetting things to make room for more brain storage space.

Last week, someone gave me a link to TWoP and I visited the site like it was brand new to me.

Until 5 minutes ago, I had forgotten that I posted my (somewhat extensive) theories there last year, which means that at some point I remembered enough about this show to have a theory.

So why am I (finally) watching the season 6 premiere like I have only seen one episode?

Jack's on the plane again! What's that guy's name sitting next to Jack? Nice accent. Where is he from?

Oh yeah, Desmond. How did he die again? Wait, is he still alive?

The foot! What did this foot mean?

And so on.

I have turned into that annoying person who needs explanations every couple minutes. (I see now that I'm going to have to review the entire series - including the season that I haven't seen - at some point before the final episode.)

Should I be worried about premature senility? Or is it really super & extra lame to make an audience wait the time it takes to conceive and deliver a baby to premiere a new season?

While we ponder these incredibly important questions, here are my "Lost" theories (as of last year at the end of season 5):

May 16, 2009 @ 7:02 pm

I like the gods theories being tossed around here. :-)

Taking it a bit further...if Jacob and NotJacob are gods (or "physical manifestations" of the gods), then "people" like Richard could be the angels doing the gods' work for them. Perhaps this is all some test to recruit angels, to see who's good at handling the big "To Do" lists they are tasked with (snip)...

This could all really be one big backgammon/checkers/chess game between Jacob and NotJacob (to settle some random dispute about human nature...with winner takes all stakes?) - kinda like the movie Trading Places where the "main" characters were pretty much pawns being used to prove/disprove some theory of the 2 rich brothers. If my theory is correct, then what's interesting about this show is that the island "mysteries" are mysterious only because we're being shown the details first while the big picture is slowly revealed to us season by season. So, theoretically, as the seasons continue, our perspective SHOULD change from viewing (and caring about) the Losties specifically to caring about the big picture. Perhaps we're supposed to start viewing the Losties (and Others, etc.) as only the small details of the bigger picture. Also, the island could be like "home base" of the gods. Jacob is recruiting "pawns" (or players) to prove his theory that humans can work together cooperatively, act unselfishly, etc.

As someone else upthread mentioned...the two arguments from the gods could be NotJacob: "humans are inherently selfish" (proven by some Losties, Others, etc. to be true) vs. Jacob: "humans are not inherently selfish" (proven by some Losties, Others, etc. to be true), rather than Light vs. Dark or Good vs. Evil. Good/Evil are man-made religious - and not necessarily spiritual - concepts. The show could be making the argument that there is no Good and Evil - only different purposes/perspectives. (Or is that too mystical?? lol). What's "good" and "bad" really is subjective. E.g., death is not inherently a "bad" thing and living is not inherently a "good" thing like many of us are raised to believe. Maybe the stakes of the bet is either ultimate creation/survival of (human)life or ultimate destruction of (human)life. read more

Yes, I'm a nerd. :-)

And here's proof that "Lost" is too deep even for me.

In case you missed them, catch up on old and current episodes here. Seasons 1-5 will be available through December 31, 2010.

What do you think of the season 6 premiere? Got any theories? No spoilers about episodes that haven't yet aired - please and thanks!

Everyone's Gotta Have a Theme Song

2010-02-08T17:57:00.000-08:00

Remember the scene in "I'm Gonna Get You Sucka" when Jack Spade learned that he needed a theme song in order to be a badass?

When I saw that movie at 8 years old, I decided on the spot that my theme song was "Bad" by Michael Jackson. (For reasons which shall go unlisted here.)

As I've matured, I exchanged "Bad" for a number of other theme songs that I felt defined me in less than 5 minutes: "Greatest Love Of All", "My Life", "Can't Take That Away (Mariah's Theme)", "One Of Us", "Stronger", "Love Is", "Scared of Lonely", "Flaws And All", "World Wide Woman", "Get By", "Beautiful Struggle", "My Petition", "Man in the Mirror", "I Wanna Be Free".

Regardless of the songs I chose over the years, I always seem to return to "32 Flavors", originally by Ani DiFranco. The lyrics are just so perfect. When no one seems to get me, I have this song. Through every changing situation, mood and path I walk down, I have this song:

And this morning was one of those mornings when I had to crank up my theme ALBUM to help me hit the snooze button for the last time.

What song(s) perfectly describes you or your state of mind, makes you feel so sexy or gets you pumped and ready to face the world?

If you've never seen "I'm Gonna Get You Sucka" (where have you been?!), then here's your chance to get familiar. It's a great parody of the blaxploitation movies of the 70's. Enjoy!

What I Know About Not Knowing...

2010-02-04T23:32:00.000-08:00

"Wisdom hires knowledge as an intern." ~ Jara

I just read an ah-mazzzzzzing post by Ta-Nehisi Coates titled "The Practical Limits of Knowledge".

It's an understatement to write that I love this post. Although his name is familiar to me, none of Ta-Nehisi's work immediately springs to mind. I have a feeling that in my incessant quest for knowledge that he is one of the people that I've read, pondered and forgotten as I move on to the next one.

However, with this post, he has made a permanent impression on me.

Maybe because I have been analyzing this word "knowledge" lately.

In my early years, I attracted Know-It-All's - people who loved schooling me on everything under the Sun (know-it-all's sure can recognize an apt pupil, right?). However, as I grew older with more experiences under my belt, I began attracting my own students - people who sought me out for my opinion, knowledge, and wisdom.

I didn't (and don't) always have the answer. What I do always have is a great respect for truth. Rather than give an uninformed opinion or a false fact, I'm quick to say "let me get back to you on that". If I don't know the answer and don't feel like researching it, I just say "I don't know".

I don't know. Those are the three most freeing words in the English language.

Once you don't know something, it immediately decreases the other person's expectations of you.

Try it out the next time someone comes to you with a question about the meaning of life or whatever.

"Hmm...you got me. I don't know that one. Sucks not to be a walking encyclopedia." (Warning: Some may take offense at you dropping an "I don't know", thinking it's an intentional conversation-ender. Especially if you're known as a Know-It-All)

But it really doesn't.

You know what does suck? When people think you have the answer to everything.

Because then you're expected to always have the answer to everything, which is impossible to do (without looking loud and wrong at some point). Consequently, you're bound to disappoint someone sooner or later when they find out that you're not Spock.

Thankfully, I choose a career path that favors listening to people first, then speaking - marketing/sales. (The first rule of marketing is to find out what the people want. The second rule depends on the sales philosophy of the marketer, which I won't divulge here because...it might make our job harder.).

But what if your job is to provide answers, to always know something? Naturally, know-it-alls gravitate towards certain professions - teachers, preachers, counselors, life coaches, critics, pundits, etc - to become Professional Know-It-Alls. And we listen to them because of their alleged knowledge.

What I have noticed recently is that people who don't know what they're talking about are now trying to grab up these gigs and inundate us with their full-of-bullshiggity, random-assed opinions. And they're quick to tell us "I have an opinion about everything."

Really? How is that even possible when we know that you don't know everything? But they're right. They do have an opinion about everything. What they're really saying is "I will talk about anything, even if I don't know what the hell I'm talking about." <- Clue #1 that you're dealing with a classic Know-It-All.

Don't ask me why these people exist because I. Don't. Know.

But I sure would like to find out.

When I do, I'll let you know.

*Yes, this is a placeholder post for when Ta-Nehisi (hopefully) approves me republishing and dissecting his article.

QUESTIONS: Have you read "The Practical Limits of Knowledge"? Thoughts? What other works by Ta-Nehisi Coates am I missing out on? Anything I don't know that you think I should know?

If you haven't already, check out the post that inspired this one: "The Practical Limits of Knowledge"

Another great post about the noise pollution in entertainment and on the streets: Smartest or Loudest? Thoughts On The Rampant Rhetoric of Now

Here's my favorite Know-It-All:

I'm Black & I'm Proud...Even With Deep Southern-Fried Racist Roots (Moment #1)

2010-02-02T13:17:00.000-08:00

"In 1960 — The downtown lunch counter sit-ins started on a Friday afternoon, Feb. 19, when 12 black honor students from Howard High School took stools at whites-only lunch counters. It was the first sit-in demonstration in Chattanooga. The crowd of protesters grew daily until Wednesday, Feb. 24, when more than 1,000 people gathered downtown. Authorities turned fire hoses on the crowd, both black and white, to disperse them. On Aug. 5, downtown lunch counters served black customers for the first time." ~ Chattanooga Times Free Press

My aunt, JoAnne Favors (nee Humphries), was one of those 12 black honor students from Howard High School who was brave enough to defy the unjust Jim Crow laws. In 2010, it's easy for me to say that I would've sat down next to my aunt at that lunch counter...but I don't know for sure that I would have done so. In 1960, it would've been unrealistic of me to expect equal treatment to white men and white women. My biggest fears in life involve my freedoms being restricted, so I would have wanted to avoid the whole jail possibility. Also, I love my life a little too much. And I have an uppity streak. Being an uppity Negro in those days was the quickest route to getting ran out of town, ran over, beat, shot, lynched, drowned, set on fire and worse. None of those possibilities thrill me, either.

More than 5 generations of my family walked the halls of Howard High. When my cousin gave her valedictory speech a couple years ago, she spoke of how her aunt (my mother) gave her own valedictory speech on the same stage more than 30 years ago. That cousin, who is 10 years younger than me, was taught by people who taught our parents, grandparents and great-grandparents. Both of my grandmothers taught Howard students. In fact, this school is the reason why my 5 year-old heart was set on attending Howard University, a school I thought was the natural next level for Howard High graduating seniors.

So yes, this story holds special meaning to me. And it's part of my maternal family's folklore that has shaped our family culture. It was repeated to me whenever I whined about not being able to achieve something for whatever lame reason. It's stories like this one that makes "Yes we can!" more than a campaign slogan to me. I remember these stories when someone tells me that I'm dreaming too big, expecting too much and giving more to a people than I'll ever receive back from them.

I come from a long line of civic, social and political activists who, in their own small and big ways, have changed the course of black - and American - history for all of us.

Does this sound like an overstatement?

Think about the ripple effects that one small pebble can cause in a giant river.

One of my truths is that we are all connected. My actions (and non-actions) affect you. And vice versa. Even if we don't know the other exists.

At the time, those 12 Howard High students were the youngest in the nation to stage a sit-in to challenge the status quo of this country. Their success gained national attention and inspired other students across the nation to follow suit. Our successful civil rights struggle in America inspired South Africans to fight apartheid, elect Nelson Mandela in its first multi-racial democratic election and form a Constitution that Mandela modeled after the flawed yet necessary and groundbreaking U.S. Constitution. Nelson Mandela has, in turn, inspired millions as a world leader for causes such as AIDS awareness.

In other words, we all have these 12 Howard High School students to thank for the gains that we have made towards world justice for all. Thanks to them, we have the basic freedoms that allow us to pretend that the United States doesn't have second-class citizens.

Because of her earlier political and civic successes, my aunt was encouraged to run for a state congressional seat. She won. Stay tuned for how...

By the way, don't sleep on Chattanooga, Tennessee. It's more than the subject of a world-famous hit song and aquarium. There's something about this city that produces people with a fire in their bellies. Many of them have gone on to become deeply involved in various progressive movements. Even the celebrities that spring from Chatt-town are never too busy to be socially engaged or open-mouthed about their stances on civil rights: Samuel L. Jackson, Usher Raymond (and here) and Reggie White (R.I.P.) to name a few.

All of this and more is why I can't tell people from Chattanooga that their city isn't the center of the world. In many ways, it is. No really. I'm dead serious. Oh the stories I could tell. Maybe one day I will.

Dedicated to my auntie.

Related Articles:
Chattanooga: Howard Graduates Tell Students of Sit-Ins by Kelli Gauthier

An Unquenchable Flame: The Spirit of Protest And the Sit-In Movement in Chattanooga, Tennessee by Samuel R. Jackson

5 Overlooked Gifts For Black History Month

2010-02-01T12:12:00.000-08:00

You know that person who's hard to buy gifts for because they a.) have everything b.) like nothing or c.) have out-of-budget taste? Well, I just found the perfect gift for that person in my life. Because she's so hard to please, I look for her gifts year-round and store them for special occasions. Coincidentally, I found this perfect gift for her on the first day of Black History Month: a bound copy of A Day of Absence, one of her favorite plays. She took me to see this play when I was younger and it was an eye-opener and life-changer.

Written by Douglas Turner Ward, A Day of Absence is about a small town in the Deep South in which black people mysteriously disappear for the day. As the day progresses, the whites in town notice the lack of work getting done, lack of convenient scapegoats, and basic lack of joie de vivre. In other words, the town completely broke the hell down without having black backs to lean on.

Fascinating, right? Now imagine this play that was written, produced and set in the 1960's (amidst a national battle for basic civil rights)...was performed in all whiteface by black actors (with the exception of one actual white actress).

Yeah.

When I mentioned this play to the kids I mentor last week, none of them have heard of it. Although this isn't as famous of a play as say, Raisin in the Sun, it's just as meaningful, profound and even more timeless to me. And it should be right next to Shakespeare on the list of required reading for every student in every public and private school.

Yesterday, someone mentioned on Twitter that they're at a black play about black people by black people and yet no black people are there to support it. This comment wasn't shocking to me in the least. I have lost count of how many quality so-called black cultural events I have attended or black products that I have bought (or been introduced to) that black people simply aren't supporting on a large scale. As a matter of fact, the first person to introduce me to "political rockstar" Barack Obama was a white man from Pennsylvania. In 2003. Yes, pre-2004 DNC Keynote Address and pre-"A More Perfect Union" speech Barack Obama was considered a national rockstar. But he wasn't on most black Americans' radar for a loooooong time (some blacks only became aware of him when he managed to somehow beat Democratic incumbant to the White House thrown, Hillary Clinton, in the primaries).

How does this happen? Why does this happen? I have my theories. Which I will save for another post.

But this all got me to thinking about the quality gifts that I have received from people that seem to be overlooked by other blacks.

So in honor of Black History Month, my gift to you is a list of 5 Overlooked Gifts For Black History Month. You may already know about these or own them...but I'm willing to bet a month's worth of salary that you know someone who doesn't. And that someone may appreciate one of these gifts.

1. Death of of Prophet: Last Days of Malcolm X - Morgan Freeman stars in the first ever film about Malcolm X. With a focus on his last day with us, this story is a unique take on the man and the myth. Ironically, it also features Yolanda King in a significant role. Yes, that Yolanda King - MLK jr.'s daughter. No spoilers but...the King and X families were a lot closer than they would have us believe. The film is now available on DVD, so check it out if you have some free time. [I know what you're thinking: Wasn't Malcolm 39 when he died? When has Morgan Freeman EVER been 39 years old? This is a made-for-TV movie that aired in 1981. Born in 1938, Morgan was a bit over 40 years old at the time but he still had black hair so no major casting fail here. Last month, I discovered that Morgan Freeman has, in fact, been under 40 years before and there's video proof.]

2. Solomon & Sheba - We know her as a gorgeous Academy Award-winning actress, but in 1995, Halle Berry was on a hot made-for-TV streak. After completing her critically acclaimed role as author Alex Haley's grandmother in "Queen", she won the role of Queen Sheba. At the time, it was unheard of for a black woman to be cast as a black woman in a biblical story. In 1959, Hollywood tried to tell us that the Queen of Sheba looked like this, despite Sheba being in what is now Eritrea, Ethiopia and Yemen. And don't get me started on Elizabeth Taylor as Cleopatra. For those of you who don't know, Queen Sheba was one of the first women to rule an entire kingdom. Her intelligence and shrewdness is just as fabled as her beauty. She's one of my sheroes, so it was nice seeing the story of how she came to power.

This film co-stars Jimmy Smitts (L.A. Law, NYPD Blue) as Solomon. And, let me tell ya, their chemistry is hotttt. In 1995, having an interracial love scene that went beyond simple pecking (even between two people of color) was still...taboo. For some reason, Showtime (and its parent company, CBS), doesn't want you to know this film exists. It has never been formally released as a VHS or DVD, is rarely listed on any of the actors filmographies, and took me 5 years to find a copy (to at least prove to friends that it does indeed exist). If you would like to see the film, let me know in the comments section or via email. The DVD is available for purchase for $10 (including S&H if you live within the United States).

3. You may know the fabulous Blair Underwood as an actor from Krush Groove, L.A. Law, Just Cause, Madea's Family Reunion, Something New, The New Adventures of the Old Christine, Dirty Sexy Money, the-list-goes-on fame. Or you may know Blair as a do-gooding philanthropist (founder of AHF Blair Underwood Healthcare Center that offers free HIV/AIDS care; co-founded Artists for a New South Africa, a non-profit organization dedicated to democracy and equality in South Africa, and more).

But did you know that he's also an author of some very entertaining fiction? I'm in the middle of reading his second novel, In the Night of the Heat: a Tennyson Hardwick Novel. Ladies, it's not often that we get a sexy male black detective as the lead character, now is it? ;-) But just in case the fellas think this is some chick lit, think again. This is a character that both men and women can enjoy:

"[Casanegra: a Tennyson Hardwick Novel ] is a wild ride through Hollywood, heart-pounding in every way. Smooth, ultra-sexy Tennyson Hardwick is a man readers will want to meet up close. He is all heart and danger, a knight in battered armor. You will love this novel!"
~ E. Lynn Harris New York Times bestselling author

The third novel in the series, From Cape Town With Love: a Tennyson Hardwick Novel, will be released on May 18, 2010.

4. Prince Among Slaves - I first became aware of this true story via a gift from one of my favorite uncles. At 11, the book by Terry Alford was a heavy read for me. I don't even think I finished it then. But as a freshman in college, I revisited this story and found it more inspiring than Roots, Queen, Rosewood and Amistad rolled into one (although Amistad is a very close second). Last year, I watched the movie and cried at the end. For those of you who don't know me well, this is very rare. I've only cried during maybe...4 movies in my lifetime (yes, The Color Purple is one of them).

"Winner of the Best Documentary at the 2007 American Black Film Festival, PRINCE AMONG SLAVES tells the compelling story of Abdul Rahman, an African Muslim prince, through feature-film styled re-enactments directed by Andrea Kalin and Emmy-Award-winner Bill Duke; contemporary artworks, archival letters and diaries; and on-camera interviews with distinguished scholars and experts. Narrated by actor and hip-hop artist Mos Def, PRINCE AMONG SLAVES is based on Dr. Terry Alford's biography of the same name. The inspiring true story of an African prince who survived 40 years of enslavement in America before finally regaining his freedom." ~ PBS

5. Last, but not least...In addition to celebrating our famously outspoken, brave civil rights activists during this Black History Month, let's also focus on our achievements in the sciences. Without black inventors, our lives would be drastically different. We'd have way more car accident fatalities because we wouldn't have traffic lights (but we'd also have less traffic tickets, so hmm...scratch that one). I wouldn't be able to write this post on my cool laptop because it wouldn't have enough memory or operating power without the all-important microchip. Try relaxing from a hard day at work without video games or a remote control. Without cash registers, calculators or an abacus, imagine the wait time in stores while cashiers calculate every single purchase in their head. But wait, those cashiers wouldn't be able to make those types of calculations because they didn't attend school without a black inventor to create the first one. Now imagine how long we would have to wait to get new food in the grocery store without a railroad system. The list goes on and on. Without black inventors, none of us would be here. And I literally wouldn't be here if it weren't for my black parents inventing me. So thanks for that.

Extra special shout-out to my first love who is a patent holder. His invention? He literally created magic by defying gravity.

In order to get a patent, you must prove:

*an orignal idea.
*a marketable idea.
*an idea that is of value to many people.

Let that marinate for a bit.

Now...If you want your mind blown, check out this somewhat full list of black patent holders. It's amazing to see what our brilliant black minds come up with if we're encouraged to let our imaginations run wild.

I hope you celebrate all of this and more with me during our special month of recognition because Black History is World History.

What does Black History Month mean to you? Have you given or received any of these gifts? What overlooked gifts did I miss?

Related Posts:
"I Don't Believe in Fairy Tales"
Celebrate OurStory - Ida B. Wells
Kwanzaa Time Is Here...Do We Celebrate It Or Not?

Death of a Prophet [SCENES]

Prince Among Slaves [TRAILER]

Blair Underwood discusses the opening of the AHF Blair Underwood Clinic:

The classic made into a classic. [TRAILER]

A remake of a remake of a classic. [TRAILER]

A Call For Change: Your Response to the State of the Union Address

2010-01-28T18:21:00.000-08:00

I saw it.

Hopefully, you saw it, too.

So what'd you think?

Plenty of good sound-bites to chew over.

Half of the chambers looked ready for change, right?

But did you see the members of Congress who busied themselves by folding their arms with lips poked out, tweeting, texting, sleeping, yawning (wake up Harry Reid!)? They don't look ready to lead this country anywhere, do they?

Congress needs a wake-up call.

Right now.

And we need you to ask your friends and family to give your representatives a call.

I just sent out an email to my people asking them to join me in lighting a fire under Congress' tweeting asses.

This is activism made easy. All you have to do is copy and paste the following message and press "send".

The President has done his part to help the middle class. Now let's do ours.

**********************************

Hi,

Last night, the President outlined a bold plan to create jobs in the short-term, fight for long-term prosperity for the middle class, and finish the job on health reform.

Now, I'm helping to build support for President Obama's proposals by committing to generating 10 calls to Congress.

Will you help me out by calling your representatives in Congress today? Let them know that you support health reform and President Obama's plan to fight for the middle class, and that they have your thanks if they fight alongside him.

You can look up your representatives' numbers here:

http://my.barackobama.com/call10

Thanks!

Jara

If you didn't get a chance to catch the SOTU, here's the full address:

2-0-0...Nope. Gonna Party Like It's 2010

2010-01-26T14:18:00.000-08:00

It's only January, yet 2010 is already kicking 2009's ass.

Let me count the ways...

1. Settled some headache cases from 2008 and 2009. More pending...

2. On track to fulfill one of my New Year's resolutions to complain less. How? By sticking with #3.

3. I have resolved to idiot-whiner-drama-proof my friends and acquaintances circle. Starting with longterm friends and ending with Twitter. My blood pressure is currently 117/79 and I plan to keep it that way.

4. My OFA Neighborhood Action Team is coming together quite nicely. Found some more proactive people in my area who are ready to fight those who are trying to block our agenda. And we have picked a candidate to support. :)

After the expected loss of a Democratic U.S. Senate seat in Massachusetts and horrible SCOTUS decision last week, it's time to refocus, develop different strategies and have fun.

Tomorrow, we're throwing a State of the Union Watch Party to support the President's attack plan for 2010.

5. Today, I found out some sweet, sweet justice was delivered. One of these "idiots" is the son of a U.S. Attorney...that is about to be replaced. Hmm.

6. On a personal note, I'm doing some soul-searching that will help me achieve some other things on my 2010 To-Do List.

And counting...

Yep, it's definitely time to party like it's 2010. With my new no-drama motto.

Do you have any New Year's resolutions? So far, how does 2010 compare to 2009?

Why I'm Ignoring Haiti

2010-01-23T12:14:00.000-08:00

Last night, I went to a pub to sing and dance horribly to some fluffy music. That was my distraction of choice to help relieve the stress of my week (translation: Coakley, Massachusetts, Coakley).

Yep, while others were watching (and pledging money to) the Hope for Haiti telethon, I was entertaining my blues away.

One television had it on but I purposely kept my back to it. Why?

My tolerance level for human tragedy is very low. I get extremely uncomfortable watching people cry. I'm a sucker for the Sad Eyes.

FACT: If I had watched that telethon, I would be moved to pledge my entire savings account to the little girl who they pulled out from underneath the rubble.

So I danced the night away...and let others worry about Haiti.

Or be entertained by Haiti.

Sometimes, I wonder about people.

Ever been in an extra long traffic jam and, after two hours, finally creep past the cause? It's usually a really bad accident that people can't pass up the chance to study. Even at the expense of being even more late to whereever they're headed.

FACT: The more emergency vehicles involved, the longer the traffic jam.

Have you ever seen a man selling a bag of oranges, some watermelon or jugs of water on the side of the freeway cause a traffic jam? Neither have I. Not even on the hottest, most summery of days when any of these goodies would quench our thirst.

We occasionally enjoy watching a warm-and-fuzzy human interest story, but we can always be counted on to rubberneck a human tragedy.

If you don't believe me, check out your local news programming. It's not your imagination that it's about 80% tragedy/warnings/scare tactics and 20% heartwarming. I've heard many people complain about the level of negativity on the news.

But what some of them may not know is...

Since the 90's (think OJ Simpson trial, Monicagate, etc.), corporations like Disney (owns ABC) and General Electric (owns NBC) have moved their news programming from the non-profit arms to their for-profit ENTERTAINMENT divisions. I found this out when I contacted ABC to complain about the "gotcha"-style "journalism" of Charlie Gimmemycapitalgainstaxcredit and George Stephapoopoo during the Obama v. Clinton matchup...I mean debate.

When news becomes big business, it becomes very important to CEOs to know what captures and holds the public's attention. Millions of dollars' worth of marketing research is conducted to discover what we like to watch. And then they feed it back to us - one scintillating image and soundbite after another.

FACT: Americans love to be entertained.

Entertainment = whatever enhances - or distracts us from - our ordinary lives. Whether that means fluff reality shows like "Real Housewives of (I Would Like To Live In That City)" to reading light and fluffy blogs to watching star-studded telethons for Haiti relief, we like to know that our lives are better than someone's life (or live vicariously through someone whose life is better than ours). And how can we know that unless we have a misery barometer? If you notice, the more miserable a person is in their own circumstances, the higher the tolerance is for exposing themselves to bullshit.

So yes...sometimes I wonder about people.

I wonder why some people who never gave a rat's ass about any charity or philanthropy are all of a sudden enthralled with Haiti....

I just hope that this tragedy de jour holds people's attention long enough to help Haiti in the long run.

In the meanwhile, I'll be turning my back on telethons, pictures and videos of the quake aftermath while I sort my old clothes to donate and dance and sing my blues away.

FACT: Between all of the text "xyz" to "abc" organization and subsequent published shadiness of "abc" organization, I'm now unsure of which charities to promote.

Personally, I think Americares is the best equipped to distribute relief funds, but you can take your pick of the charities that you trust the most. If your financial situation qualifies you to be a recipient of charity yourself, then ask about donating your time or old whatevers. Every little help helps.

I donated $10 to 5 of them and pray that at least some of it helps them get back to the way they were (and better).

How An Earthquake Feels

War + Peace = Survival (dedicated to Iranian soldiers for democracy)
The Non-Harry-Reid Race Stories That the Media Is Ignoring
(Almost) Tired of Defending The Truth

Woman, Sexist and Homophobe Aren't Mutually Exclusive

2010-01-22T17:11:00.000-08:00

Today, rapper Apache died "from a protracted illness". I found out from Q-Tip on Twitter, a rapper that I respect for his courage to be unique within a genre that suffers from copycatism and rampant homophobia. In his tweet, Q-Tip reminisced about Apache being "a real stand up dude". At the time of this writing, Q-Tip's tweet was retweeted (co-signed) by 33 people.

When I read Q-Tip's tweet, the first thing that came to my mind was Apache's 90's hit "Gangsta Bitch".

Disclaimer: I didn't know Apache personally.

No man responsible for this type of garbage is "a real stand up dude" in my book.

At the time that "Gangsta Bitch" was racing up the charts, I was a 12 year-old smart enough to recognize stupidity when I heard it. But I remember many of my friends went crazy with "this is my joint!!" every time "Gangsta Bitch" played on the radio (on. the. radio?!) or at a house party. And my female friends were the first ones to get up and dance.

One could write this off as a case of being young and dumb.

Fast forward to 1994. Tupac Shakur was on trial for sexual assault of a 19 year-old woman named Nell.

That skank just wants his money.

She left the club with him. She probably knew what was up.

Have you seen him? Tupac doesn't need to rape anyone!

Ain't no fun if the homies can't have none.

Guess which of these direct quotes came from a female....

I'll wait...

This one is easy. If you picked any of them, you'd be correct.

In 1994, I sat at a bench during lunch period analyzing this recent turn of events with a group of 3 males and 4 female friends. Every last teenage girl at that table supported Tupac and called Nell out as some variation of a lying bitch trying to tear down this shining ghetto prince. All 3 males believed and defended her.

When it became my turn to chime in with my 2 cents, my kneejerk reaction was to support Tupac and question why he would need to rape anyone. Rape is for ugly men who can't attract a woman. Right? I didn't accept this woman's story as true at all. How can a man who writes such beautiful lyrics about his mother be responsible for a woman getting raped? Nope, I didn't believe this lying hussy at all.

Until I read her version of what went down that night in VIBE (my then-favorite magazine).

Nell gained credibility with me when she admitted to being so excited to meet this man who she had long admired that she willingly had sex with him within hours of introductions. I could relate to the fan in her. Then she went on to describe how he set up a situation in the hotel room so that his homies could force her into having sex against her will.

I believed her.

Why?

One thing that liars cannot do well is come up with details. And remember them.

But her story remained the same every time I heard/read it.

At the time, it was a huge debate whether or not Nell lied. It was my generation's version of Anita Hill v. Clarence Thomas. And just like then, most of Tupac's more vocal support came from women. Black women.

Fast forward to 1998. One of the hip-hop generation's premiere critics/writers pens a scathing critique of Maxwell's sophomore effort and compares him unfavorably to the more thugalicious D'Angelo. Throughout the piece, his masculinity is questioned and challenged as if he's Dr. Dre and the author is Eazy E. In a 3.3 paragraph album review, no mention of Maxwell's music until...drumroll please...paragraph 3. The author is a black woman.

Fast forward to 2010. It's been a year since the inauguration of the first African-American man to become President of the United States. Throughout his presidential campaign and since being sworn in on January 20, 2009, Barack Obama has been called "punk" (or its equivalent) approximately 3,276,398 times and counting. Mostly by men. Black men. With white men (perhaps emboldened by race "spokespeople" such as Michael Eric Dyson and Tavis Smiley?) coming from behind at a distant-but-gaining-on-them second.

Barack Obama is a married black man who is a very present father (especially considering his occupation) who has taken on the incredible added responsibility of leading a country out of the hell we were in for at least 6 of the last 9 years.

But Barack Obama's a punk.

Tupac was many things: a rapper, actor, symbolic leader of generation x's hip-hop revolution, ghetto storyteller, felon, blatant misogynist, hedonist, promoter of thug life and C.R.E.A.M. lifestyle, etc.

To my knowledge, Tupac has never once been called a punk.

Prior to becoming Justice Clarence Thomas, he was accused of sexually harrassing a woman at work. Scores of black men and women rallied behind him and called his hearing an example of The Man trying to hold a brother down. So he was voted in. Since 1992, Justice Clarence Thomas has bee consistent on two things: he sides with The Man against policies that benefit colored folk and rarely asks any questions before giving his opinion. So when you're about to decide a matter that will have long-reaching effects on an entire country, a question never pops into his head, huh? Could it be that the hand up his ass is keeping his mouth shut?

To my knowledge, Clarence Thomas has never once been called a punk.

Since his debut album in 1995, Maxwell has released four critically and commercially successful albums full of quality R&B music where he somehow manages to express his admiration for a woman without calling her a bitch (or any equivalent) or reduce her to her body parts or sexual abilities.

Meanwhile, Mr. Thug-Sexy, whose first R&B hit is an ode to marijuana, is a drug addict who has been arrested many times. And can't release an album to save his music career.

But Maxwell is a punk.

Apache's "Gangsta Bitch" rose to #11 on Billboard's Hot Rap Singles and #67 on the Billboard Hot 100:

[Chorus: Apache]
I need a gangsta bitch (a gangsta bitch)
I want a gangsta bitch yo (a gangsta bitch)
I wanna "Gangsta boogie!" with my (gangsta bitch)
I want a (gangsta bitch) I need a (gangsta bitch)
I need a gangsta bitch (a gangsta bitch)
I want a gangsta bitch yo (a gangsta bitch)
I wanna "Gangsta boogie!" with my (gangsta bitch)
I need a (gangsta bitch) I want a (gangsta bitch)

[Verse One]
Yo, I need a gangsta bitch; she don't sleep and she don't play
Stickin up girls from around the fuckin way
Strapped but lovable, hateful but huggable
Always in trouble and definitely fuckable

Etc.

But Apache is a "a real stand up dude".

Here are a few stats for you:
In 1992, 67% of black children lived in a single parent home.
In 2001, 63% of black children lived in households headed by single mothers.
In 2009, there's an increase in the numbers of single black women adopting.

Any sociologist or cultural anthropologist worth their salt will tell you that a society's culture is primarily transmitted in the home through raising children.

I don't know the percentage breakdowns of how many boys v. girls are being raised by single black mothers, but I think these stats prove that black women have a huge impact on the messaging that our black children receive about gender roles and expectations.

Maybe if black women would reconsider our ideas of what is masculine and what is feminine, we wouldn't have such a problem with our black men disrespecting us all of the time.

Maybe if black women wouldn't call a black man who's loving, considerate and responsible a "punk", we would have more fathers in the home.

Maybe if black women weren't so homophobic, their sons wouldn't feel the need to hide their homosexuality.

Because every street psychologist knows that men will rise (or fall) to the standards that their mothers, aunts, sisters, wives, girlfriends and female friends hold for them.

Pussy is a powerful thang.

So now it's time to ask the age-old question:

Which came first - the chicken or the egg?

Is it possible for a woman to be a sexist or a homophobe?

Who sets the standard for how we define "manhood" and "womanhood"?

Who is most responsible for perpetuating the inequality between men and women?

Related posts:
"Win/Win"

Related posts from other blogs:

why the “ratio monster” is full of sh*t

And for your viewing pleasure, here's a hip-hop "classic" from my childhood (which the original male artists got PAID royally from when a woman brought it back to life ):

Imagine A Complaint-Free World

2010-01-18T06:53:00.000-08:00

“A little less complaint and whining, and a little more dogged work and manly striving, would do us more credit than a thousand civil rights bills.”~ W. E. B. Du Bois

In honor of Martin Luther King, Jr.'s birthday, I'm restarting my personal mission to remain complaint-free for at least a week. That's right. An entire week of no complaining. Not even for entertainment purposes.

Here's how:

A couple years ago around this time, I saw a video from one of my (then) favorite astrologers about her attempts to join a Complaint-Free World. At the time, I was going through what astrologers call a Saturn Return, which happens between the ages of 28 to 30. During this time, we're learning tough lessons that, if we grasp, life will be smooth sailing until our next Saturn Return at some point in our late 50's. If we don't learn our lesson, well...that lesson is going to repeat like a broken record.

Well, my Saturn is in Virgo. Virgo - the sign that pursues perfection with the fanaticism that would put even the most devout Jesus freak to shame. Truth be told, Virgo is one of the most idealistic signs of the zodiac. Since nothing in life is perfect, Virgo's busy work is finding (and, in its higher state, fixing) flaws. What do we do when reality doesn't match up to our ideals? We complain!

So Elsa's description of an initiative to rid the world of complaints intrigued me (when not complaining of unrealized ideals, the dogged pursuit of self-improvement is Saturn in Virgo's other hobby):

At the time, I was going through a break-up with someone whose chart is loaded with Virgo energy (no surprise why I was attracted to HIM during this specific time period, huh?). My nickname for him was Mr. Pity Party. No matter what good fortune lay at his feet, he could pick it apart until all that was left was a self-fulfilling prophecy of doom waiting to happen. He got the job of his dreams paying him more than his dream paycheck, but after the couple minutes that he allowed himself to celebrate, he immediately began worrying that they would find out he's a fraud and snatch the offer back. This led to complaints about how hard it is for people to get work Visas in America. And so on...

My relationship with him served as a clear mirror for me. I may not have complained with his same level of intensity or frequency, but I definitely pulled up a chair to more than a few of his Pity Parties with my own list of gripes. Most of the time, we made each other laugh with our mutual rants. But at those times when one of us was in a good mood, then the ranter just became a buzzkill.

I also realized that complaining gave me a false sense of having done something about the problem. Yet the problem still existed.

So this idea of a complaint-free world spoke to me.

After viewing the video, I visited the website and purchased three bracelets - one for me, one for my Virgo-loaded-soon-to-be-ex and one for my mom (with her Jupiter in Virgo, she's no stranger to complaining, either). I'm not going to lie. The first day was hard. Not only did I switch my bracelet twice but I also gave myself a snap on the wrist for a particular lengthy gripe session during rush hour traffic.

It took me over 4 months to get to 21 consecutive complaint-free days.

In that time, I found that I was able to fill in the absence of complaints with more workable solutions.

The less I complained, the more satisfied I felt. The quality of my life increased exponentially, too.

With each new proactive solution, I no longer felt despair at not being able to overcome what seemed like insurmountable problems. Chipping away at a huge problem empowered me. People with Saturn in Virgo are easily weighted down with fears of failure and can suffer from the condition known as "paralysis by analysis". Through my efforts not to complain, I learned that it's better to count even the smallest steps in the right direction as wins in order to remain motivated. (My mom with her Jupiter in Virgo put this to me in a way that I could understand and accept.)

I learned that lesson two years ago. However...Lately, I have found myself complaining a lot about complainers. By virtue of having my ears and eyes open every day, I am deluged with constant complaints from people about everything from major problems to the infinite minutiae of their lives. Their constant complaints dampen my spirit and make me super angry super fast (blame that on my Sagittarius rising). Honestly, I wish they would all just shut up. Because complaining is more contagious than the common cold.

But...instead of continuing my rant about complainers, I have decided to be proactive and commit my first act of service today: spread the word about this initiative so people can hop off of the complaint track.

It has (almost) worked for me.

Click here to order A Complaint Free World bracelet. They're inexpensive, resemble fancy rubberbands (i.e. unisex!) and come in different colors. Mine is a very versatile black. If you know someone who complains way too much for their own (and your) good, buy one for them, too. Or share this post with them.

Have a happy complaint-free MLK day!

To learn more about how Saturn works in the other signs, click here.

Related Posts:
Does Bitching = Action?
Saturn in Virgo - September 2007 - October 2009
Fear of Failure Is So Yesterday

Can Long-Distance Relationships Work?

2010-01-17T10:18:00.000-08:00

These days, it's almost impossible not to have experienced at least one long-distance relationship. Between email, text messaging, video-phoning, Facebook, and Twitter, it's also next to impossible to be out of touch with someone.

The first few times I attempted a long-distance relationship, we were manually writing letters and using pagers (remember those? yes, I'm that old) to keep in touch. Then they involved cell phones with green backlighting and autotune-sounding ringtones. In those days, I was missing my boo's calls left and right because of drop zones. In 2004, I met someone who I was really feeling but he had to return to London for some family business...for an open-ended stay. He called every day and sent me sweet thinking-of-you gifts like the finest of chocolates, books by my favorite authors, a Jill Scott CD with "our" song...but none of those things could replace his physical presence. Every time I asked, "So when are you coming back?" and he couldn't give me a definitive answer, my affection slowly withered. I love me some Jill Scott but her CD was not keeping me warm at night. By the time he returned a month later, in typical Jara fashion, I had moved on to the next one. So a few years later when my then-boyfriend went a continent away on an extended visit with his relatives, I already knew better. "Let's just say we're on a break and see what happens when you return." I'll give you one guess as to what happened when he returned...

(People, this is the curse of having a fondness for travel and a weakness for foreign men.)

But since those failed attempts at long-distance somethingships, technology has improved to the point where we can be "intimate" with the right goggles on from thousands of miles away.

But can all of this newfangled gadgetry replace the intimacy that is shared when two people are face to face in the same room? It's hard work to stay in lurve with a person an ocean away when there's a cutie winking from the table right next to you.

(In this economy, living 30 miles away is long-distance. Gas ain't cheap.)

What got me to thinking about long-distance relationships?

I'm trying out this new thing called formspring where people can ask questions about whatever. I'm a very curious person so it has been a heavenly experience so far...

Since this blog is the equivalent of an online journal, I figured I'd share my response to one of the questions asked of me about long-distance relationships.

What is your opinion on long distance relationships? Are the relevant? Are they tested on trust more than true affection? by CopperSoul

For those who need space and autonomy in relationships, the long distance can be the glue that keeps the relationship together. But for people like me who link physical closeness with emotional closeness, LDRs are a challenge.

LDRs are very much relevant because of the increased amount of travel some have to do for their careers. Also, with all of this new technology, it makes it easier and possible to have a LDR without feeling so far away.

As your question suggests, I believe LDRs must be based on a higher amount of trust than normal relationships because the people involved have to rely so much on faith in the other person. e.g. faith in faithfulness, continued affection, etc. Having an expiration date to the separation helps. I wouldn't advise two people being in a LDR unless they REALLY trust/know each other well, because not being close injects some insecurity in the relationship that they'll need to weather.

Personally, I haven't been in a long-distance relationship that lasted very long. While mental stimulation goes a long way with me, I also need the physical presence of the other person (not just for sex, either). I love being in the same space with my S.O. - connecting nonverbally. I can't do that on the phone or across a web camera.

This hasn't been tested recently, but when I was younger, I could hang in a LDR for awhile but eventually my affection dies without the presence of the person there to remind me of what I love about them. I begin to think of them as just a friend. And then I move on to someone who is in my vicinity.

Disclaimer: I have never been in love before. Just in fondness. So that might have something to do with absence making my heart grow colder.

******************************************************************

So that's my two cents. But what do you think about long-distance relationships? Are they still relevant? Are they tested on trust more than true affection? Have you ever been in a long-distance relationship? How long can you go until kissing someone through the phone is no longer enough? What advice would you give to someone before they try one out?

Wanna ask a question about me, you, them, life? Click here or enter your question in the formspring box in the sidebar. Are YOU on formspring? Let me know so I can be nosy..I mean, follow you. :)

Related Posts:
Romance: Grading on a Curve
Will You Date/Marry Me?
Love of My Own
Love Revisited / "Love by Definition"
Love Rules

Is Perception Reality?

2010-01-16T09:45:00.000-08:00

“I reject your reality and substitute it for my own.” ~ Adam Savage

Yesterday, someone asked me "Is perception reality?" My answer: "That's what people say but I disagree. Reality is objective, while our perceptions are not." A couple weeks ago on Twitter, I made a similar statement in response to the trending topic #whoremembers turning into "whore members" because that's what people (with dirty minds) saw. Then "whore members" became a trending topic because people began discussing how they didn't see it as "who remembers". In essence, people's (skewed) perceptions BECAME reality because so many people shared the same (skewed) perception. But that doesn't change the actual reality that the original trending topic was "who remembers" and not "whore members".

Keeping tabs on - and shaping - public perceptions is my business and hobby. Almost daily, I find myself in a conversation with someone where I end up asking myself, "How can this person think/feel/believe this? And with such conviction, too!" Even when faced with evidence to the contrary of their beliefs, most people that I have encountered will not reject their beliefs in favor of "reality".

Most of the time, the schism between perception and reality is based on the degree to which we trust:
words v. actions
emotion v. logic
few occurrences v. many occurrences
and so on...

The same person who asked me "Is perception reality?" asked this general question on Twitter:
"Has ANYBODY seen Princess and the Frog?" His reasoning? "I asked who saw "The Princess and the Frog" because I've heard NO ONE talk about the film. At all. Not on TV, Facebook, Twitter, anything."

So this is obviously a case of perception v. reality. Because he hasn't seen anyone discussing it leads to his conclusion that the movie isn't being watched. Is this reality? Well, no. Not only was "The Princess & the Frog" #1 in its opening weekend, but it broke a record for having the highest-grossing start of any animated movie in December. So obviously people have seen the movie. The question now becomes "but are they talking about it?" Yes. This person follows me on Twitter. Not only have I tweeted at length about this movie after watching it, but I also wrote a post about it (and tweeted the link to the post). As many others have done, as well. Searching for "Princess and the Frog" on Twitter (instead of relying solely on one's follow stream) would answer this question. So while it may be true that he hasn't noticed anyone discussing the movie, it is not absolutely true that the movie isn't popular.

But try to argue that with some people. Instead of accepting the TRUTH that people are watching the film, a hard-headed person might argue about how the stats were collected, how many theatres carried the movie, compare the gross unfavorable to Avatar, etc. All in the name of backing up the original perception that the movie isn't buzzworthy. I know you have met this person before. You may be this person.

The same person who asked me "Is perception reality" and thinks that no one is watching "The Princess and the Frog" also believes that Tiger Woods has "disassociated from blacks". Why does he believe this? I don't know for sure (I'm still waiting on him to answer my follow-up question), but I suspect that it's because of Tiger's "I'm Caublasian" statement many moons ago. (Why black people have a problem with multiracial people claiming to be more than just black, I will never understand. It's probably some leftover bitterness about blacks who "passed" back in the day. But I digress...) This is not an uncommon sentiment amongst blacks that I have heard discuss Tiger.

But let's look at the facts of Tiger's actions and not his words (since so many people claim that actions speak louder than words):

1.) Two of his best friends are black: Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley. Ironically, both of them have also been given the "disassociates from blacks" label at some point in their careers. Perhaps because they don't walk around wearing daishikis with their black power fists raised? *shrug*

2.) Tiger Woods is consistently named one of the most generous celebrities. His main causes are Children, Education, Environment, Family/Parent Support, Human Rights. What group of people benefits from these causes the most? I'll give you one guess.

3.) He has started, or is actively involved in, the following foundations:

Rainforest Foundation Fund
"The Foundation aims to bring attention to the plight of indigenous peoples, the catastrophic state of their forests, to develop a self sustaining organization to give long-term support to assert and defend rights, fight against development programmes which have the most damaging effect on their environment, and carry out various projects promoting the governance and the economic development of their communities."

Tiger Woods Foundation
"In 2005, the Foundation reached a significant milestone as four years of project development for the Tiger Woods Learning Center were completed, and final preparations were made for the incoming students.
In addition to the TWLC project, the Foundation continued making a difference in the lives of young people through its annual programs and events. The Start Something program enrolled its 3-millionth participant in August and continues to help kids achieve their dreams. Additionally, it also awarded nearly $2 million in grants nationwide."

Tiger Woods Learning Center

Providing courses which help students relate what they learn in schools to what they can become in life, and striving to get kids excited about math, science, technology and language arts.

Again, who do black people think is benefiting most from these types of programs?

Oh but wait...Tiger infamously doesn't wife or mistress up black women. We now know that Tiger is a flaming philanderer. That Tiger's cheating was such a huge scandal at all stems from how much the reality of Tiger differs from the public's perception of him as a square family man. I consider him leaving black women alone to be the ultimate act of charity to the black community. But that's just me.

So where does this perception that Tiger "disassociates from black people" come from? Is it because he plays golf? Well, I hope not. Because since Tiger began playing golf professionally, he's attracted more blacks to the sport and runs a training camp for...guess who..."inner-city youth" (which we all know is code for blacks and Latinos). Golf may not be perceived as a black sport but we're watching and playing it more.

But even as I lay out all of these facts of his actions, I'm 99.9% sure that I'm changing no one's mind who already has this perception of Tiger.

I'm more than a bit empathetic about people who are perceived incorrectly by the public.

As a child, I was constantly moving and, therefore, entering a new school as "the new girl". Each new school presented a new opportunity for me to be confronted with how others with no previous experience of me perceive me. As an adult, my environment is constantly changing as well. One thing I learned from each new experience is that people's subjective perceptions don't always match up with objective reality.

When I was 11, I attended a new school in a middle-class area with predominantly white students. Asians were the favored minority. There were very few black students.

At the beginning of the first period of my first day at a new school, I got in trouble with my P.E. teacher because I didn't have a uniform to wear (apparently, my mother was supposed to purchase one for me before I showed up on the first day). She told me to either pick a uniform from the lost and found bin or receive an "F" for the day. Since I didn't want to begin the new year with a "F", I chose picking the uniform and took my sweet time going through the bin of dirty clothing that I refused to wear, hoping to run the clock out.

The bin and I were located in the corner behind a tiled wall, so two giggling (white) girls who entered the locker room didn't see me. I heard them slamming doors and whispering but didn't pay what they were saying any attention. I was more focused on them not seeing me fishing around in a dirty clothing bin while half-naked. To make a long story short(er), I successfully managed to remain in the locker room for the entire period of the class. While the girls in the class were changing, someone started screeching about her missing lunch money. My P.E. teacher made a beeline to me and demanded that I return the money. When I told her that I didn't have the money because I didn't take the money, she gave me yet another ultimatum: either return the money or get written up and sent to the principal's office. Let's just say my trial was quick. Despite my defense that there were THREE of us in the locker room (which should've created a reasonable doubt in any unbiased person's mind), I was quickly found guilty and sent to the principal's office. During the first period of my first day at a new school.

To this day, I don't know if my P.E. teacher's bias against me was because of race or simply because she didn't have any prior experience with me to know that I would never steal anyone's money. It might have been a bit of both. The reason for her bias doesn't really matter, though. What matters is that she was biased and remained biased for the rest of my time in her class. Her perception (which also ended up tainting my schoolmates' perceptions) of me turned into my reality. From then on, I was known as the locker room thief and harassed by my P.E. teacher on a daily basis.

This is not an isolated event. As I already mentioned, I have been a fish living out of water most of my life so there have been countless similar witch-hunt experiences - at school, at work, at family reunions. As a result, I'm of the mindset that there's always an objective truth, regardless of whether it's subjectively perceived or not.

I'm using Tiger and myself as examples of how perception doesn't automatically equal reality, but I could list at least 10 more celebrities and many people in my life off of the top of my head that have a strong public perception - negative and positive - attached to them that can easily be cracked with a closer inspection of some objective facts.

But that rarely matters.

Why?

Because the real reality is that people believe what they want to believe, and don't believe what they don't want to believe. Facts, truth and reality be damned.

Questions: Is perception reality? How long does it take to make up your mind about a person, event or concept? After your mind is made up, does it take an act of God to change your perception? Or are you open to taking in more information, and possibly changing your mind? Have you ever been in a situation where others perceive you differently than you perceive yourself?

Related Posts:
Right v. Left: Are You Random or Reasonable?

Do You Wanna Know How People REALLY See You?
A Tiger Woods Holiday Poem

How An Earthquake Feels...

2010-01-13T09:00:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, there was a major earthquake in Port-Au-Prince, Haiti. It registered 7.0. For those who aren't familiar with earthquakes, that's HUGE.

I'm from California and, as you may know, we have earthquakes pretty regularly. Most of them are so small that we can't feel them. We had two of them just last week. They measured between 3.5 - 4.0. Those feel like you're standing near the gate when an airplane takes off from a runway. If you're under 25 years old, then you probably don't remember that feeling since we have extra tight airport security now. But still...that's how a small earthquake feels.

I wish I could say that I can only imagine how Haitians feel right now. But I can't. I know exactly how that feels. It's very scary to see everything literally fall apart around you, to not know what's going to happen next.

When I was 10, I experienced the Loma Preita earthquake of '89 that lasted 15 seconds and also measured 7.0 on the Richter scale. Basically, 7.0 feels like someone who weighs at least 200 lbs. is bouncing on the back of your car. Even though the quake and its aftershocks may last less than 15 seconds, it feels like time drags on forever.

Some of our infrastructure had been retrofitted after the massive San Francisco earthquake of 1906 in which the city essentially burned to the ground. But there was still millions of dollars' worth of damage in the Loma Prieta quake - collapsed buildings & highways, busted water pipes, burning cars...crushed people.

This is a 7.0 earthquake:

I'll walk you through:
Your electricity immediately goes off. If you're lucky enough to be at home, then you have to feel your way through darkness to find bear essentials like matches, candles, flashlights, water, batteries. If you don't have those things, then you have to depend on neighbors or, do like we did, drive to the grocery store. With no working streetlights or traffic signals. Be careful to avoid the car wreckage. When you get to the grocery store, it looks like a bomb exploded. The shelves are on the ground and people are just taking what they need. If you're unlucky enough to be at work or in any type of high-rise building, then you have to immediately try to remember everything you've been taught to do in elementary school (yes, every Californian has been doing earthquake drills since the age of 5) or risk getting crushed to death by heavy, flying objects.

All the while, you're trying to provide aid to injured people.

This is a rich, major city in the U.S. where we have aid like cops, firefighters, paramedics, etc.

Port-Au-Prince is not a rich major city in the U.S. They have none of these things that we take for granted.

The damage is extensive. From all accounts, what little bit of infrastructure existed has crumbled - hospitals, schools, houses, etc. Below is footage from Port-Au-Prince.

Warning: this footage is graphic.

President Barack Obama immediately responded with a promise to provide relief and aid to the Haitian people. This morning, he spoke on the tragedy:

THE PRESIDENT: Good morning, everybody. This morning I want to extend to the people of Haiti the deep condolences and unwavering support of the American people following yesterday's terrible earthquake.
We are just now beginning to learn the extent of the devastation, but the reports and images that we've seen of collapsed hospitals, crumbled homes, and men and women carrying their injured neighbors through the streets are truly heart-wrenching. Indeed, for a country and a people who are no strangers to hardship and suffering, this tragedy seems especially cruel and incomprehensible. Our thoughts and prayers are also with the many Haitian Americans around our country who do not yet know the fate of their families and loved ones back home.
I have directed my administration to respond with a swift, coordinated, and aggressive effort to save lives. The people of Haiti will have the full support of the United States in the urgent effort to rescue those trapped beneath the rubble, and to deliver the humanitarian relief -- the food, water and medicine -- that Haitians will need in the coming days. In that effort, our government, especially USAID and the Departments of State and Defense are working closely together and with our partners in Haiti, the region, and around the world.
Right now our efforts are focused on several urgent priorities. First, we're working quickly to account for U.S. embassy personnel and their families in Port-au-Prince, as well as the many American citizens who live and work in Haiti. Americans trying to locate family members in Haiti are encouraged to contact the State Department at 888/407-4747. I'm going to repeat that – 888/407-4747.
Second, we've mobilized resources to help rescue efforts. Military overflights have assessed the damage, and by early afternoon our civilian disaster assistance team are beginning to arrive. Search and rescue teams from Florida, Virginia and California will arrive throughout today and tomorrow, and more rescue and medical equipment and emergency personnel are being prepared.
Because in disasters such as this the first hours and days are absolutely critical to saving lives and avoiding even greater tragedy, I have directed my teams to be as forward-leaning as possible in getting the help on the ground and coordinating with our international partners as well.
Third, given the many different resources that are needed, we are taking steps to ensure that our government acts in a unified way. My national security team has led an interagency effort overnight. And to ensure that we coordinate our effort, going forward, I've designated the administrator of the U.S. Agency for International Development, Dr. Rajiv Shah, to be our government's unified disaster coordinator.
Now, this rescue and recovery effort will be complex and challenging. As we move resources into Haiti, we will be working closely with partners on the ground, including the many NGOs from Haiti and across Haiti, the United Nations Stabilization Mission, which appears to have suffered its own losses, and our partners in the region and around the world. This must truly be an international effort.
Finally, let me just say that this is a time when we are reminded of the common humanity that we all share. With just a few hundred miles of ocean between us and a long history that binds us together, Haitians are neighbors of the Americas and here at home. So we have to be there for them in their hour of need.
Despite the fact that we are experiencing tough times here at home, I would encourage those Americans who want to support the urgent humanitarian efforts to go to whitehouse.gov where you can learn how to contribute. We must be prepared for difficult hours and days ahead as we learn about the scope of the tragedy. We will keep the victims and their families in our prayers. We will be resolute in our response, and I pledge to the people of Haiti that you will have a friend and partner in the United States of America today and going forward.
May God bless the people of Haiti and those working on their behalf.
Thank you very much.

You can also help immediately by donating to the Red Cross to assist the relief effort. Contribute online here, or donate $10 to be charged to your cell phone bill by texting "HAITI" to "90999."
Families of Americans living in Haiti are encouraged to contact the State Department at 888-407-4747.

Source

Donate your old clothes by contacting Nate Erickson.
Other ways you can help Haiti here.
Write, tweet, call your elected representatives to request support here.

Remember: before donating, make sure that the organization is legitimate!!

To see more pictures, click here.

Loma Prieta earthquake aftermath footage:

The Non-Harry-Reid Race Stories That the Media Is Ignoring

2010-01-11T19:38:00.000-08:00

By now, you've heard about the race stories dominating today's political headlines.

But what about the ones the mainstream media is ignoring?

First, let's quickly recap what we're hearing ad nauseum.

1. Harry Reid's non-controversial, non-racist comments.

2. Michael Eric Dyson's stupid comments about race - or more specifically how Pres. Obama runs away from race every morning after shaving in the mirror...or something:

Maybe "Mr. Obama" should write a book or 20 about race to be considered "black enough" for Michael? Oh wait, "Mr. Obama" has written a book about race. Maybe "Mr. Obama" has a thing against beating the race horse to death.

But out of all of the screeching in the media about race, the REAL racial stories aren't being reported.

What the headlines SHOULD read:

'The First Black President' is a Racist

Bill Clinton helped sink his wife's chances for an endorsement from Ted Kennedy by belittling Barack Obama as nothing but a race-based candidate.
"A few years ago, this guy would have been getting us coffee," the former president told the liberal lion from Massachusetts, according to the gossipy new campaign book, "Game Change."
The book says Kennedy was deeply offended and recounted the conversation to friends with fury.
After Kennedy sided with Obama, Clinton reportedly griped, "the only reason you are endorsing him is because he's black. Let's just be clear." - NY Daily News

As a black person, this statement is far more offensive to me than any truth that Harry Reid uttered about then-presidential-candidate Barack Obama's good chances of winning a race as an articulate, light-skinned black man (he won, didn't he?). While Harry Reid has spent countless hours laboring to pass monumental civil rights and healthcare legislation, Bill Clinton speaks of fairy tale presidential runs and reminiscing about the good ol' days when a black president would've been fetching his coffee. Sounds like someone has a case of plantation-wishing to me. But where is this headline? Why aren't any of the black ~~pseudo-~~intellectual soul crew (West, Smiley, Dyson, Lacewell, Jackson, etc.) making the talk show rounds about THIS? Could it be that these stories aren't on their talking points memos (written by the people who sign their guest-spot checks)? Hmm...

Speaking of race news that isn't getting any publicity but deserves some shine...

Black Farmers Get $1.2 Billion in Reparations, Included in Obama Admin's 2010 Budget

President Barack Obama has allotted $1.25 billion in the FY 2010 budget to settle discrimination lawsuits by thousands of black farmers against the U.S. Department of Agriculture.
"This is an issue I worked on in the Senate, and I'm pleased that we are now able to close this chapter in the agency's history and move on," Obama said in a statement Wednesday. "My hope is that the farmers and their families who were denied access to USDA loans and programs will be made whole and will have the chance to rebuild their lives and their businesses." - Black Enterprise

This story is from June 2009. Yes, you read that correctly - JUNE 2009. Six whole months ago. Why are we just now learning about this? Why hasn't the mainstream media picked up on this? Is this not newsworthy enough for them? Where are the black nationalists who are always hollering about "think black, buy black, live black" and reparations? You would think a one-issue group would be on top of this type of story. Maybe they don't think $1.25 billion is a good enough reparations check? They wouldn't be alone...

Although he calls the settlement a “huge step in the right direction,” National Black Farmers Association President John Boyd said that more money is needed.
“We need around $2.7 billion to compensate all of the eligible farmers,” said Boyd. “We are appreciative that the administration is in dialogue with us, but as the advocate for [black farmers] I want to make sure there are enough funds to compensate all eligible farmers.”

The black farmers’ case named after one of the original plaintiffs, Timothy Pigford, a black farmer from North Carolina, was settled in 1999. The USDA agreed to pay farmers for past discrimination in lending and other USDA programs. Nearly $1 billion in damages were paid out on almost 16,000 claims, but nearly 75,000 additional black farmers filed their claims after the deadline. - Black Enterprise

Apparently, the settlement of the case is the result of some huge black farmer rally last year that ended a long, contentious 8 1/2 years battle. Yep, a huge rally of protesters that weren't called teabaggers and birthers. Who'da thunk it? Not me. Or the allegedly liberal MSNBC. Instead, we were inundated with the small percent of shouting matches at healthcare rallies.

But somehow the huge rally the NBFA held in front of USDA headquarters on April 28--the President's 100th day in office--is left out of the Wa Po piece. That rally helped Mr. Boyd's campaign reach the point of critical mass, and led to the inclusion of the Pigford reparation monies in the 2010 budget (In pic: Mr. Boyd, speaking at the 100th Day Rally). Read all about the dramatic morning in front of USDA here. - ObamaFoodaRama

The issue of the mainstream media being used as a propaganda machine isn't new news and has been covered here at Random Rhyme & Reason several times before. But I must ask this question again: why are we stuck listening to people like Michael Eric Dyson wax floetic about President Obama running away from race while he's helping people with issues in which race is a direct factor? I highly doubt that the "journalists" at CNN, MSNBC, ABC and FAUX NEWS are that bad at fact-checking dumbass opinions. Perhaps they need to hire some ace research assistants who can find their way around the Internets?

In other words, who do we have to climb into bed with to get some real damn news up in this piece?!

Related Posts:

"Dear Visionary"
"Dear Visionary (part 2)"
Obama's Dance
(Almost) Tired of Defending The Truth

Kwanzaa Time Is Here...Do We Celebrate It Or Not?

2009-12-29T11:13:00.000-08:00

Kwanzaa time is here

It's a happy time of year

To celebrate
Everything that we've done great

The Nguzo Saba

Loving our Mamas and Babas

Taking a firm stand

Struggling hand in hand

Kwanzaa time is here

It's a happy time of year

To celebrate

Everything that we've done great

Kwanzaa time is here...

It took me a few minutes to recall those words that I used to sing as a child with my schoolmates on every day of December (yes, somehow we were still in school on December 26) for 7 consecutive years. It's been awhile since I officially celebrated Kwanzaa...

Recently, there's been some talk around the global town that Kwanzaa shouldn't be celebrated because of the horrible crimes committed by its founder. While I do understand these sentiments, I don't connect Kwanzaa with Maulana Karenga. In fact, I had to go look up his name to finish that last sentence.

As regular Random Readers know, I attended a Pan-Africanist elementary school. Every year, my schoolmates (who were my extended family) and our friends and families would gather together to celebrate Kwanzaa. We performed African dances, skits, fashion shows, etc. around the Bay Area for various audiences - from senior citizens to Stanford University students. Each year, I enjoyed, and looked forward to, the rituals and traditions of the holiday.

However, as I grew older and my mom became more disillusioned with the Black Nationalist Movement because of the shadiness of the adults involved, she began distancing us from that community. As a child, I didn't understand why. I was angry that I lost what little bit of sense of family that I had. After my parents divorced and my dad moved from the Bay Area to Atlanta, GA, my mom essentially raised me as a single parent. Most of our blood relatives were over 3,000 miles away. That sense of inter-connectedness that I was taught was meaningful for me. I would probably be a completely different person without that foundation. I was my mother's only child, but I had over 50 brothers and sisters, 40+ sets of parents and tens of aunts and uncles. At the time, I resented being raised by a village. How can I get into some trouble (aka "have fun") if all eyes are on me at all times? After I graduated from my elementary school and moved over to public school, I finally tasted some of the craved autonomy and...it's completely overrated.

So that's what Kwanzaa means to me.

But what is Kwanzaa?

Here's a quote that beautifully defines Kwanzaa from "12 Kwanzaa Quotes To Celebrate This Magical Time Of Year":

"Kwanzaa isn't a replacement for Christmas or even Hanukkah. Kwanzaa has nothing to do with religion and while some may twist it to be political, in its nature it is not. Kwanzaa is not the tool of its creator. Kwanzaa has a life of its own. Kwanzaa is about the spirit of people -- all people regardless of color or race. Kwanzaa is a holiday of the human spirit -- not the divine. The two were meant to co-exist peacefully." ~ Author Unknown

Today is the 4th day of Kwanzaa. On the fourth day, we celebrate the fourth principle of the Nguzo Saba - Ujamaa, which means "Cooperative Economics" in Swahili.

Of the seven principles of the Nguzo Saba, this is one of my favorites because I'm all about harnassing the collective power of money to use for the good of our community. I define community as any group of which I'm a member: my social community, my racial community, my human community, my living community and so on. Celebrating Kwanzaa and the principles isn't, and doesn't have to be, limited to just African-Americans but I do have a wish that we can apply these principles to progress our cultural group.

If "Cooperative Economics" sounds like socialism to you, then you're not too far off the mark. Ujamaa is about pooling money and resources together to benefit the community. As anyone who has taken a high school government or a history class knows, government-enforced socialism taken to the extreme can lead to disastrous results. But "Cooperative Economics" practiced of a people's own free will can work beautifully. Even within a capitalistic society. So I tend to think of Ujamaa as building wealth together rather than sharing wealth equally regardless of the effort put in to building the wealth.

This concept speaks to African-Americans' original collectivist bent. We come from peoples who believed in communal living, in sharing the wealth...and it shows in our culture. Look at what we do with our elderly. I volunteer in senior citizen homes and, for the most part...we ain't there. Instead of dropping our parents and grandparents off in a facility, we take them in and care for them ourselves. They become a part of our nuclear family. Regardless of how we feel about them. Just look at our President as an example. When the Obamas moved into the White House, did they hire a nanny? No. They brought Michelle's mother in to help take care of Sasha and Malia. But that's probably just what they told her. You better believe that was also a way for them to keep their eye on Mama Robinson.

I was fortunate enough to have grown up with my grandmother. She moved in with us when I was 13 years old, left and then came back for good. Before moving in with us, she lived in Tennessee and I only visited her once or twice a year. Having her with me throughout high school and most of college was a blessing. She kept me rooted in a way that I wouldn't have been if not for her presence. Because of the tough economy, three generations of us are still pooling our resources together to do more than get by. My maternal side of the family practices "Cooperative Economics" all of the time. We take in each other's children if they aren't able to care for them for some reason. That's definitely spreading the financial responsibilities around. And we all benefit as a family. I can contrast this with my paternal side of the family that is very go-for-self. They are all over-achievers. And they have to be. Because they can rarely count on each other to help. And it shows in their health issues (which are probably a result of stress) and how hard it is to get us all together for a family reunion. But that's another story...

My point is that going it alone is overrated. And impossible. Show me a person who "pulled him/herself up by bootstraps" and I will show you someone else who helped that person somewhere in life. That "individualistic" philosophy is preached in America but is rarely practiced by any successful individual or group. We only have to look to other ethnic minorities who migrated to America to see how "Cooperative Economics" works well. And until we grasp this concept, we won't be able to progress.

I just read an interesting article about how Ujamaa is practiced in the hip-hop community. I don't know about you, but when I think of hip-hop, "Cooperative Economics" isn't the first concept that springs to my mind. But after some thought, I realized that it is practiced quite frequently by rappers:

[T]hose who are involved in the business end of hip-hop seem to be following in Gordy’s footsteps ... These present-day entrepreneurs are not just artists, they are part owners of the labels and they produce and create distribution deals that help them build and accumulate wealth. ... The real story is who these artists are and their ability to build viable, successful businesses with friends and family as supporters. The careers of Russell Simmons and Jay-Z illustrate this point. Each has started a small business that now includes recording labels, soft drink products, and clothing lines. Russell Simmons was president of Def Jam, perhaps the most well known if not most successful hip-hop label. Simmons is currently president of Rush communications. ... Simmons has sold off his interest in many of his companies for an estimated $400 million. It is said that Simmons is more successful than Barry Gordy was during his tenure in the music industry.

Simmons is also credited with creating the plan for business diversification that all hip—hop moguls have tried to emulate. None have followed in Simmons’ footsteps better than Jay-Z. Roc-A-Fella Records is one of the largest U.S. hip hop/rap record labels... The group could not secure a record deal for Jay-Z and began Roc-A-Fella out of frustration. The group began pressing records, selling them out of their trunks and requesting time on local radio. From that, Roc–A-Fella branched into other ventures, which included Rocawear clothing company; Roc4Kids, a community outreach program; and other ventures which include producing movies. Earlier this year, Jay-Z was named president and CEO of Def Jam Records and retained control of Roc-A-Fella. Jay-Z is one of the few African-American record label executives.

Ujamaa speaks to the ability to build and maintain our own stores, shops and other businesses and to profit from them together. A deeper exploration of Ujamaa teaches that within our immediate network of family and friends, someone has the ability to create businesses that will comfort, feed, clothe, entertain and house millions. - LaDonna Redmond, "Ujamaa, The Cooperative Economics of Hip-Hop"

There are more examples in the entertainment industry of what we can do when we pool our resources together: the dynamically succeessful duo Oprah Winfrey & Tyler Perry and triple threat trio Will Smith, Jada Pinkett & Jay-Z.

And by "resources", I don't mean just money. Let's face it, in these dire economic times many of us can't afford to scrape together an extra nickel to rub up against someone else's scraped-up nickel. But we may know somebody who knows somebody who...you get the picture. Social and professional business contacts are most definitely a valuable resource. If you know someone who can help someone else out, then by all means - introduce them! Don't hoard your circle. Most likely, others will appreciate this and return the favor. The very long list of popular social networking sites attest to how much people value enlarging and maximizing their social circles. Increasing your circle not only leads to great individual opportunities like jobs, growing businesses, and meeting potential romantic mates but also leads to an increased sense of community. We become invested in each other. And now we all care more about one another's well-being. When that happens, we're less likely to disrespect each other. Ujamaa can lower the crime in our communities, ya'll.

One of the ways I learn how valuable it is to share resources is by working on Organizing For America (formerly Obama For America). Little known secret: President Obama is cheap. While other presidential candidates were hooking their staff and volunteers up with the plushest of offices, we were told to make deals with local organizations, businesses and Obama supporters to get our hands on necessities such as housing, food, office space & equipment, meeting space, etc. As a community organizer, Barack Obama learned how to make a dollar out of fifteen cents. So that's what his organization trained us to do.

It was eye-opening to learn how much we can attain by figuring out who can give what. What many people don't know is that in political campaigning (or for any organization or business), in-kind donations are preferable to money donations. For example, if someone handed me a check for $20, I had to report and submit that check to Obama For America headquarters in Chicago, which was then pooled with other donations and most likely spent on national activities like commercials, renting townhall spaces, etc., which is a great use of the money. However, what about what we need on the ground? We would much prefer for that person to spend the $20 to feed our volunteers. Or we'd rather you bring an old printer to our campaign office.

We still use this concept for Organizing For America. A couple of weeks ago, we organized a volunteer training event at the local library. There was a mix-up that led to us not having the space in time for our scheduled event. Well, at the last minute, one of the volunteers "donated" the use of her office building where she works. It's a beautiful space for an organizational meeting. Now, we use that space regularly for events.

That's "Cooperative Economics". That's Ujamaa.

So maybe the question isn't "Should We Celebrate Kwanzaa?", but rather "How Do We Already Celebrate Kwanzaa In Our Everyday Lives Without Even Knowing It?"

Check out this trailer for "The Black Candle":

Narrated by Maya Angelou and directed by M.K. Asante, Jr., The Black Candle is a landmark, vibrant documentary that uses Kwanzaa as a vehicle to explore and celebrate the African-American experience.

A film by award-winning author and filmmaker M.K. Asante, Jr., The Black Candle is an extraordinary, inspirational story about the struggle and triumph of African-American family, community, and culture.

A longer trailer.

The Most Underrated R&B Artist of 2009

2009-12-27T14:06:00.000-08:00

You may have first heard her on "Love Jones"'s awesome soundtrack in 1997. You may have been excited when you heard that Jermaine Dupri signed her to SoSo Def Records in 1998. After three years and still no album, you may have been extremely disappointed that a talent like this wasn't championed. You may have settled for listening to her background vocals for Bobby Brown, Pebbles, Babyface, Mariah Carey, Toni Braxton, and BeBe & CeCe Winans. You may have scrounged on Napster ~~like a crackhead~~ looking for songs from her much-delayed debut album. You may have traveled 75+ miles to purchase the last copy of her 2nd CD.

Or maybe that's just me. It feels like it's just me. How Trina Broussard has been on the scene for over 13 years without a huge R&B fanbase is beyond my comprehension. Until she gets more promotion, R&B - in its current studio-manufactured, video-created, gossip-blog-driven, radio-friendly fluff state - is dead to me. One brilliant album from Maxwell this year after an 8-year hiatus isn't enough to revive my old friend.

Stating my case...

EXHIBIT A:

First of all, not many people even try to remake Minnie Riperton because it's just a foolish thing to do. Off the top of my head, I can only think of a couple of singers who tried and succeeded (see Shanice and Chante Moore). But in 1997, Trina put her own spin on "Inside My Love" that managed to outshine the wonderful (and fellow under-congratulated singer, Minnie Riperton). If she hadn't, trust, there would've been many "how dare she's!" thrown around the Soul-loving peanut gallery.

Minnie's classic version.

Trina's prettier version.

If you think it's easy for any talented singer to cover a Minnie song, check out Chante Moore's version of "Inside My Love".

Chante has a beautiful voice but Trina shows us how it's done.

EXHIBIT B:

For 5 minutes, Trina and a then-unknown 17 year-old Alicia Keys were both signed to SoSo Def Records. They both sang a version of "Why Do I Feel So Sad", a song that ended up on Alicia's debut album in 2001. As we all know, Alicia Keys is an R&B superstar best known for her rich, gospel-infused contralto, gifted tickling of the ivories, and ability to write moving lyrics and melodies. But, once again, Trina outsang an acknowledged great. Listen and judge for yourself:

In case you're not already familiar with Alicia's version...

I'll accept some debate over Trina's "Inside My Love" > Minnie's "Inside My Love" but case closed on Trina's "Why Do I Feel So Sad" > Alicia's "Why Do I Feel So Sad". When I heard Alicia's version, I was insulted that she would even attempt to sing Trina's song. Until I found out Alicia wrote it. Then I was just sad for her. But it's probably no skin off of Alicia's back since her ~~inferior~~ version is more well-known. *shaking my head* And moving on...

EXHIBIT C:

Trina is not a studio creation. I repeat, Trina is NOT a studio creation (*cough*JLo, Amerie, Ashanti, Rihanna, etc.*cough*). She sings just as well (if not better) live as she does after a producer and a sound mixer get involved.

Trina sings live at a jazz festival.

All of that right there and yet she still couldn't fit in on a live tribute to Chaka Khan that everybody and their mama hopped on? Music industry FAIL.

Just because I love to compare and contrast:

EXHIBIT D:

Ok, enough of comparing Trina to other soulful singers that I have no beef with. My point isn't to start R&B World War I up in here. So let's compare Trina to current R&B radio sensations that I do have beef with. How much would you pay to hear Keri "Can't Sing Live to Save My Life" Hilson cover anything of Trina's? More than free? You're better than me.

You may be thinking, "But what about Beyonce or Lady GaGa? They can probably cover Trina well!" Maybe. But this is what they came up with together, so I doubt it.

Is this really where R&B is heading? Even artists who can sing are resorting to gadgets and gimmicks meant to distract us from the ~~crappy~~ "music". SMH.

In conclusion, I am pleading my case on the behalf of my sanity and the survival of R&B - a genre that I love with all of my heart and soul (no pun intended):

Please tell me that we live in a world where someone like Trina Broussard can achieve some monetary and chart success. Actually, I should've written "live in a country" because Trina is appreciated overseas. Amazon's selling her 2004 import release - the one I drove 75 miles to buy (what? this was before mp3s were so readily available) - for almost $50. A used copy of Trina's 2002 imported debut album is selling for $190!! As any decent business student can tell you, pricing is considered an indication of the market's opinion. No comment.

Or you can listen to and purchase the non-import version of Same Girl for $12 here.

Note that of 33 reviews, 27 of them are perfect 5/5 stars. Naturally, I agree with the majority. No, I didn't write any of those 27 reviews. :P And, no, neither Trina nor anyone who is Trina-affiliated has paid me to endorse her.

The latest in Trina news:
A new album, Life of a Libra, was scheduled to release in 2009. Now it's just "coming soon!!!!".

As we all know, 2009 will be the past in less than a week. Yet no new album. I hope this isn't another case of a record label pushing an album's release date back so far that it falls off the shelves and through the cracks. Universal Motown is probably too busy investing in and promoting Young Money, Lindsay Lohan's lip-syncing self (click here & skip to 2:15 for hilarity) and Nick Cannon's new albums. :-/

If Universal Motown ever does get around to releasing Trina's new album, please support it. Or we may never hear another one from her. ~~And then I'll have to write a very sad/angry follow-up post.~~ That is all.

Check out other inexplicably slept-on music:
Lovesexy: Prince's Top 5 Underrated Post-80's Ballads
Why Haven't You Heard This Version of "Fields of Gold"?
This Song Is More Than "Good Enough"
Why Isn't This Artist In R&B Lover's Collection?

Lovesexy: Prince's Top 5 Underrated Post-80's Ballads

2009-12-25T22:13:00.000-08:00

To celebrate the end of the year and a decade, here's another Random Top (Insert Whatever Here) List. Enjoy!

I don't care how old Prince gets, he will always look like this in my head.

Anyone who knows me knows that I love me some Prince. My love affair with him began in 1984 when my father took me to see "Purple Rain". Because of my love for the soundtrack (I own at least 10 hard copies), I made sure to add every Prince album in my collection - including those that are older than me. Although my love for Prince is strong, over the years he has insisted on testing that love with some bullshiggity music that ranges from questionable to outright wackness. And the worst part about this is that we all know he can do better. Right around the time he changed his name to Artist Formerly Known As A Consistent Hitmaker, I began looking elsewhere for auditory stimulation - a one-album stand with D'Angelo, a rendezvous or two or three with Maxwell, a damn-near-elopement with Raphael Saadiq. But, like a lover who keeps the faith that things can be as good as they were during the honeymoon, I keep running back to one of my first true loves every time he whispers sweet nothings in my ear.

We all know that Prince knows how to seduce us with alternately sexy, scandalous or sweet lyrics (If there's a more romantic lyric than "If God one day struck me blind/Your Beauty I'll still see/Love is 2 weak 2 define/Just what U mean 2 me", then I haven't heard it. Ladies, imagine hearing that in your hubby's wedding vows.). But despite his reputation as a musical genius and expert at creating baby-making music, there are many Prince ballads that have escaped widespread attention. It's time for that to change.

So without further ado, here are some beautiful ballads that reclaimed my waning interest in Mr. Sexy Mutha(Shut yo mouf!) after he ran me away with his...experimental...music.

1. "Future Baby Mama" from "Planet Earth" (2007):

Prince's future baby mamas...from his past:

If you can tell these women apart, then you deserve a PhD in Cookie-Cutter Identification.

I've heard it said that my lovers look alike

Could it be that I was looking for you?

Sounds like Prince is finally discovering that he has a type. Congratulations on his self-awareness. He cleverly spins this opening line about his very obvious aesthetic bias into a very woo-worthy line: I know it's a bit creepy that you "fit the description" of all of my exes but they were just practice for me, like road maps that led me straight to you. ;) While listening to this song, I was reminded that we often tend to repeat patterns in relationships, including choosing people who remind us of people we have already dated. And really opens my eyes to a possible explanation for "love at first sight". Thematically, "Future Baby Mama" reminds me a bit of Boyz II Men's "Thank You In Advance". And it sounds like the musical cousin of his remake of the Stylistics' "Betcha By Golly Wow".

2. "She Loves Me For Me" from The Rainbow Children (2001)

With this one I can be what I wanna be
I don't have 2 live up 2 no one's fantasy
I could write another 300 melodies
2 her it's just 3, cuz this one, she loves me 4 me

With this one I don't even have 2 comb my hair
I can wear what I want 2 or nothing - she don't care
I don't even have 2 take her on the rollercoaster, see?
Cuz this one, this one, she loves me 4 me

Forget every other love song you thought you've heard. This jazzy sonic confection lays out how it feels to leave the infatuation stage and enter the love zone. In love, there's no pressure to be something more or less than we are, we can send our representative on a permanent vacation without fear of rejection, and recklessly murder those games that we play when our relationship needs aren't met. The style of this song is a huge departure from anything we've heard from Prince before or since. It remains one of my favorite tracks of his.

3. "The One"

Prince revisits his mid-to-late 80's style of marrying sex and romance and then gifting us with their baby in musical form. (Maxwell took good notes from the master.) Are you looking for a lover who won't treat you right? Prince is not "The One". (Translation: Goodbye, low self-esteem queens. Hello, women who can recognize a good man.) But if you're looking for a good song to initiate a night of lovin', then this is "The One". It's reminiscent of "Scandalous" from the Batman soundtrack.

4. "Extraordinary" from "The Vault: Old Friends 4 Sale" (1999):
In the mid-90's, The Artist Formerly Known As A Consistent Hitmaker seemed intent on turning out crap just to fulfill his record contract during a contentious legal dispute with Warner Bros. In the midst of lackluster material, this album full of "old-school" Prince tracks was like a meaty bone thrown to us fans starving for a taste of our beloved PRINCE. As a result of the issues with his record label, "The Vault" was under-promoted and one of his most underrated albums. Of the compilation of bluesy and jazzy songs, "Extraordinary" stands out as a beautiful ballad along the lines of "Adore". It's over entirely too soon.

5. "Somewhere Here On Earth" from "Planet Earth" (2007):

This recent performance speaks for itself. The man's still got it.

This list could go on...and on. But I'll stop here. It's too bad that Prince's new music is no longer considered "commercial" enough to get frequent airplay on "young" stations. (Who woulda thunk in the 1980's that Prince would be considered Easy Listening or Adult Contemporary (damn, I feel old)?) He still cranks out some gems every now and then. When he does, my long-ago crush is reignited. And I remain faithful.

What's your favorite Prince song? What do you think is Prince's most underrated song?

BONUS THROWBACK: Three greats on stage together in 1983. To put this in its proper perspective: this was Thriller/Little Red Corvette era - right before Purple Rain was released. Check out Prince trying to upstage Michael's cover of James with his stripper freakshow. SMH. R.I.P. James and Michael.

Related Posts:
The Top 10 Random Posts That You Should've Read In 2009

Right v. Left: Are You Random or Reasonable?

2009-12-22T23:00:00.000-08:00

Stare at the spinning lady and remember which way she turns: clockwise or counterclockwise. Got it? Now scroll down...

If you see this lady turning clockwise, you are using your right brain.
If you see her turning counter-clockwise, then you are using your left brain.
Some people do see it both ways, but most people see it only one way.
So which side of the brain are you using? And what does that mean?

According to funderstanding:

Experimentation has shown that the two different sides, or hemispheres, of the brain are responsible for different manners of thinking. The following table illustrates the differences between left-brain and right-brain thinking:

Left Brain (right-handed)		Right Brain (left-handed)
Logical Sequential Rational Analytical Objective Looks at parts		Random Intuitive Holistic Synthesizing Subjective Looks at wholes

Most individuals have a distinct preference for one of these styles of thinking. Some, however, are more whole-brained and equally adept at both modes. In general, schools tend to favor left-brain modes of thinking, while downplaying the right-brain ones. Left-brain scholastic subjects focus on logical thinking, analysis, and accuracy (e.g. match, science, composition). Right-brained subjects, on the other hand, focus on aesthetics, feeling, and creativity (music, creative writing, art, design).

LEFT BRAIN FUNCTIONS
uses logic
detail oriented
facts rule
words and language
present and past
math and science
can comprehend
knowing
acknowledges
order/pattern perception
knows object name
reality based
forms strategies
practical
safe

RIGHT BRAIN FUNCTIONS
uses feeling
"big picture" oriented
imagination rules
symbols and images
present and future
philosophy & religion
can "get it" (i.e. meaning)
believes
appreciates
spatial perception
knows object function
fantasy based
presents possibilities
impetuous
risk taking

Which group is easier for you to remember?

When you meet new people, is it easier to remember their names or faces?

If you picked numbers or names, then you're most likely a left-brained person.
If you picked shapes or faces, then you're most likely a right-brained person.

Taking this test confirmed for me something I intuitively knew at a very young age: I'm abnormal. I just don't see the world the same way as most people. You've probably heard the saying "thinking outside the box", right? Well, it takes effort for me to fit my thinking inside the box.

When I look at the woman spinning, she doesn't stay in one direction for longer than 2 seconds and I can make her spin the other way at will. To my mind's eye, she looks like a ballerina on crack. At an early age, I discovered that I'm ambidextrous:

Ambidexterity is the state of being equally adept in the use of both right and left appendages (such as the hands). It is one of the most famous varieties of cross-dominance. People that are born ambidextrous are extremely rare. Some people may be able to teach themselves to be ambidextrous, by practicing equally with both hands. (snip)

In modern times, it is more common to find people considered ambidextrous who were originally left handed, and who learned to be ambidextrous either deliberately or during childhood in institutions such as schools where right-handed habits are often emphasized. Also, since many everyday devices (such as can openers, scissors, guitar, etc.) are asymmetrical and designed for right-handed people by default, many left-handed people learn to use them right-handedly due to rarity or lack of left-handed models. - Wikipedia

As the title of this blog suggests, I'm proof that it's possible to be both random (right-brained) and reasonable (left-brained) at the same time - contrary to popular belief.

I have noticed that when I'm having a disagreement with someone, it's usually because we're not on the same "brain page". I'm thinking intuitively while they're thinking rationally, or vice versa. When I'm in the mood (or when my paycheck is on the line), I make the effort to switch to their side of the brain to speak their language.

However, despite being ambidextrous, I consider myself to be more of a right-brained person. Let me tell ya, it ain't easy being a right-brained person living in a left-brained world.

Many "conspiracy theorists" are right-brained people. We easily connect dots between seemingly unrelated information to arrive at a conclusion that left-brained people view as nonsense. Inevitably, the solely left-brained person asks for a logical explanation but no explanation will be good enough for them. Because they will never understand the logic of a right-brained person.

A good example: President Obama. After discussing him with many people, I have come to the conclusion that people who are solely left-brained-oriented will never understand/approve of President Obama's strategies/tactics. They demand hard proof that he's moving through his stated agenda. However, no matter how much evidence you show them, they still "don't see it" because he's not moving through it in an obvious sequential manner (it's called multitasking), whereas people who are viewing him with a right-brained orientation can connect his action "dots" and then extrapolate to see how his present actions are setting the stage for the future. I don't think it's a coincidence that most people can't see what he's doing:

Don't worry if I write rhymes, I write checks!

Like most lefties, he effortlessly thinks outside of the box. And no matter how many different ways he tries to explain himself, some left-brained/right-handed people just. don't. get. it. They just don't get how you can move laterally and even backwards, yet still be moving forward...and can travel across relative mountains that way (think: like a crab). But until they see it with their own sequential-impaired eyes, I guess us lefties/right-brainies will remain "kool-aid drinkers". [ Astrological note: The crab is the symbol of Cancer and is noted for it's ability to move stealthily in every direction while plotting its forward advance. President Obama happens to have his Mars in Cancer. Maybe I can "see" his sideways walk because crab recognize crab. LOL)]

This post is inspired by two conversations that I just had: 1.) with a fellow ambidextrous person and 2.) with the Twitterverse that is full of all kinds of people. Now, obviously, my fellow ambidextrous friend and I see exactly what Pres. Obama is doing and had a good time mapping out possible paths for him to take. This was also a fun game for us to play during the presidential campaign. More times than not, we were correct in our "random" "guesses". At one point, I was exhausted from campaigning and worried about viral rumors about Candidate Obama and asked my hair stylist (an extreme right-brainer) whether or not he would win. Her response: "Oh he's gonna win. I feel it. Don't worry about these lunatics. It's meant for him to win." Now, this explanation wasn't enough for my left-brained side but it did make my right-brained side feel better. In the 13 years that I have known her, the facts usually back up her "feelings".

So now I'm wondering if Obama's biggest critics are left-brained or right-brained...Are they not getting the facts that prove he can manage Congress reasonably well? (Even though he has a 95%+ win rate in Congress (even higher now) - something that hasn't been done in 50 years - some people are still calling him stupid, sell-out, etc.) Or is their intuition telling them that their president doesn't know what he's doing because his actions just don't feel right to them?

Remember that Congress is mostly made up of ambitious, power-hungry, perk-happy people who are resistant to change and progress if it means negatively impacting them (which it usually does mean if it positively impacts the middle and lower classes). The reason why Pres. Obama does well with this group of bastards is because he studied them while he was a Senator. He was able to get a lot of substantial bills through as a junior U.S. Senator because of his excellent (and, apparently, under the table) strategy. Frankly, I don't understand when people can't see what he's doing. He does the same thing over and over again. SMH. From what orientation are they viewing him?

So at this point, when I recognize that I'm speaking with someone who is on a different "brain page" than me, I exit the conversation. To continue the discussion/argument at that point is useless.

So which side of the brain do you favor? Do you need cold, hard facts before you believe something? Does your tried-and-true "gut" guide you? Or are you like me - using both sides of your brain before coming to a conclusion?

Here's another test (nice and sequential for you left-brained people with lots of directions):

Directions: Get a blank sheet of lined paper. Every time you read a description or characteristic that applies to you, write down its number on the blank sheet of paper. There is no certain number of characteristics you must choose. After you are done, click here to view the key. Next to every number on your paper, write whether it was a L or an R. Count up the number of L's and R's. Whichever number is higher represents your dominance. If the numbers are close, that means you use both sides of your brain equally.

I constantly look at a clock or wear a watch
I keep a journal or diary of my thoughts
I believe there is a either right and wrong way to do everything
I find it hard to follow directions precisely
The expression "Life is just a bowl of cherries" makes no sense to me
I frequently change my plans and find that sticking to a schedule is boring
I think it's easier to draw a map than tell someone how to get somewhere
To find a lost item, I try to picture it in my head where I last saw it
I frequently let my emotions guide me
I learn math with ease
I'd read the directions before assembling something
People tell me I am always late getting places
People have told me that I'm psychic
I need to set goals for myself to keep me on track
When somebody asks me a question, I turn my head to the left
If I have a tough decision to make, I write down the pros and the cons
I'd probably make a good detective
I learn music with ease
To solve a problem, I think of similar problems I have solved in the past
I use a lot of gestures
If someone asks me a question, I turn my head to the right
I believe there are two ways to look at almost everything
I have the ability to tell if people are lying or guilty of something, just by looking at them
I keep a "to do" list
I am able to thoroughly explain my opinions in words
In a debate, I am objective and look at he facts before forming an opinion
I've considered becoming a poet, a politician, an architect, or a dancer
I always lose track of time
When trying to remember a name I forgot, I'd recite the alphabet until I remembered it
I like to draw
When I'm confused, I usually go with my gut instinct
I have considered becoming a lawyer, journalist, or doctor

Source

A gift from someone tryna get on my "right" side. It worked. :)

A Tiger Woods Holiday Poem

2009-12-22T11:10:00.000-08:00

Haven't heard your fill of Tiger jokes today? Well, here's another one that brings an entirely new meaning to "Ho ho ho!!"

Disclaimer: I did not write nor do I endorse the views expressed in this poem. But I sure did laugh at it.

via email:

'Twas the night of Thanksgiving
and out of the house
Tiger Woods, he came flying
Chased by his spouse.

She wielded a 9 iron
And wasn't too merry
'cause a bimbo's phone #
she found on his blackberry.

He had been cheating
On poor little Elin,
and as each day went by
Another whore came out squealin'

He'd been on Holly, on Jamie
On Rachel, on Corey,
On Joslyn, Kaleeka
TMZ had the story.

From the top of the world
To above the fold
Tiger's ever more sordid
Tale it was told.

With hostesses, waitresses
He had lots of sex,
And when he wasn't hosin' 'em
He sent 'em hot texts.

He crashed his Caddie
But didn't call On-Star
He played "spank me Daddy'
With a skanky old porn star

He's been naughty
With Santa, he hasn't a chance,
'cept a big lump of coal
to match the lump in his pants.

But despite all his crying
And begging and pleadin'
His wife went right out
And bought a new house in Sweden.

And I heard her exclaim
As she packed up the escalade
'If you're gonna get laid,
Then, I'm gonna get paid!"

Now, she's not pouting
In fact, she's of good cheer
Her Pre-nup made Christmas
Come early this year!

The Top 10 Random Rhyme & Reason Posts of 2009

2009-12-21T16:48:00.000-08:00

So it's that time of year where people drag out their best "Best Of" and "Top This and That" lists of 2009. And I'm no different.

December 2009 not only marks the end of a decade but it's also the sixth-month anniversary of Random Rhyme & Reason. Thanks for sharing in this journey with me. I've come a long way from debating whether or not to push "Publish" for the first time. I appreciate all of the feedback that you've given me in the past 6 months. Here's to more discussions with you in 2010! *clink*

So in honor of this special occasion, let's review your favorite posts and mine.

First up, we have the most frequently visited and/or discussed Random Rhyme & Reason posts.

Your Top 10 Favorite Random Posts

1.Black Children Need Their Own Schools?

2.Good Hair, Black Hair

3.Shining the Spotlight on Black Summers' Night (a review)

4."Dear Visionary"

5."Dear Visionary (part 2)"

6.Was Malcolm X Bisexual? And Why It Matters to African-Americans

7. Dear Deadbeat Dads: I Believe You Can Change

8. Lovesexy: Prince's Top 5 Underrated Post-80's Ball...

9. Kwanzaa Time Is Here...Do We Celebrate It Or Not?

10. Random Thoughts During "The Princess & the Frog" and "Avatar"

And last, but not least, here are some of my favorite posts of 2009. Have you read them?

My Top 10 Favorite Random Posts

1. I prejudge. Therefore I Am?
I participated in a Harvard study called Project Implicit that tests our unconscious biases. Find out how I really feel about skin color, race, age, weight, and 2008 presidential candidates. Then test yourself.

2. Love Revisited / "Love by Definition"
A sequel to "Love Rules" , this was the first poem I published for Random Rhyme & Reason. Reflections on past romantic relationships led me to finally create my own definition of love.

3. "Proclamation of No Emancipation"
The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that convicts are not constitutionally allowed to receive DNA testing when appealing a case. This news is very close to my heart for several reasons. I shared one of those reasons in this post.

4. The N*Word: Reclaim or Disown?
There are two types of African-Americans: those that want to reclaim the n*word and those that want to disown the n*word. Which one should we do?

5. "Gone Too Soon" (R.I.P. Michael)
This is the day that music died. We've had other musical legends pass over - Elvis Presley, Bob Marley, Sammy Davis, Jr., James Brown - but none of them made as much of an impact on today's music as Michael Jackson. He was my first love. And this was my tribute to him.

6. Inspired like never before, I went on a poetry-writing spree for awhile...

"Hello" - An intimate moment...that stays on my mind.
"Win/Win" - 2 poems about how to heal relationships from a female and male perspective.
"The Interview" - Dating is like a job interview.
"I Don't Believe in Fairy Tales" - Inherent idealism wars with the cynicism gained from life experience.
"A Beautiful Standard" - Appreciating a different type of beauty.
"The Emotion Formerly Known As..." - the least understood emotion
"Hope" - Hope rules.
"Trust" - I have issues. This is one of them.
"Faithful" - And here's another one.
"The Mask (Part 1)" - The first poem I ever shared with anyone. Ironically, about built-up walls.
"The Mask (Part 2)" -Written 6 years later, this is a sequel that shows my personal growth process about sharing the side of myself that I usually keep hidden.

7. 9/11: Reminiscing & Reflecting

Eight years ago on September 11, 2001, I was about to board my flight home after attending the World Peace Conference against Racism, Racial Discrimination, Xenophobia and Related Intolerance in Durban, South Africa when I heard the news about the terrorist attacks. This is my answer to the "where were you on 9/11?"

8. Tongue-in-cheek companion pieces about improving communication skills (partially inspired by my experience as a grassroots campaign worker/volunteer discussing the most taboo subjects with thousands of people):

The Lost Art of Listening - What happened to our ability to listen to each other? Do you recognize these 5 Bad Listeners? Are YOU one of these 5 Bad Listeners?
5 Foolproof Ways to Start An Argument (1/2)
5 Foolproof Ways to End An Argument (2/2)

9. New Rule: Don't Raise An "Other People's Kid"
A friend asked me to be a godmother to her unborn child and I transcribed my inner dialogue. Warning: This one's tongue-in-cheek.

10. My Dream Job
My dream job is to improve this world - one child at a time. If it takes me having to reach them through the use of "Stanky Leg" as an instructional video, then that's what I'll do. Warning: Yet another tongue-in-cheek one.

Ok, you got me. It was more than 10 posts. More like 10 posts including a couple categories of posts. But aren't you glad I squeezed these under-the-radar posts in?

If you like this blog, catch up on the posts that you may have missed in 2009 and share it with a friend in 2010.

What's your favorite Random Rhyme & Reason post?

POLL: For bloggers, who do you blog for?

2009-12-20T16:27:00.000-08:00

I just finished an irritating yet enlightening conversation via Twitter with a former favorite blogger of mine. In my opinion, she wrote a remarkably naive post about how she can choose to be a victim by being insulted at being called a "nigger" or not. I get her point: that we can choose how to respond to someone, and that choice can be to view it from a victim's point of view or not. I'm actually a proponent of getting away from the victim mentality, because it's self-perpetuating. However, her conclusion seemed to lack awareness of the weight of the word "nigger", as if it's on the same level as being called a pumpkin-head. And it's so not. It also doesn't help matters that her blase attitude might...just might...be because she's Italian and not...you know...the popularly used definition of "nigger". (I wrote a post about using the "n-word" where I examined why it's so emotionally charged and posed the question whether we should claim or disown it?)

My subsequent conversation with the blogger involved her explaining that she can't write to anticipate offending everyone, which I can understand. But at what point are you writing authentically vs. writing blissfully oblivious of the impact of your words or un-nuanced point of view? As the saying goes: there's someone out there for everyone. If one reader doesn't enjoy your blog, then the next one will...or at least might. So it's necessary for a writer to write from his or her own truth but...where do you draw the line between being authentic and being antisocial? I think, if many bloggers were being honest with themselves, that line would be drawn at a mass reader exodus. Or worse, the lack of any substantial readership at all. All bloggers are people who feel the need to journal our thoughts and experiences. What separates us from those who only journal privately is that we want to involve the reader on our internal journey. In other words, we value public discourse and feedback (for whatever reason). If not, we'd keep all of our thoughts in our head. As much as I write and share with others, I keep even more to myself. But what I do share is just that - something I wish to share with others. I want to provide a value to my readers, not just to myself. Regular Random Readers know that this blog is a new experiment in sharing some of my previously private thoughts with the public.

As I type these words, I'm thinking of how this private v. public and write for myself v. write for others can be explained astrologically. But I'll save that for my other blog.

So now I turn this over to you. Fellow bloggers, I'm curious: Who do you write for?

You can respond by clicking here , on the right side of this blog or in the comments section below.

Btw, my convo with my former favorite astrological blogger was wrapped up like this:

jazzzyone: @ElsaElsa I know what you MEANT. I'm not judging your intent. I'm explaining to you how your words are RECEIVED. Again, 2 diff things.

jazzzyone: @ElsaElsa You just named a caveat. What's offensive is subjective, no? I'm explaining why it's offensive. Whether u choose to care is on you.

elsaelsa: @jazzzyone I can sincerely apologize for offending you and understand why you are offended but you have taken meaning unintended.

elsaelsa: @jazzzyone Unintended, and since lots of people read, I can't write so that no one will ever be offended or I will be crippled.

elsaelsa: @jazzzyone I have just got to be myself.. I write about my experiences and people parse them. I never mean to hurt anyone.

elsaelsa: @jazzzyone and if this is what this is about - hurt - then I am sorry. Really. But would write what I wrote the same way

jazzzyone: @ElsaElsa Well, I accept your apology (on behalf of black people *joke*). But I can be offended & @ same time know that's not your intent.

jazzzyone: @ElsaElsa I apologize if I came at you harshly. I think it was out of huge disappointment bc I really respect your astro skills. ·

jazzzyone: @ElsaElsa And I don't expect someone as insightful as you to not anticipate certain weights of your words. That part is on me, I guess.

elsaelsa: @jazzzyone Everyone is disappointed in me eventually. It comes with the territory, I think.

elsaelsa: @jazzzyone you can feel anything you want. I can write what I want and deal with the consequences.

jazzzyone: @ElsaElsa I'm sure you would write it the same way. You are writing your truth & I expect that from you. I'm just sad that it's your truth.

jazzzyone: @ElsaElsa I just don't see you the same way anymore, which, ironically, IS what Neptune is about...rather than your post topic.

elsaelsa: @jazzzyone I try to have integrity and not insult ANYONE by writing in a way that is... you know because you read me

elsaelsa: @jazzzyone I'll say it again: I swear you mistake what my "truth" is.

Jazzzyone: @ElsaElsa Listen, Elsa, I won't deny you your truth, so don't deny me mine. If I'm wrong, then I'm wrong. But I don't think I am...

elsaelsa: @jazzzyone that I was able to hold your attention for 2 years is saying something. I'll take that away from this.

jazzzyone: @ElsaElsa Also take away that readers are part of the blogging process, so their experience of you matters...

jazzzyone: @ElsaElsa If you wanna be the speaker&listener, then you can journal to yourself but you write a public blog, so reader is part of process.

jazzyone: @ElsaElsa That was my point about communication. It's not just abt speaker's intention but listener's interpretation too. BOTH are "true".

elsaelsa: @jazzzyone well my wrist is throbbing and I have a client in 8 minutes so...

jazzzyone: @ElsaElsa Goodbye.

elsaelsa: @jazzzyone ::waves:: :)

The thing about this particular blogger is that she is constantly offending people in a massive way but I stuck by her - dividing the crudeness from the valuable astrological insights and reading faithfully for the past two years. Most of the time, I ignore what offends me in her writings. Other times, I write a quick response just to have another POV on record. My final straw, though, was when she inserted a political opinion about President Obama into a post about something completely unrelated to politics or Obama. I thought I was gonna read about how to love and BAM! She does a sneak attack by purposefully misrepresenting one of Obama's famous quotes to prove her point. But I put that one aside. Now it's "nigger" is no big deal. Stop feeling bad about it and let it roll off of your back. Ok...that would be better received in the context of coming from a fellow black person who I know understands what it's like to be treated like a nigger consistently throughout life rather than an Italian who was simply mistaken for one a couple times. Boo hoo.

To read a full recap of the conversation, visit search.twitter.com and type in "Jazzzyone". Then follow the conversation with "ElsaElsa".

Random Thoughts During "The Princess & the Frog" and "Avatar"

2009-12-19T22:58:00.000-08:00

Today my friend and I took our inner children to see a...*ahem*...double feature: "The Princess & the Frog" and "Avatar". Instead of doing traditional reviews, I'll just share with you my random thoughts during the movie that I wanted to tweet but didn't because that would've meant missing crucial parts of both films. In other words, you should come with empty bladders and arms full of snacks before you sit down.

Disclaimer: The Little Mermaid is my standard for Disney "princess" stories. And "The Lion King" is my standard for non-princess Disney stories.

Warning: mild plot spoilers.

"The Princess & the Frog"

Hello, First Black Woman in a Disney Film With a Perm. Truly historical.

I'm hearing Terence "Baby Wipes" Howard's voice but I'm seeing Tiana's big, strong coffee-with-a-little cream father. Does not compute.

Speaking of...congrats, Disney, for not making James a deadbeat daddy. *throwing confetti* Now that we have two highly visible black men who didn't ditch their responsibilities, I vote for The Black Family Man to become a new stereotype.

Uh oh, do we have another Veruca Salt on our hands? Yes, yes we do.

Someone at Disney is trying to sneak in some socio-economical points on the sly about spoiled white princesses and hard-working black women who pay the black tax. Well done, sneaky black person. Well done.

Loving the multiculturalism. It's been 5 minutes and I've already seen at least 3 different races represented with different shades of each. Progress.

A middle-eastern Prince? And no terrorism jokes? Progress or political correctness? You decide.

There are a lot of jokes about big asses...on men. Regress.

(I counted 4 big-ass jokes about big asses but I probably missed some little-ass jokes.)

Never trust a Creole man in a purple outfit...with purple eyes to match.

I prefer the cartoon version of Anika Noni Rose.

Why does the black "princess" and middle-eastern prince have to spend most of the movie in non-human form? Well, I guess that's an upgrade from The Lion King. Who was Disney trying to fool with that one? We all know Mufasa and Simba are black and were Hakuna Matata-ing in Africa. But if that was explicitly mentioned, then maybe it wouldn't hold the record as the highest grossing traditionally animated film in history.

Either this movie is hilarious or the man in front of us is extremely drunk.

Meet my maternal grandmother (aka Mama Odie).

Dear Parents: Don't be surprised if your kids won't let you kill any bugs after seeing this movie.

I miss Nell Carter. She would've done a great job as one of these characters.

This movie made me wanna revisit New Awlins for the food!! The music!! The culture!!

On to the next one!

Warning: Absolutely no plot spoilers because it's impossible to spoil the plot of this movie.

"Avatar"
(Did they mean Summer in South Africa?)

So this is basically animated Dances With Wolves meets The Neverending Story...on 'Shrooms.

Gorgeous special effects aside, we've seen this plot countless times before: white man explores new culture, falls in love with new culture, battles old culture using skills he's learned in new culture. (If you've seen Dances With Wolves, Last of the Mohicans, The Last Samurai, Iron Man, etc. then I'm sure you can guess how this will end.)

I just saved you 3.5 hours of your life. You're welcome.

If you're looking for a movie with lots of plot twists, then this ain't the one for ya. But if you feel like seeing a summer blockbuster in the winter, "Avatar" is worth the price of admission. If you enjoy feeling high, then this is definitely your movie. I don't smoke weed but I hear a movie ticket is cheaper than a bag of bud these days...You know those movies where the special effects are so good that they still look dope 20 years later? This is one of those movies.

If you liked these "reviews", show your appreciation by gifting me with a Princess Tiana doll for Christkwannukah:

Since times are hard and your holiday budget might be stretched to the max - what with buying your family gifts and all - I also accept your comments as gifts. :) Have you seen "The Princess & the Frog" or "Avatar"? What did you think? Any other movies on your must-see list for the holiday season?

Check out my reviews for these two movies from an astrological point of view here.

Why Haven't You Heard This Version of "Fields of Gold"?

2009-12-16T11:18:00.000-08:00

I know what you're thinking: how can a song that is one of Sting's most beloved songs from one of his most beloved albums be underrated? And you're right. Sting's "Fields of Gold" isn't underrated at all. But Eva Cassidy's version is tragically underrated. Shoot, anything from Eva Cassidy is under-appreciated because not enough people know about this woman's beautiful, crystal clear voice. In fact, Eva Cassidy, born in 1963, became more well-known after her death at 33 years old:

Although she had been honored by the Washington Area Music Association, she was virtually unknown outside her native Washington, DC when she died of melanoma in 1996. - Wiki

Any one of her beautiful covers of classics - "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", "Time After Time", "Bridge Over Troubled Waters", "Imagine" and "People Get Ready" (her version will convince you she marched on Washington and was one of the abolishinists helping blacks along the Underground Railroad) - could have been chosen for this post. But I'm going with "Fields of Gold" because all of those aforementioned songs have been covered to death (to the point where it takes even the most devoted music fanatic a few seconds to think of who originally sang them). But it takes real guts to cover a Sting song - and cover it well. Others have tried and ~~should be shot for trying~~ come up short.

According to Wiki, Sting wrote "Fields of Gold" after buying a house near a field of barley (as the lyrics indicate):

You'll remember me when the west wind moves
Upon the fields of barley
You'll forget the sun in his jealous sky
As we walk in the fields of gold

Seems like such a personal experience, right? So how does Eva make her version sound as if she wrote this from her heart? Talent and soul. It's hard not to compare a cover to an original, so let's go ahead and do that...

Sung in his uniquely recognizable voice perfectly suited for any relaxation spa or muzak translation, Sting's original version is an invitation to a lover to frolic in an open field. I dare you not to sway or snap your fingers while listening to this version.

Then Eva comes in and changes the entire mood of the song while remaining faithful to the original vocal arrangement. In her hands, "Fields of Gold" becomes less of an invitation and more of a plaintive plea to a lover to stay. The "Fields of Gold" becomes both a promise and a bribe. I dare you not to reminisce on past lovers while listening to this version. And did I mention that Eva sang this live while playing the guitar? Yep, she's definitely underrated.

Luckily, she left us with an extensive collection of her work. Listen to or purchase her music here.

While you're here, check out other underrated music:
Track: "Good Enough"
Artist: Syleena Johnson

But first, listen to Eva's "Fields of Gold". What do you think?

Random Stuff I Love: Deep Poetry

2009-12-16T01:25:00.000-08:00

"Poetry is life distilled." ~ Gwendolyn Brooks

I recently discovered a wonderful poetess by the name of Sumayyah. It's common for me to come across someone who can cleverly unite words to elicit a chuckle or a hmm from me. But it's very uncommon for me to be truly moved by someone's words. I'm surrounded by pseudo-intellectuals and synthentic consciousness...so it's nice to find someone who goes beyond the obvious and cliched "deepness" (how many times have we heard a variation of "the beautiful struggle" or Maya's "Still I Rise"?). Many imagine themselves to be wordsmiths because they have a natural glibness or a fabulous vocabulary, but not many have actually mastered translating life for us. It takes a true student of life to come up with original thoughts...or at least an original way of expressing unoriginal thoughts. Sumayyah is obviously a student of life. Who takes excellent notes. And does her homework.

Here are a couple of my favorite recent poems from her (republished here with permission):

Dirty Little Secret

lost my pristine wings
when grace was rescinded
there’s no mercy for the likes of me
made to wander
as a flightless bird
cursed and marked
blessed and clean
i live among The Fallen
and rest among The Meek
hoping to inherit the Earth
cross and crescent
burned into my palms
six-pointed star on my face
third eye blind
chakras misaligned
double-headed snake tattoo
dancing on my arm
suffering the fate of perpetual scorn
i’m an outcast
and i’m outclassed
by my people
i’m bottom of the barrel
the nightmare you hate to dream
the nappy-headed step-child
you wished remained unseen
if you could lock me away
bury me beneath the sand
no matter the consequences
i believe you’d take that chance
you walk to the bass beat
feeling threatened by
my kettle and snare
my high hat makes you flinch
while you whisper
i shout
and you sleep while i dance
you close your eyes
and turn away
when i sing and clap my hands
individuality
that’s a shameful word
struck from your
vocabulary
conformity
is not in mine
can we agree
to
disagree
because i refuse to run away
hang my head
hide my face
or walk the shadows anymore
i will linger
letting my existence fester like a sore
until you see
what you need to see
me

Double Talk

like may call to like
but i sure don’t like you
with your painted mask
resembling a clown
you ain’t nothing
but a mystery to me
one i don’t have
the patience to solve
you cry when i bleed
giggle when i starve
and blame only me
when i’m living in the dark
you take
as much as you give
i have to reach deep
to find sympathy when you fall
i’d offer my hand
but you cut it off
when you failed to approve
the meals that i served
i am tired
so tired
of both of your mouths talking
both of your tongues wagging
at different speeds
as you seek to uplift
and destroy

If you like these pieces, check out more of Sumayyah's work here. And let her know you appreciate her gift.

15 Random Things That Being Sick Has Taught Me

2009-12-12T23:05:00.000-08:00

Last week, ~~like an idiot~~ I decided that a cold wintery Sunday was a perfect day to take a stroll to attend a Congressional District Neighborhood Team Lead Meeting. I was bundled up as well as any self-respecting snow(wo)man would be: leggings, jeans, t-shirts, sweaters, Puffy coat with a hood, Puffy boots with thick socks. But I forgot my scarf and gloves. A rookie mistake. And it has caught up with me. For the past few days, I have been recovering from - in order of least painful to most painful - a stuffed nose, fever, sore throat and an impacted wisdom tooth. So far, here are 15 random things that being sick has taught me:

1. Rain is only romantic when experienced from the inside of a cozy, heated room. With a cuddle buddy. Or a good book.

2. I enjoy my own company.

3. Vitamin C is more nurturing than my mom.

4. Aspirin is a helluva drug.

5. Procrastination is my worst enemy. (First thing on my "Things To Do When I Get Better" list is replace the pair of gloves and scarf that were stolen from me a few years ago that I didn't think was a big deal in California. 2nd thing - Get these damn wisdom teeth pulled. I have been getting "wiser" for 10 years now. :-/)

6. "Wisdom teeth" is a misnomer.

7. I like baby food. A lot. (If you love me, you'll include one of these in your care package. I am so serious.)

8. Becoming a multimillionaire is just one good idea (or one good blog) away. And nothing energizes haters like success.

9. Hulu , Youtube and Netflix are my real best friends.

10. Charlie Murphy has an incredibly ignorant and offensive sketch show. That's also kinda funny when you've taken more than 2 aspirins at a time:

11. Roseanne was a hilarious show.

12. Bobby Brown is the hardest working crackhead in the history of crackheads. Why is he a brand new baby daddy? And most importantly, why is he on Bill Bellamy's "Who's Got Jokes" singing "My Prerogative" and sounding terrihorrible? The days of mildly sexy Bobby are over.

13. Good health is underrated. Until you're sick.

14. I empathize with those who request (and practice) euthanasia. A life spent trapped in a pain-riddled body is not a life worth living.

15. Laughter truly is the best medicine:

"White Collar": A Portrait of a Smooth Criminal

2009-12-10T10:12:00.000-08:00

He wouldn't last 5 seconds in non-TV jail.

One of my two new favorite TV shows is "White Collar" (the other one is "Glee"). It's about a notoriously skillful con artist and art thief, Neil Caffrey, who gets re-caught by the FBI after escaping from prison. Peter Burke, the FBI agent who caught Neil both times offers up a sweet deal: help the FBI catch other criminals and get a taste of freedom in exchange. Of course Neil accepts the deal because it's easier to track down his One True Love, Kate, if he's not behind steel bars. The mystery of why Kate is on the run is a running theme throughout all of the first season episodes. The greater mystery to me is what mental illness Kate is suffering from to make her want to run away from gorgeous, charming Neil. But whatevs.

This show has everything I adore in my fluffy entertainment: humor (the witty kind), action, surprise twists and muy sexual tension (Matthew Bomer even has sexual tension with the walls):

What's wrong with this picture?

Check out fresh "White Collar" episodes here.

Check out my full review of this show here.

An example of the cast's instant chemistry:

Bringing In A New Blog With An Old Post

2009-12-09T00:04:00.000-08:00

As promised *mumbles* months ago, the final installment of the Breaking Up Series is here. We've already learned "How to Break Up With a Water Sign (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces)", "How to Break Up With an Earth Sign (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn)" and "How to Break Up With An Air Sign (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius)". Last, but definitely not least, it's the fire signs' turn!

Since I have created a new blog devoted entirely to astrology musings, "How To Break Up With a Fire Sign (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius)" is located at Random Astrology.

If you've been enjoying my astrology posts, then I hope you'll join me at Random Astrology. See you there!

Do You Wanna Know How People REALLY See You?

2009-12-07T15:18:00.000-08:00

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."
"Perception is reality."

When I was little, I used to stare at myself in the mirror and wonder if what I was seeing is what other people see. Life experience and a couple photography classes say "no". When we look in the mirror, what we see is our reflection - literally the opposite of what others see when they're looking at us. (Photography sidenote: If you really want to know how you look, develop the negative of your picture as is - without reversing it. Just kidding. That might send you into therapy.) Because of our skewed (read: biased) point of view, we can never really see ourselves objectively. For example, no matter how well I proofread others, I don't always catch my own mistakes because I read what I meant to write instead of what's actually written. I'm almost positive that there's a metaphorical meaning in there somewhere...

Anyway, that question crossed my mind again when an artist friend asked if he could draw me. My curious, adventurous (and vain) side answered "sure, why not?" but my cautious side wasn't sure if I was ready to see how he sees me. I have a very analytical mind and critical eye so it would be hard for me not to notice every. single. detail. of these pictures - for good or bad. In other words, there was the distinct possibility that these pictures could be the death of our friendship. That's a semi-joke.

He drew 2 real portraits and 2 cartoon versions.

Here's one of the cartoon portraits that he drew from a picture I gave him (yeah, my ADHD and his slowness prevented a live portrait):

Wanted Dead or Alive: My Dimples

Of course, I look at this and notice that he didn't include the pair of shades that I used as a headband - the same pair of shades for which the conspicuousness of its frames is a selling feature. But never mind that...

Overall, though, I think he did a pretty good job...of drawing someone who kinda sorta looks like me. :P What do you think?

The next time you're at an arts festival or walking around any downtown of any major U.S. city and a cartoonist/artist offers to draw you, take that opportunity to view yourself the way others view you. It's an eye-opener. For real.

Here's one of his non-cartoon portraits:

Is that you, President Handsome?

At 15 years old, I did my first drawing of someone I know:

I recently showed this to my brother and he likes it.
Note: he's now the age I was when I drew this.

Maybe someday I'll try my hand at a self-portrait. It's always interesting to compare self-portraits to the reality of an artist because they are a good indicator of the artist's self-perception (read: self-bias).

Rumor has it that the famous "Mona Lisa" was a da Vinci self-portrait (which makes the fact that she has become an internationally recognized symbol of beauty hilarious to me).

Speaking of Leonardo da Vinci and hilarity, the atheist sure did have a sense of humor:

Who is this man? If you guessed Jesus, you would be both correct & incorrect.

He was da Vinci's financial sponsor and the model for Jesus in his famous "The Last Supper".

And also one of the most evil generals to ever walk the face of this earth.

Why is he now the most popular image of Jesus???

Why not this Jesus?

It took my grandmother (a Christian minister) years to finally put these gifts up on her wall.

Well, wouldn't you see the person who writes your checks as beautiful enough to worship, too?

Btw, another financial sponsor of Leonardo da Vinci: Machiavelli.

DaVinci's Code (and Christianity as we know it): Decoded.

If nothing else, Leonardo da Vinci was a master at manipulating reality.

He still has us guessing at what we think we see hundreds of years after his death.

Don't Judge This Movie By Its Cover: "I'm Through With White Girls"

2009-12-05T19:25:00.000-08:00

I have a friend who insists that I accompany him on his mission to see every black movie ever made since 1971. And I do mean every. black. movie - everything from theater releases to indies to bottom-of-the-Walmart-bin. Sometimes he picks a good one and sometimes it's...

Him: "Hey, let's go see Phat Beach."
Me: "In the theater?!"

Him: "Hey, let's watch this Master P marathon."
Me: "No sir!"

Him: "You, me and Snakes on a Plane!!"
Me: Pass.

So when we were making our way down the Blockbuster aisle and he showed me the covers for I'm Through With White Girls (The Inevitable Undoing of Jay Brooks), I thought to myself: "Here we go again with wanting to see anything with more than two black people in it." I mean really, what more is there left to say about interracial dating? Is it even still taboo anywhere in advanced society? After the 4th straight no on his picks, I figured that I owed him a yes. When we pressed play, I anticipated the worst kind of campy, low-brow humor based on retarded black&white stereotypes.

But what I got was a surprisingly nuanced film about a man trying to navigate the dating world with a closed mind. After blaming white women for his inability to date someone longer than 5 minutes, Jay Brooks refuses to date another white woman ever again in life. His newly closed mind leads him to a quirky, free-spirited woman in a...colorful package that he has very little experience with dating. I didn't expect to like Jay because he's not exactly someone I would date (more like Mayor of Friend Zone whose personality I grow to love). Then again, flawed characters are the most interesting to watch.

Despite what the title suggests, I'm Through With White Girls doesn't condemn dating any race. It's not even about interracial dating. It's really about states of mind and differing points of view: seeing the world in black and white v. recognizing the many shades in between. Both extremes are well-illustrated through how the two main characters approach their blossoming relationship. What I like most about the film is that no one is wrong and no one is right. But...can these two clashing points of view work in a relationship? And, even more importantly, can Jay stay in the relationship for longer than 5 minutes? You'll have to see the film to find out.

Who stars? Well, this is truly an indie film - what with the most "hood-famous" people being Bookman from Good Times, that woman from 227 and Sesame Street (the grown folks know what's up) and that one dude from Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married?. The actor that plays Jay is cute and charming in an unconventional way. You may have seen him before in your favorite shows but probably don't know his name - definitely "Hey, it's That Guy!" status. His love interest is played by Lia Johnson, who's pretty and relate-able. She's been working steadily since 1997 but you won't recognize her unless you like cult TV shows (Star Trek, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Angel, The Fugitive, Titus, etc.). [Fun little trivia fact: Lia has an identical twin. See if you can spot her cameo in the film.]

I'm Through With White Girls is a romantic comedy told from the man's point of view without insulting women (rare, right?), so it doesn't really fit the typical "chick flick" category. I'm glad that I opened up my mind enough to give this movie a chance after (negatively) judging it by its cover. (But can you blame me? Somebody please shoot the marketing team that came up with the covers.)

Other romantic comedies I like: Boomerang, Coming to America, Love Jones, Pretty Woman, When Harry Met Sally, 27 Dresses. If you like at least two of those movies, then you might enjoy this one, too.

(TRAILER)

We sure have come a long way with the interracial dating subject...

President Obama = President Godfather?

2009-12-05T09:21:00.000-08:00

On Dec. 4, during a "Main Street Tour" townhall in Pennsylvania, a college student asked Pres. Obama if he will consider legalizing prostitution, gambling, drugs and other "non-violent, victimless" crimes in order to stimulate the economy. I give this kid an "A+" for guts and promoting my mom's genius idea.

Check out Professor President Obama's response:

Even though the POTUS managed to both half-answer and over-answer the kid's question, we did get the answer to another burning question: Are these townhall questions pre-scripted? Um no.

Throwback townhall Q&A about legalizing marijuana - March 26, 2009:

POTUS laughed off America's #1 question but this was announced just one week before that infamous virtual townhall meeting response:

Obama Administration to Stop Raids on Medical Marijuana Dispensers

And that's why I half-listen to what Obama says and pay more attention to what he does because, in his case, actions really do speak louder than words (or chuckles). One of my ~~weedhead~~ hemp activist friends went on a 30 minute rant about Pres. Obama's response in that townhall...but I just smiled to myself.

We all know how POTUS feels about marijuana. So we shall see...

But if we learn nothing else from movies like The Godfather I, II and III, let us remember that the most crucial power deals are made behind the scenes and over a series of chess-like moves. Gotta love the strategery. ;-)

By the way, the latest drug headline:

Congressional Bill Targets Sentencing Rules For Crack and Powder Cocaine

We're putting pressure on Congress to vote the right way on this. If you agree, contact your representatives and senators, too. That's the only way we'll get this bill through for President "Mary Jane" Obama to sign into law.

Celebrate OurStory - Ida B. Wells

2009-12-04T12:02:00.000-08:00

Do YOU know black people better than this man?

How many times have you heard someone joke or complain about Black History Month being the shortest month of the year? Well, there's no law that states we must only learn about "ourstory" during February. I don't know about you, but I'm tired of hearing about the same ol' black ~~martyrs~~ heroes. I'm challenging myself to learn more about people who don't get very much publicity. Since I like to share what I learn, there will be a new regular feature at Random Rhyme Reason: a spotlight on people of African ancestry who contribute (or have contributed) positively to progressing African people (and humanity). Still undecided on whether this will be a daily, weekly, monthly or yearly feature. It'll depend on the time that I have and the feedback you give. We'll see...

The first Random Rhyme Reason "Celebrate OurStory" honoree is...

Ida Bell Wells-Barnett (July 16, 1862–March 25, 1931) was an African American teacher, social worker, journalist, newspaper editor and, with her husband, a newspaper owner. An early leader in the civil rights movement, she documented the extent of lynching in the United States. She was also active in the women's rights movement and the women's suffrage movement.

IDA FACTS:

Ida Bell Wells was born in Holly Springs, Mississippi in 1862,just before President Abraham Lincoln issued the Emancipation Proclamation. Both parents were slaves until freed at the end of the Civil War.

When she was 14, both Wells' parents and her 10-month old brother, Stanley, died of yellow fever during an epidemic that swept through the South.

A Chesapeake, Ohio and Southwestern Railroad train conductor ordered Wells to give up her seat on the train to a white man and move to the "Jim Crow" car, which was already crowded with other passengers. At the time, the Supreme Court had just struck down, in the Civil Rights Cases (1883), the federal Civil Rights Act of 1875, which banned racial discrimination in public accommodations. Several railroad companies were able to continue legal racial segregation of their passengers.

Wells protested and refused to give up her seat, 71 years before Rosa Parks. The conductor and two other men dragged Wells out of the car. When she returned to Memphis, she immediately hired an African American attorney to sue the railroad. Wells became a public figure in Memphis when she wrote a newspaper article about her treatment on the train.

When her lawyer was paid off by the railroad, she hired a white attorney. She won her case on December 24, 1884 when the local circuit court granted her a $500 settlement. The railroad company appealed to the Tennessee Supreme Court, which reversed the lower court's ruling in 1887, concluding that "We think it is evident that the purpose of the defendant in error was to harass with a view to this suit, and that her persistence was not in good faith to obtain a comfortable seat for the short ride"

While teaching elementary school, Wells was offered an editorial position for the Evening Star. She also wrote weekly articles for the Living Way weekly newspaper under the pen name "Iola."

In 1889, she became co-owner and editor of Free Speech, an anti-segregationist newspaper based at the Beale Street Baptist Church Beale Street in Memphis that published articles about racial injustice.

3 of Ida's friends were jailed after being accused of raping a white woman. A large lynch mob took the men from jail and killed them in an open field.

After the lynching of her friends, Wells wrote an article in the Free Speech urging blacks to leave Memphis: "there is... only one thing left to do; save our money and leave a town which will neither protect our lives and property, nor give us a fair trial in the courts, but takes us out and murders us in cold blood when accused by white persons."

Wells emphasized the public spectacle of the lynching. Some blacks did leave; others organized boycotts of white-owned businesses. Being personally threatened with violence, Wells wrote in her autobiography that she bought a pistol: "They had made me an exile and threatened my life for hinting at the truth".

The first time Ida met Ferdinand was at a meeting of the Ida B. Wells Club, where Ferdinand was president of the club. Ferdinand was an assistant state attorney for 14 years. Two years later, he and Wells were married.She set an early precedent as being one of the first married American women to keep her own last name with her husband's. This was very unusual for that time.

Wells- Barnett took her campaign into Europe with the help of many supporters. "People all over the country raised several thousand dollars to enable her to travel abroad" (Feldman, 1964).

In 1893, Wells went to Great Britain at the behest of British Quaker Catherine Impey. An opponent of imperialism and proponent of racial equality, Impey wanted to be sure that the British public was informed about the problem of lynching.

She became the first black woman paid to be a correspondent for a mainstream white newspaper.

After her retirement, Wells wrote her autobiography, Crusade for Justice (1928).The book was never finished, in fact it ends in the middle of a sentence, in the middle of a word. She died of uremia in Chicago on March 25, 1931, at the age of 68.

On February 1, 1990, the United States Postal Service issued a 25 cent postage stamp in her honor.

To learn more about Ida, click on my source or do your own research. Feel free to share what you find here. :)

WHY IDA B. WELLS-BARNETT IS A "CELEBRATE OURSTORY" HONOREE:

Ida continuously inspires all people to live, as well as speak, their truth, fight on the behalf of others, put action behind words/beliefs/principles and know that being different can be a source of strength and pride.

Ida B. Wells-Barnett House is a Chicago Landmark, National Register of Historic Places-listed and National Historic Landmark building.

The Black Congressional Caucus Is Blackmailing The Black President

2009-12-03T16:16:00.000-08:00

I usually don't do a double-shot (2 posts in one day) but this is a very necessary exception:

The long-simmering family feud between the Congressional Black Caucus and the first African-American president burst into the open on Wednesday, with members boycotting a financial overhaul vote as a warning shot at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

The 43-member caucus — which included Illinois Sen. Barack Obama from 2004 to 2008 — has chafed against President Obama and his top aides since the Inauguration, complaining that the White House takes it for granted and plays favorites with conservative Blue Dog Democrats.

Ten CBC members decided to boycott the House Financial Services Committee vote en masse after a tumultuous morning meeting at the Capitol between Rep. Maxine Waters (D-Calif.) and White House chief of staff Rahm Emanuel failed to yield a deal, according to people familiar with the meeting.

The bill passed easily, but Waters suggested the CBC’s 43 members could vote with the GOP to scuttle a variety of Democratic bills if Obama and Emanuel don’t address what she thinks is a lack of understanding of the CBC’s wide-ranging goals of reducing urban unemployment, home foreclosures and bank failures. - Politico via Dejon97

Really? Really?! Rep. Maxine "My Husband Robs Banks & Uses His Ambassadorship To Have Affairs" Waters is the spokesperson for this little anti-Democrat movement? The same Maxine Waters that was voted "Porker of the Month" by Citizens Against Government Waste? The same Maxine Waters named one of the 13 Most Corrupt Congress Members by CREW (Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Wasthington)? The same Maxine Waters that endorsed Hillary Clinton during the contentious (and drawn out for way too long) 2008 primary battle right after Bill Clinton made those racially-coded remarks in South Carolina? So you're willing to vote with the GOP, huh? This is shameful.

Meanwhile, President Obama interrupted the Job Summit (you know, to handle the job situation that the CBC claimed was their main reason for protesting) to respond to the CBC today:

"I will tell you that I think the most important thing I can do for the African-American community is the same thing I can do for the American community, period, and that is get the economy going again and get people hiring again," the president told Richard Wolf of USA TODAY and Justin Hyde of the Detroit Free Press in an exclusive joint interview.

Obama said in today's interview, held ahead of this afternoon's White House summit on job creation, that he agreed with some of the goals the CBC had outlined such as making sure black-owned small businesses had access to credit. But he stressed that he needed to keep a broader view.

"I think it's a mistake to start thinking in terms of particular ethnic segments of the United States rather than to think that we are all in this together and we are all going to get out of this together," he said. - USA TODAY

TRANSLATION

Black Congressional Caucus: Show us the money!! We want the same goodies that you give Blue Dog Democrats and Independents to vote your way. Do you think we're in Congress for our own ~~constituents'~~ health?

White House: Didn't I already tell you that I don't pay bribes? My name is not Bill Clinton. You better ask somebody. *hand in the face* *middle finger*

Will hold this country hostage for ~~pay~~ ~~perks~~ ~~pork~~ food

Going once, going twice...Sold to the highest bidder!

Dear Black People: Help me help you. Please contact them (especially if you see your triflin representative o~~n the auction block~~ at the podium) to let them know you see through this mess.

Congressional Black Caucus
2444 Rayburn Building
Washington, DC 20515
Telephone: 202-226-9776
Fax: 202-225-9817
Email: congressionalblackcaucus@mail.house.gov
Website: http://thecongressionalblackcaucus.lee.house.gov

In the meanwhile, I wish someone would install Greed on their work computers to keep them busy ~~learning how to strike a deal~~ while we fix this country. Is it 2010 yet?

For those who love to study body language, here's video of President Obama making the statement quoted above:

Domestic Abuse: One Wrong Doesn't Make It Right

2009-12-03T07:52:00.000-08:00

By now, you've probably heard about the Tiger Woods incident, right? (If not, you can catch up here and here.) Well, as with all things celebrity, this story has jump-started national conversations - about domestic violence. After engaging in and observing both offline and online discussions, I'm noticing a disturbing pattern of women who are celebrating Tiger's (and by extension, all rich/cheating men) situation and giving kudos to his wife. And these are so-called "feminists" who fight for the equal rights of women - equal rights at the expense of injured men, I guess. Maybe this story hits (no pun intended) too close to home for me to be so cavalier about it (more on that later).

Yesterday, I read an excellent post titled "Not Even When He Cheats" about woman-on-man domestic violence. I was the first to comment, so I kept it short and sweet. The topic was covered so well and thoroughly (for a blog post) that there really wasn't much left to write but "bravo!". Apparently, there was more to write, though, because one female commenter kept insisting that men do not suffer abuse as much or as bad as the abuse that women suffer. Just no.

Sister Toldja laid out the issue quite plainly in her post:

In wanting to protect our folks, we sometimes ignore the times in which they need to be chastised or punished. Perhaps this is why other feminists seem loath to address the issue of female on male domestic violence. Women are always abused, what's the big deal when a woman strikes back? She can't really hurt him, so it's not an issue. It doesn't happen that often, does it? If he hits her back, then he's still the real abuser, right? Statistics paint a different picture:

“The most recent large-scale study of DV was conducted by Center for Disease Control and Prevention researchers and published in the American Journal of Public Health.

The study, which surveyed 11,000 men and women, found that according to both men's and women's accounts, 50 percent of the violence in their relationships was reciprocal (involving both parties).

(In those cases, the women were more likely to have been the first to strike.)

Moreover, when the violence was one-sided, both women and men said that women were the perpetrators about 70 percent of the time.”

‘DV researcher Deborah Capaldi, Ph.D., a social scientist at the Oregon Social Learning Center, told the conference that the most dangerous DV scenario for women is that of reciprocal violence, particularly if that violence is initiated by women.

The best way for many women to be safe is to not initiate violence against their male partners. "

Source

And here's the exchange in the comments section that raised my blood pressure:

Kia said... Can't co-sign this anymore than I can the sentiment that attempts to validate "reverse" racism, even in certain eye brow raising instances.... When men need to flee their homes out of fear of their women.. or when men no longer have the ability to physically protect themselves.. perhaps.. Abuse of the spirit should not be condoned but in no way shape or form should be equated with the physical abuse that drives women and children homeless .... and has them losing their lives...

BoSoxQT said... And to Kia, how do you know that type of violence isn't inflicted, and that men don't flee abuse? They are less likely to leave and less likely to admit it ever happened. Mostly because, as bad as victim blaming is for women, it's twice as bad for men. "How could you let her beat you. How could you let her cut you down? You're not a man." Our ability to love and be blinded by it isn't changed because we're male or female. And just because you aren't forcing them to flee with a slap doesn't mean you're not doing damage. And abusers are usually methodical. So all the "little" abuses are part of a bigger, more abusive picture. To me, that mentality is just as sick and just as intolerable as anything men do to women. Not to mention, you can bring weapons into any situation, and those level any playing field and take many a life.

That's like Whoopi saying "but was it rape rape" There is no "but was it abuse, abuse" It is or it isn't. The difference comes in ones reaction (or non reaction) to it.

A commenter that wasn't Kia understood BoSoxQT's point:

Lite Bread said... @BoSoxQT,
Thank You, for the considerate reply.

Yes, I understand better what you were expressing.
And can agree with it. Thx!

But ol' Kia just stuck to her original position:

@BoSoxQT: "And to Kia, how do you know that type of violence isn't inflicted, and that men don't flee abuse?"

The safe houses are filled and overflowing with women and children who did not have the luxury of deciding to stay in abusive situations out of embarrassment or shame.. They are there because their lives are in danger.. They have no choice.. A man's self esteem can be damaged.. but physically all he has to do is decide to fight back unless there are a plethora of men who decide to mate with women three times their strength.. men always have the option of simply applying pressure.. This does not discount their suffering.. but if they wish to compare their suffering to women then the comparison can not be made imo.. Women suffer both emotional and physical abuse and the emotional abuse is more intense because it is followed by the threat of physical abuse..

I simply can't co-sign the effort to equate the two.. There is a more urgent case however among men that abuse other men.. Again.. it is akin to saying that a black man who wrongs a white man is the equivalent of a white man who does it.. you are attempting to degrade the severity and uniqueness of one wrong by diluting with the need for compassion for another wrong that is simply not the same.. in scope.. quality or quantity.. but I can see.. this may not be seen by those who are adamant.. so wrt to this discussion.. I bid you adieu..

After reading this last comment, my head almost exploded, so I had to jump back in and, hopefully, Kia will be enlightened by a different point of view (I doubt it but hope springs eternal):

Jara said...: Kia, I have read a couple of your comments now and feel compelled to respond. The reason why you can't make the comparison is because maybe you haven't seen the damage that abusive women can do PHYSICALLY and emotionally to a man. My father is an attorney and has had many male divorce clients walk into his office with busted faces and bodies who refuse to press charges against their soon-to-be-ex-wives, even when my dad explains to them that it will lessen their alimony payments. Imagine being willing to pay an extra $400 a month to keep the knowledge of being beat up by your wife quiet when you are not rolling in money. But you probably can't because you're so focused on women-as-victims.
You write "not to discount men as victims" but then that's what you continue to do.
The statistics - even in this article - show that men suffer from violence just as much as women. That physical strength you keep throwing in doesn't matter when women are grabbing ammo like household appliances, broken dishes, running people over with cars, etc. And it's people like you who keep diminishing those instances that makes it hard for men to come forward. They don't keep quiet out of "ego" but out of shame and , yes, FEAR - the SAME shame and fear that keeps an abused woman quiet. But men have even more shame than a woman, because NO ONE feels empathy for an abused man. Where are the support groups and Oprah shows for abused men?
Most men are afraid to tell their families and the police because they don't want their girlfriends, wives, baby's mother in jail. They go through the same anguish that women go through when they don't report their abusers. The statistics are staring you dead in the face and yet you refuse to accept them. I can't imagine that any abused man would feel comfortable revealing his story to someone with your mindset - and you claim to work on behalf of abused people! If you have no sympathy or sensitivity towards this, then who do you think will - someone who hasn't seen the effects of abuse?
You know what an abused man hears if he ever does manage to reveal his story to someone?
"Your girl did what?!" *giggle, cackle, guffaw* (insert being called every derogatory name in the book)
"Man you shoulda beat her ass!"
"If that hadda been me, that bitch would be on the floor!"
And so forth. But many abused men have been (correctly) taught to NEVER put their hands on a woman - no matter what. In other words, it has been ingrained in them from childhood to control that instinctive urge of self-preservation and self-defense. So they hold it in. And get attacked over and over and over. Until they snap and attack back. THEN that's when people want to get involved and label him the abuser.
Meanwhile, yes, his wife/girlfriend is a danger to him. And, yes, women know how to mix emotional abuse in with the violence as well as any man: calling them names, deriding their sexual performance, telling them no one else will want them, withholding sex for months then beating the man up if he's caught "FLIRTING" with another woman, threatening to run away with the kids, threatening to call the police and play victim if the man ever retaliates in violence or uses self-defense tactics, isolating him from his family because he's afraid to let them know what's going on in their household, etc. The list goes on. And these aren't from my imagination. These are stories that I have seen with my own eyes and heard with my own ears. Go ask any divorce attorney and they will have many stories to tell you, too.
One of my closest cousins almost died because of his wife and her evil temper. And by the way, SHE OUTWEIGHS him. When SHE STABBED HIM, he was taken to jail instead of to the hospital! He never laid one hand on her. She called the cops because he was WALKING AWAY FROM THE ARGUMENT. Even though he was the one with the obvious physical injuries, he was taken to jail. She cheated on him and got pregnant. When my cousin's father kept telling him to get a paternity test, my cousin refused. A couple years later, my uncle got one for him and - shocker! - the baby isn't his. So she cheated on him, got pregnant, pawned off another man's son on him and you know what he did? Stayed with her, married her and continues to take care of the little boy like his own son. He will not leave her no matter what we say. You know what he gets in return for his loyalty? Overturned tables and threats of violence at a party in his own family's house! Now if she's feeling herself enough to do this in public, then you should know that means she's doing way worse in private.
Yes, his life is in danger every single second that they are together. Living with domestic abuse is literally like being in a combat zone at all times. On my mother's side of the family, we don't get into each other's business unless it's a life-threatening situation. They called me to call him in hopes that he would listen to me because we were so close growing up. The fact that they called me told me that the situation is serious. Well, I called him and I listened. And he sounded like an abused person to me - making excuses for her, diminishing the situation, not wanting to be apart from his children, he caused her to hit him, etc.
This isn't an isolated event. I have male friends who have told me stories of their girlfriends (who seemed sweet as pie when I met them) getting so violent that they ran away to their boy's house. Women who have restraining orders from their ex-boyfriends. But my friends refuse to call the cops. And that's why there aren't as many cases on the books of domestic violence with women as the perpetrators. But as you can see from the mouths of both men and women in the stats above that they can identify the source of violence. It is not empowering to excuse women from having to develop self-control and exercise nonviolent expressions of anger in the household - anymore than it would be to tell men that it's okay to be violent out of anger. The double standard is gross. If you "can't imagine" women being as violent as men, then maybe you should get out more.

When I wrote my first Tiger/cheating/sexual violence-related post - "It Ain't Cheaper to Keep Her (Or a Cheater)" - last Saturday, I never imagined that there are women who exist who would condone this kind of behavior. Well, I had a rude awakening in my own comment section:

I salute married women who beat their husband's ass (ala Tiger Woods) for cheating. Unfortunately, I think she signed a prenup so she can't take half of that billion dollar fortune. Plus I don't think it's even been 2 years yet, so she has a ways to go.

When a member of an oppressed group can't sympathize with another person's suffering - regardless of where, why, how or by whom the suffering occurs - then I question the humanity of that apathetic person. The reason why violence occurs is because somehow the perpetrator received the message that their behavior is acceptable. So whenever we find a justification for any violence not committed in self-defense, then we are part of the societal problem.

The 10 Best Astrology Resources for Beginners

2009-11-30T17:09:00.000-08:00

Some of you have asked me about good starter resources to learn astrology, so I figured I'd create a one-stop beginner's spot. Feel free to share this post with others who are interested in learning more about astrology (by clicking on "share" in the upper-right corner of this blog under "About Me" or in the comments section).

Here's my favorite "beginner's kit":

1.
What is Astrology?
Getting Started with Astrology - The Basics of Astrology
What are Sun Signs?
Understanding Your Birth Chart (click here for your free birth chart and natal report)

How a (pretty) birth chart looks...

...and what it means translated into English.

Don't worry if this looks weird to you. Understanding your birth chart isn't important in the beginning. All that's important right now is that you know it exists and that it's the foundation of astrology. The point is to make sure that you have your birth chart ready for when you are ready to understand it. Moving on...

BOOKS (Click on the hyperlinked book titles to purchase or read excerpts from the book.)

In general, my favorite astrologers are Trish MacGregor, Steven & Jodie Forrest, Liz Greene and Jan Spiller. All of them have been practicing astrology for decades, do consultations and live lectures. They all have books available on Amazon.

2. All Around the Zodiac: Exploring Astrology's 12 Signs by Bill Tierney

If my house were on fire and I only had time to save one astrology book, it would be this one. Great for beginning astrology fans as well as intermediate students. For beginners, this book can help you understand your Sun sign more. It also helps you understand the fundamental compatibility strengths and challenges with other Sun signs. Once you're more familiar with your birth chart, this is also an excellent resource to understand what it really means to have your Sun in Pisces, Moon in Sagittarius, Mercury in Libra, for example.

For intermediate students, you know that the study of astrology is very similar to the study of psychology. It's based on identifying personality types. All Around the Zodiac does a great job of describing the different energies, motivations and needs of each sign, which of course can be used in interpreting the rest of the chart beyond Sun signs. This book can help you understand how each sign, planet and house interact with each other on a deeper level - especially those signs that you're unfamiliar with because they're not strong in your own chart or in the charts of those in your family, social and work circles.

3. The Everything Astrology Book: Discover Your True Self Among the Stars by Trish MacGregor

If my house were on fire and I only had time to grab two astrology books, this would be the other one. Everything Astrology really is the only book you need to understand the basics. It begins by answering the basic question "What is Astrology?" and covers all of the building blocks of astrology, including the twelve Sun Signs, Astrological Patterns, Planets, Reading a Birth Chart, etc. Trish MacGregor writes for a variety of genres - including murder mystery novels! - so she's very adept at explaining these somewhat complex concepts in an interesting and easy-to-understand way. If you're a visual learner like me, you may also find value in the many illustrations. I often find myself referencing this book to refresh my memory or further understand a complicated concept that I'm learning somewhere else.

4. Chart Interpretation Handbook: Guidelines for Understanding the Essentials of the Birth Chart
by Stephen Arroyo & Jerilynn Marshall

Ok, here's where knowing that a birth chart exists begins to pay off. In my opinion, this is one of the best reference guides for helping to explain the birth chart (remember that pizza pie above?). It's easy to read and relatively short (for fellow ADD'ers) yet extremely thorough. Instead of telling you how to interpret a chart, Stephen helps you interpret a chart by explaining key concepts and then giving you room to come up with your own answers. The first time you look at your chart could be an overwhelming experience. There are all of these symbols and numbers on this big "pizza" that might as well be heiroglyphics. But with this guide by your side, all of the squiggles will quickly make sense to you. One of my favorite things about this book is that it helped me zero in on the essence of a chart without getting hung up on all of the bells and whistles. No need to bite off more than you can chew.

WEBSITES (with mostly FREE content!)

5. Astrology Basics - Written by Molly Hall, an astrologer with over 20 years of experience, this is one of the easiest to understand astrology websites I have run across.

6. Bob Marks - Astrology Lessons
This is basically a free online astrology course. Here, you can start in any order you like because the syllabus is pretty easy to follow. However, I don't recommend skipping around. Astrology is very similar to math in that you can't do long division without first knowing how to multiply. If you're starting out from scratch, it'll probably lessen your confusion to start with lesson 1.0 and go from there. I also like to recommend this site to people who are easily bored and don't like to read long, drawn-out descriptions. Bob gives you enough to get the gist and then keeps it moving.

7. Cafe Astrology
One of the most popular astro websites. You can get free reports & calculations (including your birth chart and a free natal report - highly recommended!), horoscopes & forecasts, advice, articles, book reviews, tools & resources and more.

BLOGS

8. Sasstrology
This site features my guest posts. :) Three years ago, it started as a blog that focuses on the astrology of love and sex called Seduction Central. Since then, it has evolved into an excellent astrology resource and #1 astrology social networking website for beginners and intermediate level fans.

VIDEOS (if you prefer hearing instead of reading)

9. For fun, try the cute, short how-to tutorial videos for your sign (or the sign of the person you're interested in). For example:

"AstroSex: Satisfy Your Cancer Gal"

"How To Make A Gemini Fall In Love With You"

10. Check out Elsa P's video blog. She discusses astrological concepts and answers life questions using astrology - usually in under 3 minutes. Again, this is for my fellow ADD'ers. For example:

"Applying the Natural Zodiac To Solve All Of Your Problems"

"1 Minute Astrology - Conflict in Love and Relationships"

"Scorpios, Aquarians and the Other Signs You Hate"

"Defending Virgo" - a sign that gets a lot of abuse in the astrological world (along with Cancer and Capricorn)

"Synastry - An Effective Approach, Abstract But Logical"

BONUS:

Top Ten Astrology Blogs

Black Love Signs: An Astrological Guide to Passion, Romance and Relationships for African-Americans

by Thelma Balfour

Get ready to smile and nod while you flip through this extremely popular book among African-Americans who are first learning about astrology. Black Love Signs focuses only on Sun signs (something that makes most astrologers cringe), so there are a lot of over-generalizations here. But it gets the job done. And it speaks in a language that many of us can appreciate - with a lot of references to black celebrities and black pop culture.

Sexscopes: How to Seduce, Stimulate, and Satisfy Any Sign

by Stuart Hazleton

One of the first astrology books that I read and enjoyed. It also deals with only Sun signs, so all you need is a birthday to understand it. Warning: the tone is very cheeky and not for the easily offended. Also, advice is given for lesbians and gays as well as straight people, which is very rare in astrology "how to" books. Other good beginner books for lesbians and gays are Queer Astrology for Women and Queer Astrology for Men - both by Jill Dearman.

Love After Sex: Relationships by the Stars

by Olivia

So you found someone to have sex with and the sex is fabulous. Great! Buuuut, there are issues once you leave the bedroom (or the kitchen, the backyard, whereever). This book is the cheapest relationship therapy you will ever purchase. It focuses on Sun Signs so it's very much at a beginner's level. However, it gives really good insight into why people act the way they do in relationships. Most interpersonal conflicts are based on different values or different tactics to fulfill various needs. This book can help you make sense of the other person or, at the very least, see the other person's point of view - and who doesn't appreciate that in the middle of an argument? Also, the advice is awesome and served up with humor.

Mars & Sex: Secrets of Sexual Astrology

by Trish MacGregor

Once you've learned more about how the planets work within a birth chart, it's time to get to the good stuff: sexual chemistry! If you've been dying to know if you're compatible with that Special Person, then this is the book for you! As noted before, Trish is able to translate the meaning of Mars in a way that makes sense to a beginner. Mars & Sex is organized like a "cookbook", so you can easily look up the exact Mars placement you're interested in and read it quickly. I suggest that you read this after you've read "The Everything Astrology Book" to understand how Mars works within the larger context of the entire birth chart. But even if you don't, this book is still enjoyable and useful as a great resource for vetting potential sexual chemistry according to the stars.

Skymates: Love, Sex and Evolutionary Astrology

by Jodie Forrest, Steven Forrest

After you've gotten the hang of interpreting your own (and someone else's) birth chart, now you're ready to study the potential compatibility between two people by interpreting how their charts will likely interact together. In my opinion, this is one of the best books on synastry because it explains the deeper meanings behind the astrological symbols. After all, astrology means nothing if it doesn't actually apply to a person's life. Otherwise, it's just a hypothesis. Jodie and Steven Forrest have over 60 years of combined experience practicing astrology, so they're excellent at giving signs, planets and houses more real-world meaning than most astrologers that I have studied.

Astrological Insights into Personality

by Betty Lundsted

This is my favorite book for understanding the aspect patterns within a birth chart. A great read for anyone with an interest in the psychology of people. Betty tends to focus on what the birth chart says about a person's childhood and how these aspect patterns manifest in adult behavior. An intermediate level read that's very insightful and rarely goes wrong!

Any book by Jan Spiller is a good selection, especially Astrology for the Soul. Jan focuses on evolutionary growth, finding your life path to complete your soul's purpose. These are good for if you're feeling stuck in a life rut or want to make a big change - career, partnerships, relocating, etc. Every thing we do comes down to "Does this make my soul happy or not?" and "Is this making me a better person or not?", so I highly recommend checking her out. Jan's books are at an intermediate level but can be understood once you understand the concepts of Lunar Nodes (aka North and South Nodes).

Enjoy your stargazing! :-)

If you would like a reading or consultation, let me know in the comments section or email me at jazzzyone@gmail.com. If you're looking for someone to predict the future, try someone else. Predictive astrology is not my focus.

For related astrology posts, click here.

This Song Is More Than "Good Enough"

2009-11-29T00:23:00.000-08:00

First of all, I don't know why this song isn't a R&B hit. Probably because it wasn't released as a single. Why not? Here we have male singers who all have spent time in a Top 10 spot on the Billboard Pop or R&B charts individually, so releasing this as a single seems to be a no-brainer to me. But then again, I'm not smoking crack, so there's that...

Second of all, "Good Enough" is good enough to convince me that Brian McKnight, Joe (my birthday buddy!), Carl Thomas (a very underrated singer), Tyrese (Black Ty killed his singing career) and Tank (hotness!) need to do an entire album together. Before hearing it, I saw all of these male R&B singers on the track listing and thought: "great, another ego project". But there is no Gerald "And my background sang!" Levert moment here. Considering they are all songwriters as well as singers (Tank even wrote Tyrese's biggest hit "Sweet Lady"), there was ample opportunity for this collaboration to turn into a pissing contest if their egos were too large to fit on the same song. It would've been interesting to be a fly on the wall during the creative process.

With the opening dramatic strings, "Good Enough" grabs me by my heartstrings (and nether regions). The melody manages to be orchestral, haunting, sexy and beautiful all at the same time. I really didn't expect these men's voices to complement each other as well as they do. However, by the time we hear the first line "Neither one of us can get to sleep...", we know something serious is going on. The lyrics hint at smoldering sexual tension, longing, temptation...but we don't know where, how, or why. The verses are a game of tagteam with all five men singing the chorus together. Brian even adds his very decent Marvin Gaye impression @ 2:57. (I was going to break down each line but that would take the fun out of the game of matching each singer to their lines.)

On a personal note, I highly recommend this song to be played after a lovers' quarrel for a guaranteed steamy make-up session. ;)

What do you think? Is this song a hit or miss? Should more people know about it? Should it have been released as a single? What's your favorite part? What male R&B singer missed his chance to join in on the harmonies? Who should have stayed at home on recording day? Discuss.

Buy "Good Enough" here. You can get the song for free if you click here and use the promo code "MP34Free" before browsing for the song. That offer is good until Nov. 30, 2009.

BONUS TRACK: Here's another good example of male R&B voices (Brian sure does like to collaborate, huh?) coming together in a beautiful way: "You Will Know" by Black Men United from the Jason's Lyric soundtrack. See if you can name all of the singers. :) Nice to see most of them are still around 16 years later. It's proof that true talent prevails...

New Rule: It Ain't Cheaper To Keep Her (Or A Cheater)

2009-11-28T08:46:00.000-08:00

So angry that she can't spell her insults correctly.

This Just In: Cheaters are no longer getting away with cheating. Well, rich cheaters, that is. There used to be a time when a rich man (especially a rich and/or famous man) could remind his wife of her fabulous lifestyle with a $4 million ring to keep her ~~drugging her blues away~~ turning a "blind" eye to her husband's ways. But no more!

Per TMZ: Tiger Woods' “serious” car accident followed a fight with his wife over his alleged mistress Rachel Uchitel. Elin allegedly confronted Tiger, scratched up his face (“facial lacerations”), and then followed him with a golf club when he tried to flee. A distracted Tiger (possibly on prescription meds?) then hit a fire hydrant. - Buzzfeed

I'm sure you remember Steve McNair, right? If not, allow me to refresh your memory...

The girlfriend of former NFL star Steve McNair first shot him in his right temple, then fired three more shots at close range, most likely as he slept, police said Wednesday.

"McNair was seated on the sofa and likely was asleep, and we believe that Kazemi shot him in the right temple, then shot him twice in the chest, and then shot him a final time in the left temple," Serpas said. Watch police chief describe murder-suicide »

McNair was married and had four children. Serpas said he had spoken with McNair's wife Wednesday to update her on the investigation.

The police chief said Kazemi had become rattled over the last week, believing that McNair was involved with another woman. "She had become very distraught and on two occasions told friends and associates that her life was all messed up and that she was going to end it all," Serpas said. - CNN

And just in case you think this is only happening with rich and/or famous people:

In Westmoreland County, PA, a woman who was sentenced to 6 months probation after gluing his testicles to his leg, his penis to his stomach, and his butt cheeks together, is being sued by the man.
She also dumped nail polish on his head. When he woke up, the woman threw him out, forcing him to walk a mile down the street to call police. At the hospital, nurses had to peel the glue off, because oils did little to help remove the glue.
The woman's attorney claims that this was routine sexual activity between the couple. The jury of 10 men and 2 women can award over $30,000. - Shortnews

A jury of 10 men and 2 women? This woman obviously doesn't have a good attorney. Wonder how they'll rule. Hmm...

Now I don't condone violence in retaliation for cheating but all of these stories should be a wake-up call for cheaters. Notice what else most of these couples have in common besides cheating & violence: children. #1 reason stated why most unhappy couples (married or unmarried) stay together? Their children. If nothing else, really think about the children. If you're reading this and are in a similar situation, trust me on this: you're doing your children no favors. It's highly unlikely that they will flourish in this kind of toxic environment.

In the wise words of my mama: "Staying with the wrong person leaves no room in your life for the right person to move in the right way." In other words, committing to the wrong person is emotionally, as well as financially, expensive.

Dear Unmarried-But-Living-Together Couples: There's a such thing as palimony. Dear Married Fellas: if you're rich, then it's no longer cheaper to keep her. Get a divorce lawyer. Or pay with your life. Dear Married Ladies: Stay with a cheating husband and you'll pay with your sanity. Because he'll have you sounding and acting "wack". Like this...

Whitney, p1- "Crack is wack!" And so were their addictions to "love".

Whitney, p2

Whitney p3 - Whitney's a horrible liar. Check out her body language while she and Bobby deny strong use and Bobby denies being jealous. Looking at this in retrospect, she was trying to snitch on MJ, too...

Whitney, p4 - Whitney can play piano?!

Whitney, p5

Related posts:
Redemption (a poem for Whitney)