Random Rhyme & Reason - Now in Bite Sizes

 

Hey there, Random Reader. Just wanted to let you know that I have "discovered" Tumblr and am now planting a flag there with a replacement companion blog to Random Rhyme & Reason. Tumblr is more media-oriented than Blogger (imagine Twitter's social interaction and functionality plus the ability to see what's in the links without having to click on them). So RRR on Tumblr features photos, video and audio clips, shorter versions of my random thoughts, and more!

Since Tumblr indulges my ADHD side and is easier to navigate, I'm leaning towards doing most of my posting there instead of here. We'll see. RRR on Tumblr is set up to feature new posts from this blog, so it's a one-stop Random spot.While I'm deciding, think of this blog as the Random homebase and my Tumblr as a motor home.

We've had fun here, so join me on my cross-country trip!

It's only been a few days since I joined Tumblr but I've already started micro-blogging my little heart out - along with sharing posts from other people's blogs (please forgive this late announcement).

In case you missed it:

My brother was offered a full scholarship to Harvard University. My mixed feelings.

First Listen of Erykah Badu's latest - "Out of My Mind Just In Time" from her upcoming album.

Hi Hater - My response to Reverend Al Sharpton's response to Tavis Smiley's hateriffic tendencies.

Mood-lifters: Read/Write Passive-Aggressive Notes - When I need a mood-lift, I visit a site with submissions of snarky, passive-aggressive notes. It's my version of reality TV.

Back in the Day Love - a memory lane story that led to an epiphany.

Politics of Love - a new romantic comedy about love found during the Obama campaign. You know I have a personal tale to tell.

Read Random Rhyme & Reason on Tumblr from the top here.

My Coffeetable Isn't Black Enough Without the Black Bible & Other Epiphanies

  
Black History Month is almost over and I'm still getting my learn on, like a good American citizen. Yesterday, I watched a panel discuss the 35th anniversary of the publishing of "The Black Book" and had a few epiphanies, especially about why people who constantly complain about racism stomp on my last nerve.

Want to read them? Well, here they go.


Related Black History Month Posts:

• 5 Overlooked Gifts For Black History Month 
• I'm Black & I'm Proud...Even With Deep Southern-Fried Roots
• Why Blacks and Whites Can't Get The Hell Away From Each Other

New Rule: The 21st Century Man

 

It's 2010 yet many men are still clinging to outdated definitions of man. Every time I hear a man define manhood as some kind of hyper-"masculine" Clint Eastwood, James Evans, Shaft or Lil Wayne bullshiggity, I shake my head.

While we watched Bill Maher complain about President Obama not waving around his balls accomplishments like Shrubby promoted his "accomplishments", my mom called to tell us to check out Bob Costas' unintentionally hilarious Evan Lysacek interview. For those who don't know, Evan just won the gold medal for the U.S. in figure-skating - the first in over 22 years. In the interview that occurred less than 24 hours after Evan's historic win, Bob Costas decided it's time to macho this sport up by instigating a rivalry between Lysacek and Plushenko, the silver medalist. Plushenko is a male figure-skating hotshot who has gold medals and many titles. As we see from the clips that Bob Costas played for Lycasek, Plushenko didn't take his "loss" well.  His sour grapes speech consisted of diminishing Lycasek's skating ability, blaming his lower scores on a new scoring system...the list of excuses goes on and on. Meanwhile, Lysacek responded in a gracious, calm manner, reminded us why he deserved his gold medal, and gave Plushenko credit for being a great skater who influenced him - and didn't change his answer the next three times Bob Costas rephrased the "so what do you think about that?" question. The only thing missing was Bob punching Lycasek and pointing at Plushenko.

I was impressed by this 24 year-old's ability to navigate Bob's transparent ambush interview with the maturity that some men twice his age don't show or have. However, a male friend commented that Lysacek missed the opportunity to call Plushenko out for challenging his win. Now what purpose would that have served? Oh that's right...Lysacek could avoid being called gay. Because, you know, a man who makes his living skating around in a formfitting costume to classical music cares about being perceived as gay. Smh. The irony of my friend's comment is that Lycasek is one of the more "butch" (and heterosexual) male figure-skaters.

UPDATE 2/21/10: Bob Costas must have received a bunch of negative feedback after this initial interview because he did another interview with Evan just a few hours later - with 3 other interviewers there to ask some on-topic questions related to Evan's gold medal win. 

On Twitter, I learned that "man laws" forbid men from giving another man lotion, listening to Sade or Maxwell on a car radio with another man present, inquiring about another man's day, wishing too many people happy Valentine's Day, hugging another man, cheering for another man, etc.

If a man breaks any of these "man laws", then he is automatically labeled "gay".  In other words, he's not a "real" man.

Really? Still? In 2010.

These "man laws" are obviously some men's attempts at humor, but as the saying goes, "There's always a bit of truth in humor."  The question is: whose truth?

My 16 year-old brother recently informed me that he refuses to play soccer because "real men" play sports that require hand-work. Translation: Girls don't think soccer players are sexy around these parts, so I'm sticking with basketball, football and basketball.

It's time to redefine a "real man" to fit the 21st century.

10 Real Man Laws

#1 - Real men don't jump at every challenge to their egos, especially when they have nothing to gain from "winning" that battle.

#2 - Real men freely express their affection and support for their loved ones.

#3 - Real men are secure enough not to pretzel themselves into the macho man stereotype if that's not their real selves.

#4 - Real men don't run from their financial, social or moral responsibilities and obligations.

#5 - Real men don't disrespect or degrade others (especially women) to feel more "manly" or gain attention. And they correct others who do this.

#6 - Real men help others.

#7 - Real men recognize their flaws and strive to improve themselves.

#8 - Real men don't abuse themselves by indulging in counterproductive habits.

#9 - Real men are curious about the world around them.

#10 - Real men can admit when they're wrong.

While reading, real men thought of more "real man laws" to add to this list.

Will the real men please stand up? The fake men who are still living by 20th century rules can't see you.

A couple years ago, I told my mother that we've entered an era when men who are humble & hard-working will be rewarded, while the flashy, egotistical big-mouths would fail. Sure enough, I see my prediction coming true all around me. 

For the confused ones, here are some examples of real v. fake men.  (Notice the professional wins coincide with superior conduct in their personal lives as well.)

Real Man:



Fake Man:



"When a man blames others for his failures, it's a good idea to credit others with his successes."
-Howard W. Newton

Real Man:



Fake Man:



Real Man:



Since it seems to be impossible to interview LeBron without mentioning Kobe Bryant, here's Point/Power/Little Forward Bron showing how he surpassed Guard Kobe's scoring (and many other stats) by not underestimating his competition or overestimating himself.

Fake Man:



Meanwhile, Kobe manages to be humble for 20 seconds while he eats up all of the ass-kissing that masquerades as interviews. He explains why he considered himself the leader of the Lakers even though it was a team full of NBA veterans.

A real man makes posing with flowers look damn sexy.

BONUS: Here's an actual ad from 1955 that advises women on how to be good wives (lamest parts highlighted for your viewing pleasure). It feels so good to be in 2010 when we can define our gender roles to fit us rather than the other way around.

Related Posts:
Woman, Sexist and Homophobe Aren't Mutually Exclusive Terms
World's Longest Marriage: Opposites Attract (And Can Last!)

On Hiatus...Or Twiatus

I'm taking a break from "social networking".

More specifically, I'm taking a break from networking with random people on Twitter. For free. For the purposes of entertainment or curiosity. (In other words, I'm still doing it when there's a check involved.)

Normally, I keep my online social networking un-networked and very compartmentalized. Facebook is for friends and family to stay connected. Twitter is for strangers - preferably friendly strangers...

But that's not always the case, now is it?

Last May, I created a Twitter account to maximize the time I devote to catching up on the goings-on of the world. I discovered that I could search for anything and I'll get an entire stream of news on anything. A news junkie's paradise, right?

Or so I thought.

A friend encouraged me for months to join Twitter, but I wasn't convinced. That is...until we watched the White House Correspondent's Dinner on C-Span and I saw tweets scrolling across the bottom of the screen. The narcissist in my head whispered that she had some thoughts to share, too. Wouldn't you like to see your thoughts on there, too?! Yes, yes I would. So I created an account, typed in some random thoughts to see them stream across C-Span. I couldn't see them, so I began typing in more for testing purposes.

We figured out that if we click on #nerdprom, we could see the White House Correspondent Dinner tweets and I might see mine.

I read and laughed and typed.

Then I saw this number to my right.

Me: What are followers?

Friend: I don't know.

Me: The number keeps going up.

Within 30 minutes, I was at 65 before I finally figured out that these were people who "subscribed" to reading what I typed.

After the #WHCD was over, I didn't have much else to write. My Twitter purpose was fulfilled.

But then I saw #unfollowdiddy.

Anyone who knows me well knows how I feel about Diddy. I had years of bitterness stored up about some of my favorite artists getting a raw deal from this career-killer soul-snatcher "businessman".

So I had a lot of #unfollowdiddy material in me...

Then I learned how to reply to people who wrote to me.

And just like that, Twitter became an episode of the Twilight Zone where a wish fulfilled turns into a nightmare. The more I read, the more I thought. The more I thought, the more I commented. The more I commented, the more people paid attention and replied. I couldn't hide away as just a reader while on "stage".

Twitter began to feel like my public online diary - a place to deposit my thoughts in bitesize form to remind me of certain events in my life.

I didn't expect complete strangers to care about what I thought and take it as an invitation to battle. But they did.

Early on, everyone was friendly.  They showed me the Twitter ropes and told me to put up a picture so I wouldn't be mistaken as a "bot".

I didn't plan to be on Twitter for long, so I asked my friend what picture to use. Her suggestion? "Use mine!"

She's a sociology grad student who was studying the effects of social media on American pop culture and business.  I love sociology, so I was game.

As weeks went by, I actually found myself enjoying the people that I conversed with on Twitter. After my friend's research was done, I decided to become a permanent presence and changed my picture to reflect me. Some shallow people felt betrayed. Most didn't. I never said the picture was of me so *shrug*. I'm a strong proponent of letting people believe what they want to believe when it's not an important subject matter to me.

Anyyyyway...That was 8 months and 30k+ thousand tweets ago.

Since May '09, I've had some wonderful and enlightening conversations, "met" some great people, beefed with some and caught a few headaches.

But now...it's time for a break (and here's why). At least for awhile.

As with any break up, I like to leave on a good note to prevent Bag Lady Syndrome by reviewing the positives.

Thanks to Twitter, I got over my fear of sharing some of my inner truths with others, of speaking (well, writing) my mind before shit hits the fan.  Fellow tweeters congratulated, reinforced and challenged my views. All of this allowed me to see other perspectives - something I get in abundance in "real life" by necessity (work) or from family and friends who enjoy playing the devil's advocate. However, in all of these offline circumstances, there's a line that none of us cross...because we want to maintain our relationships.

But with strangers, there's no line. Or maybe the line is invisible.

Through Twitter, I was able to see how far I would go with people who I violently disagree with and see how far they would go with me. As my mom likes to say, I'm a "show me" person. I'm not satisfied with just "knowing" something. I want to KNOW it. The only way to KNOW something is to test my hypotheses. And then I form theories based on the results of my experiments. The experiment can last for 10 seconds or a few weeks. But at the end of the day, I learned something that I will remember and apply going forward.

Twitter also encouraged me to restart blogging. I've been a writer for as long as I can remember. I began writing in my first journal at 8 years old. To others, I was a happy child who had many friends, performed well in school, was in many extracurricular activities.  But my journal was my real best friend. The one who kept all of my secrets and never judged me - even when I judged myself.  And I could count on it repeating back to me what I was feeling verbatim - an archive of my feelings, thoughts, life moments! My journal is my friend that just listens to me, without needing me to first listen for hours at a time, without expecting me to come up with the right encouraging words to make it feel better. All it wanted in return for its friendship is to be used and cherished. Done and done!

It was my first - and only - truly reciprocal and balanced relationship.

Just the thought of anyone reading my thoughts was enough to send shivers down my back. Oh, you should have seen the security system I rigged up to make sure that never happened!

So I thank Twitter for providing me with a place online to share my thoughts - though not exactly a safe place, it is one full of immediate feedback from random psychos.

But I'll be going back to my old way of getting soundbite news.

In the meanwhile, I'll continue to share my random thoughts about life here and on my other blog.

Random Readers, if you're interested in reading and sharing your thoughts, too, then that's great.

If you want to keep in touch with me, let me know in the comments section and I'll give you my contact info.

But even if you don't want to read my thoughts or contact me, I'll still be here - writing until the world makes sense to me.

BONUS:

Want to publish your first 3200 tweets or keep them as a souvenir? Click here.

Throwback Thursday: "The Purple One's" Rehearsal Footage from 1984

It's grainy but it's him. I ran this footage through my state-of-the-art Prince-detector system: random howls (check!), groin-pulling splits (check!) and mandatory 4-inch pumps (check!).

Knowing His Purple Badness, these videos won't be available for long. While you're here, make your trip worthwhile by checking out some of Prince's best cuts in the sidebar and his 5 most underrated post-80's ballads.















as seen here

BONUS

A Random Movie Review: "City of Men"

*mild spoilers*

After four years, I finally finished watching the entire "City of..." series.

In 2006, an ex introduced me to the brilliant "Cidade de Deus" (or "City of God") in order to prove his side of a debate about ghetto conditions in Brazil v. U.S.  At first, I had a hard time paying attention because it's a subtitled film and I didn't know anything about the plot. But after while, I didn't even need to read to understand what's going on.

The story is about two boys growing up in a violent neighborhood (Cidade de Deus) in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. We follow the boys along their two different paths: one becomes a photographer, the other a drug dealer. The 2002 film is based on the 1997 novel written by Paulo Lins, a man who grew up in Cidade de Deus.

In other words, this is a true story (which I didn't know until the shocking "where are they now?" updates at the end). I won't spoil the movie for you but...knowing that these events really happened blew my mind.

The movie is great, an international hit, Academy Award-nominated, critically acclaimed, on everyone's top 10 best movies of all time lists, etc. But the most intriguing aspect of "City of God" is the sequel and prequel that was released afterwards.

In "City of God", there was a period in the two boys' lives that was fast-forwarded for the sake of time and storytelling constraints. The skipped parts are somewhat fleshed out in "Cidade dos Homens" (or "City of Men"), a TV series that tells the story of two other boys growing up in Cidade de Deus. What is somewhat confusing is that the TV series stars many of the same actors who were in "City of God" but playing different characters with similar personalities/stories. The TV series ran for 4 seasons (19 episodes) in 5 years on Brazilian TV. While just as gritty as the film, the TV series manages to also have heartwarming and very funny moments.

In 2008, I rented the series and ended up watching these boys (and their characters) literally grow into men within several hours - from the ages of 12 to 18.

One of the two boys in "City of Men" is the same actor that played the young version of the sociopathic neighborhood drug lord in "City of God". Imagine Tupac's Bishop in "Juice". Now multiply that by 100. It was more than a bit disconcerting to get to know him as a boy and end up sympathizing with him/his story.

Now it's 2010 and I just finished watching the 2007 film version of "City of Men", which begins immediately after "City of Men" (TV) ends. It tells the story of how and why the boys' lifetime friendship is in jeopardy. We also see how men deal with the issues of early fatherhood (and I get some answers to my questions about the causes of deadbeat dad-ism).

Are you confused yet?

Ok.

Now is a good time to add that none of the "actors" in the films and TV series are really actors. They were selected because they grew up in Cidade de Deus. Some are even related to the "characters" they portray in the series and films.

The last episode of "City of Men" (TV) showed the "actors" breaking character and "portraying" themselves to give a tongue-in-cheek depiction of what their lives would be like after the series ends.

Very meta - and too complex for me to actually write an involved review without spoiling everything for you. Although "City of Men" (film) stands alone, I'm sure that it's much more enjoyable with the context of watching City of Men (TV) and "City of God" first.

My rating: A MUST SEE! 

If you haven't seen "City of God", climb out from under that rock check it out.  If you like the movie, then I highly recommend you watch the other two parts of this unique trilogy to flesh out the story (and blow your mind).

Warning: While this series is essentially a coming-of-age story, it's not for sensitive people or children. The violence is very graphic, although not gratuitous. 

Say hello to my lil friend!

Since I like you, here's "City of God" for you to watch right now! :-)

My Health Care Story

Hello, I'm a 30 year-old woman who is what the media likes to call "underemployed", which means that I'm working but don't have any employer-based benefits. My story seems to keep slipping between the cracks in the health care coverage (pun intended).

Two years ago, I was working as a contractor for a large company that couldn't afford to hire me permanently because of the high cost of health insurance. Instead, they kept extending my contract as a temporary worker. I agreed because some money is better than none, right?

In January of 2008, I was blindsided by a mac truck. I suffered back and neck injuries and my car was totaled. Because of my injuries, I wasn't able to sit up for longer than 30 minutes without extreme pain. Taking medication for pain relief made it impossible to do my job, so my temporary contract was terminated and talks of becoming a permanent employee ended. In California, a temporary contract can only be extended to a year to avoid "exploiting" temporary workers.

So I was injured, out of a job and had no car. But my medical bills for medication, physical therapy, and transportation (along with regular living expenses) mounted. Two years later, I'm healthy again but my savings for another rainy day have been reduced by half due to out-of-pocket medical expenses (long, my-health-care-insurance-company-is- -being-sued-for-fraudulent-billing-practices story).

I am fortunate that my parents taught me to save for a rainy day, because my rainy day literally included an unpredictable car accident that could've ended my life.

So now I'm working for a small company that pays incredibly high premiums in health insurance to cover most of its employees - something that many small companies can't manage to do. But the owner's generosity is threatening the financial solvency of the company.  Small companies are the backbone of America's economy. Over 60% of Americans are employed by small companies. According to a new federal study, health care spending in 2009 was an estimated $2.5 trillion. That's $8,047 per person! If it keeps rising at the current rate, health care spending is projected to double by 2019.

A sick country is not an effective country.  A sick country can not be a world leader.

This is why I'm fighting to help people like me who are "underemployed" to get affordable health care.  Life's unexpected medical curve balls should not cause bankruptcies, loss of houses and jobs and the end of a college education for our children.

We are not welfare cases living off of the state. We want to work. We want to get married. We want to be able to start families.  But we need quality health care first.

We're extremely close to passing real health reform. I support President Obama in encouraging Congress to take us to the finish line.

Thank you for reading, and hopefully sharing, my story.




******************************************************************************

That's the letter that I just wrote to my local newspapers in support of health care reform through Organizing For America's Health Care Action Center's easy online tools.

If you were moved by my story, please help me take action. Even if you weren't moved by my story, you probably have your own story or a story of a loved one that moves you to take action.

If you support President Obama in calling Congress to pass an effective health care reform bill that includes the benefits below, then please take action and contact your congressional representatives. Most actions take less than 1 minute to do because the email, tweet, facebook, call, etc. is already written for you. (Of course, you also have the freedom to flip the script, too.) I have contacted my reps in almost every way possible but I also wanted to share my story in my own words. I'm a blogger so I might as well write for my cause, right?

Contact your congressional reps here.

Don't believe the media hype. These are the health care reform benefits that we are fighting to get for all Americans.

Both the House and Senate versions of health insurance reform rest upon the following building blocks:

• Insurance reforms to protect consumers from insurance company worst-practices – like denying coverage based on pre-existing conditions, capping total coverage, and dropping or watering down coverage when you get sick and need it most
• Consumer protections that will restrict how much of your premium dollars insurance companies can spend on marketing, profits, and salaries
• Creation of a health exchange to increase consumer choice and guarantee coverage
• Affordable health options, with subsidies for working families and a hardship waiver
• Tax credits to help small businesses afford coverage
• Making preventive care completely free – with no co-payments or deductibles
• Lowering the cost of health care for our seniors
• Improving the quality and extending the life of Medicare
• Ensuring that reform is not only fully paid for, but actually significantly reduces the federal deficit 

Source

Sometimes, I Can Be A Cry-Baby

Today, I learned a couple painful, yet valuable, lessons...

1. I am more sensitive than I let on (to others and myself). 

2. When handing out criticism, use the compliment-criticize-compliment formula. NEVER start out with the criticism first. No one will hear the compliment if given last.

Read the full story of how I learned this lesson.

Any words of wisdom you care to share? I'd rather learn the easy way - vicariously through you.

Lost While Watching "Lost"

The following is a good example of me forgetting things to make room for more brain storage space.

Last week, someone gave me a link to TWoP and I visited the site like it was brand new to me.

Until 5 minutes ago, I had forgotten that I posted my (somewhat extensive) theories there last year, which means that at some point I remembered enough about this show to have a theory.

So why am I (finally) watching the season 6 premiere like I have only seen one episode?

Jack's on the plane again! What's that guy's name sitting next to Jack? Nice accent. Where is he from?

Oh yeah, Desmond.  How did he die again? Wait, is he still alive?

The foot! What did this foot mean?

And so on.

I have turned into that annoying person who needs explanations every couple minutes. (I see now that I'm going to have to review the entire series - including the season that I haven't seen - at some point before the final episode.)

Should I be worried about premature senility? Or is it really super & extra lame to make an audience wait the time it takes to conceive and deliver a baby to premiere a new season?

While we ponder these incredibly important questions, here are my "Lost" theories (as of last year at the end of season 5):

May 16, 2009 @ 7:02 pm

I like the gods theories being tossed around here. :-)

Taking it a bit further...if Jacob and NotJacob are gods (or "physical manifestations" of the gods), then "people" like Richard could be the angels doing the gods' work for them. Perhaps this is all some test to recruit angels, to see who's good at handling the big "To Do" lists they are tasked with (snip)...

This could all really be one big backgammon/checkers/chess game between Jacob and NotJacob (to settle some random dispute about human nature...with winner takes all stakes?) - kinda like the movie Trading Places where the "main" characters were pretty much pawns being used to prove/disprove some theory of the 2 rich brothers. If my theory is correct, then what's interesting about this show is that the island "mysteries" are mysterious only because we're being shown the details first while the big picture is slowly revealed to us season by season. So, theoretically, as the seasons continue, our perspective SHOULD change from viewing (and caring about) the Losties specifically to caring about the big picture. Perhaps we're supposed to start viewing the Losties (and Others, etc.) as only the small details of the bigger picture. Also, the island could be like "home base" of the gods. Jacob is recruiting "pawns" (or players) to prove his theory that humans can work together cooperatively, act unselfishly, etc.

As someone else upthread mentioned...the two arguments from the gods could be NotJacob: "humans are inherently selfish" (proven by some Losties, Others, etc. to be true) vs. Jacob: "humans are not inherently selfish" (proven by some Losties, Others, etc. to be true), rather than Light vs. Dark or Good vs. Evil. Good/Evil are man-made religious - and not necessarily spiritual - concepts. The show could be making the argument that there is no Good and Evil - only different purposes/perspectives. (Or is that too mystical?? lol). What's "good" and "bad" really is subjective. E.g., death is not inherently a "bad" thing and living is not inherently a "good" thing like many of us are raised to believe. Maybe the stakes of the bet is either ultimate creation/survival of (human)life or ultimate destruction of (human)life. read more

Yes, I'm a nerd. :-)

And here's proof that "Lost" is too deep even for me.

In case you missed them, catch up on old and current episodes here.  Seasons 1-5 will be available through December 31, 2010.

What do you think of the season 6 premiere? Got any theories? No spoilers about episodes that haven't yet aired - please and thanks!

Everyone's Gotta Have a Theme Song

Remember the scene in "I'm Gonna Get You Sucka" when Jack Spade learned that he needed a theme song in order to be a badass?

When I saw that movie at 8 years old, I decided on the spot that my theme song was "Bad" by Michael Jackson. (For reasons which shall go unlisted here.)

As I've matured, I exchanged "Bad" for a number of other theme songs that I felt defined me in less than 5 minutes: "Greatest Love Of All", "My Life", "Can't Take That Away (Mariah's Theme)", "One Of Us",  "Stronger", "Love Is", "Scared of Lonely", "Flaws And All",  "World Wide Woman",  "Get By", "Beautiful Struggle", "My Petition", "Man in the Mirror", "I Wanna Be Free".

Regardless of the songs I chose over the years, I always seem to return to "32 Flavors", originally by Ani DiFranco. The lyrics are just so perfect. When no one seems to get me, I have this song. Through every changing situation, mood and path I walk down, I have this song:

And this morning was one of those mornings when I had to crank up my theme ALBUM to help me hit the snooze button for the last time.

What song(s) perfectly describes you or your state of mind, makes you feel so sexy or gets you pumped and ready to face the world?

If you've never seen "I'm Gonna Get You Sucka" (where have you been?!), then here's your chance to get familiar. It's a great parody of the blaxploitation movies of the 70's. Enjoy!

What I Know About Not Knowing...

"Wisdom hires knowledge as an intern." ~ Jara

I just read an ah-mazzzzzzing post by Ta-Nehisi Coates titled "The Practical Limits of Knowledge".

It's an understatement to write that I love this post. Although his name is familiar to me, none of Ta-Nehisi's work immediately springs to mind. I have a feeling that in my incessant quest for knowledge that he is one of the people that I've read, pondered and forgotten as I move on to the next one.

However, with this post, he has made a permanent impression on me.

Maybe because I have been analyzing this word "knowledge" lately.

In my early years, I attracted Know-It-All's - people who loved schooling me on everything under the Sun (know-it-all's sure can recognize an apt pupil, right?). However, as I grew older with more experiences under my belt, I began attracting my own students - people who sought me out for my opinion, knowledge, and wisdom.

I didn't (and don't) always have the answer. What I do always have is a great respect for truth. Rather than give an uninformed opinion or a false fact, I'm quick to say "let me get back to you on that". If I don't know the answer and don't feel like researching it, I just say "I don't know".

I don't know. Those are the three most freeing words in the English language.

Once you don't know something, it immediately decreases the other person's expectations of you.

Try it out the next time someone comes to you with a question about the meaning of life or whatever.

"Hmm...you got me. I don't know that one. Sucks not to be a walking encyclopedia." (Warning: Some may take offense at you dropping an "I don't know", thinking it's an intentional conversation-ender. Especially if you're known as a Know-It-All)

But it really doesn't.

You know what does suck? When people think you have the answer to everything.

Because then you're expected to always have the answer to everything, which is impossible to do (without looking loud and wrong at some point). Consequently, you're bound to disappoint someone sooner or later when they find out that you're not Spock.

Thankfully, I choose a career path that favors listening to people first, then speaking - marketing/sales. (The first rule of marketing is to find out what the people want. The second rule depends on the sales philosophy of the marketer, which I won't divulge here because...it might make our job harder.).

But what if your job is to provide answers, to always know something? Naturally, know-it-alls gravitate towards certain professions - teachers, preachers, counselors, life coaches, critics, pundits, etc - to become Professional Know-It-Alls. And we listen to them because of their alleged knowledge.

What I have noticed recently is that people who don't know what they're talking about are now trying to grab up these gigs and inundate us with their full-of-bullshiggity, random-assed opinions. And they're quick to tell us "I have an opinion about everything."

Really? How is that even possible when we know that you don't know everything? But they're right. They do have an opinion about everything. What they're really saying is "I will talk about anything, even if I don't know what the hell I'm talking about." <- Clue #1 that you're dealing with a classic Know-It-All.

Don't ask me why these people exist because I. Don't. Know.

But I sure would like to find out.

When I do, I'll let you know.

*Yes, this is a placeholder post for when Ta-Nehisi (hopefully) approves me republishing and dissecting his article.

QUESTIONS: Have you read "The Practical Limits of Knowledge"? Thoughts? What other works by Ta-Nehisi Coates am I missing out on? Anything I don't know that you think I should know?

If you haven't already, check out the post that inspired this one: "The Practical Limits of Knowledge"

Another great post about the noise pollution in entertainment and on the streets: Smartest or Loudest? Thoughts On The Rampant Rhetoric of Now

Here's my favorite Know-It-All:

I'm Black & I'm Proud...Even With Deep Southern-Fried Racist Roots (Moment #1)

"In 1960 — The downtown lunch counter sit-ins started on a Friday afternoon, Feb. 19, when 12 black honor students from Howard High School took stools at whites-only lunch counters. It was the first sit-in demonstration in Chattanooga. The crowd of protesters grew daily until Wednesday, Feb. 24, when more than 1,000 people gathered downtown. Authorities turned fire hoses on the crowd, both black and white, to disperse them. On Aug. 5, downtown lunch counters served black customers for the first time." ~ Chattanooga Times Free Press

My aunt, JoAnne Favors (nee Humphries), was one of those 12 black honor students from Howard High School who was brave enough to defy the unjust Jim Crow laws. In 2010, it's easy for me to say that I would've sat down next to my aunt at that lunch counter...but I don't know for sure that I would have done so. In 1960, it would've been unrealistic of me to expect equal treatment to white men and white women. My biggest fears in life involve my freedoms being restricted, so I would have wanted to avoid the whole jail possibility. Also, I love my life a little too much. And I have an uppity streak. Being an uppity Negro in those days was the quickest route to getting ran out of town, ran over, beat, shot, lynched, drowned, set on fire and worse. None of those possibilities thrill me, either.

More than 5 generations of my family walked the halls of Howard High. When my cousin gave her valedictory speech a couple years ago, she spoke of how her aunt (my mother) gave her own valedictory speech on the same stage more than 30 years ago. That cousin, who is 10 years younger than me, was taught by people who taught our parents, grandparents and great-grandparents. Both of my grandmothers taught Howard students. In fact, this school is the reason why my 5 year-old heart was set on attending Howard University, a school I thought was the natural next level for Howard High graduating seniors.

So yes, this story holds special meaning to me. And it's part of my maternal family's folklore that has shaped our family culture. It was repeated to me whenever I whined about not being able to achieve something for whatever lame reason.  It's stories like this one that makes "Yes we can!" more than a campaign slogan to me. I remember these stories when someone tells me that I'm dreaming too big, expecting too much and giving more to a people than I'll ever receive back from them.

I come from a long line of civic, social and political activists who, in their own small and big ways, have changed the course of black - and American - history for all of us.

Does this sound like an overstatement?

Think about the ripple effects that one small pebble can cause in a giant river.

One of my truths is that we are all connected. My actions (and non-actions) affect you. And vice versa. Even if we don't know the other exists.

At the time, those 12 Howard High students were the youngest in the nation to stage a sit-in to challenge the status quo of this country. Their success gained national attention and inspired other students across the nation to follow suit. Our successful civil rights struggle in America inspired South Africans to fight apartheid, elect Nelson Mandela in its first multi-racial democratic election and form a Constitution that Mandela modeled after the flawed yet necessary and groundbreaking U.S. Constitution. Nelson Mandela has, in turn, inspired millions as a world leader for causes such as AIDS awareness.

In other words, we all have these 12 Howard High School students to thank for the gains that we have made towards world justice for all.  Thanks to them, we have the basic freedoms that allow us to pretend that the United States doesn't have second-class citizens.

Because of her earlier political and civic successes, my aunt was encouraged to run for a state congressional seat. She won. Stay tuned for how...
 
By the way, don't sleep on Chattanooga, Tennessee. It's more than the subject of a world-famous hit song and aquarium. There's something about this city that produces people with a fire in their bellies.  Many of them have gone on to become deeply involved in various progressive movements. Even the celebrities that spring from Chatt-town are never too busy to be socially engaged or open-mouthed about their stances on civil rights: Samuel L. Jackson, Usher Raymond (and here) and Reggie White (R.I.P.) to name a few.  

All of this and more is why I can't tell people from Chattanooga that their city isn't the center of the world. In many ways, it is. No really. I'm dead serious. Oh the stories I could tell. Maybe one day I will. 

Dedicated to my auntie. 

Related Articles:
Chattanooga: Howard Graduates Tell Students of Sit-Ins by Kelli Gauthier

An Unquenchable Flame: The Spirit of Protest And the Sit-In Movement in Chattanooga, Tennessee by Samuel R. Jackson

5 Overlooked Gifts For Black History Month

You know that person who's hard to buy gifts for because they a.) have everything b.) like nothing or c.) have out-of-budget taste? Well, I just found the perfect gift for that person in my life.  Because she's so hard to please, I look for her gifts year-round and store them for special occasions.  Coincidentally, I found this perfect gift for her on the first day of Black History Month: a bound copy of A Day of Absence, one of her favorite plays.  She took me to see this play when I was younger and it was an eye-opener and life-changer.

Written by Douglas Turner Ward, A Day of Absence is about a small town in the Deep South in which black people mysteriously disappear for the day. As the day progresses, the whites in town notice the lack of work getting done, lack of convenient scapegoats, and basic lack of joie de vivre. In other words, the town completely broke the hell down without having black backs to lean on.

Fascinating, right? Now imagine this play that was written, produced and set in the 1960's (amidst a national battle for basic civil rights)...was performed in all whiteface by black actors (with the exception of one actual white actress).

Yeah.

When I mentioned this play to the kids I mentor last week, none of them have heard of it. Although this isn't as famous of a play as say, Raisin in the Sun, it's just as meaningful, profound and even more timeless to me. And it should be right next to Shakespeare on the list of required reading for every student in every public and private school.

Yesterday, someone mentioned on Twitter that they're at a black play about black people by black people and yet no black people are there to support it. This comment wasn't shocking to me in the least. I have lost count of how many quality so-called black cultural events I have attended or black products that I have bought (or been introduced to) that black people simply aren't supporting on a large scale.  As a matter of fact, the first person to introduce me to "political rockstar" Barack Obama was a white man from Pennsylvania. In 2003. Yes, pre-2004 DNC Keynote Address and pre-"A More Perfect Union" speech Barack Obama was considered a national rockstar. But he wasn't on most black Americans' radar for a loooooong time (some blacks only became aware of him when he managed to somehow beat Democratic incumbant to the White House thrown, Hillary Clinton, in the primaries).

How does this happen? Why does this happen? I have my theories. Which I will save for another post.

But this all got me to thinking about the quality gifts that I have received from people that seem to be overlooked by other blacks.

So in honor of Black History Month, my gift to you is a list of 5 Overlooked Gifts For Black History Month. You may already know about these or own them...but I'm willing to bet a month's worth of salary that you know someone who doesn't. And that someone may appreciate one of these gifts.

1. Death of of Prophet: Last Days of Malcolm X - Morgan Freeman stars in the first ever film about Malcolm X. With a focus on his last day with us, this story is a unique take on the man and the myth. Ironically, it also features Yolanda King in a significant role. Yes, that Yolanda King - MLK jr.'s daughter. No spoilers but...the King and X families were a lot closer than they would have us believe. The film is now available on DVD, so check it out if you have some free time. [I know what you're thinking: Wasn't Malcolm 39 when he died? When has Morgan Freeman EVER been 39 years old? This is a made-for-TV movie that aired in 1981. Born in 1938, Morgan was a bit over 40 years old at the time but he still had black hair so no major casting fail here. Last month, I discovered that Morgan Freeman has, in fact, been under 40 years before and there's video proof.]

2. Solomon & Sheba - We know her as a gorgeous Academy Award-winning actress, but in 1995, Halle Berry was on a hot made-for-TV streak.  After completing her critically acclaimed role as author Alex Haley's grandmother in "Queen", she won the role of Queen Sheba. At the time, it was unheard of for a black woman to be cast as a black woman in a biblical story. In 1959, Hollywood tried to tell us that the Queen of Sheba looked like this, despite Sheba being in what is now Eritrea, Ethiopia and Yemen. And don't get me started on Elizabeth Taylor as Cleopatra. For those of you who don't know, Queen Sheba was one of the first women to rule an entire kingdom. Her intelligence and shrewdness is just as fabled as her beauty. She's one of my sheroes, so it was nice seeing the story of how she came to power.

This film co-stars Jimmy Smitts (L.A. Law, NYPD Blue) as Solomon. And, let me tell ya, their chemistry is hotttt. In 1995, having an interracial love scene that went beyond simple pecking (even between two people of color) was still...taboo. For some reason, Showtime (and its parent company, CBS), doesn't want you to know this film exists. It has never been formally released as a VHS or DVD, is rarely listed on any of the actors filmographies, and took me 5 years to find a copy (to at least prove to friends that it does indeed exist). If you would like to see the film, let me know in the comments section or via email. The DVD is available for purchase for $10 (including S&H if you live within the United States).

3. You may know the fabulous Blair Underwood as an actor from Krush Groove, L.A. Law, Just Cause, Madea's Family Reunion, Something New, The New Adventures of the Old Christine, Dirty Sexy Money, the-list-goes-on fame. Or you may know Blair as a do-gooding philanthropist (founder of AHF Blair Underwood Healthcare Center that offers free HIV/AIDS care; co-founded Artists for a New South Africa, a non-profit organization dedicated to democracy and equality in South Africa, and more).

But did you know that he's also an author of some very entertaining fiction? I'm in the middle of reading his second novel, In the Night of the Heat: a Tennyson Hardwick Novel. Ladies, it's not often that we get a sexy male black detective as the lead character, now is it? ;-) But just in case the fellas think this is some chick lit, think again. This is a character that both men and women can enjoy:

"[Casanegra: a Tennyson Hardwick Novel ] is a wild ride through Hollywood, heart-pounding in every way. Smooth, ultra-sexy Tennyson Hardwick is a man readers will want to meet up close. He is all heart and danger, a knight in battered armor. You will love this novel!"
~ E. Lynn Harris New York Times bestselling author

The third novel in the series, From Cape Town With Love: a Tennyson Hardwick Novel, will be released on May 18, 2010.


4. Prince Among Slaves - I first became aware of this true story via a gift from one of my favorite uncles. At 11, the book by Terry Alford was a heavy read for me. I don't even think I finished it then. But as a freshman in college, I revisited this story and found it more inspiring than Roots, Queen, Rosewood and Amistad rolled into one (although Amistad is a very close second).  Last year, I watched the movie and cried at the end. For those of you who don't know me well, this is very rare. I've only cried during maybe...4 movies in my lifetime (yes, The Color Purple is one of them).

"Winner of the Best Documentary at the 2007 American Black Film Festival, PRINCE AMONG SLAVES tells the compelling story of Abdul Rahman, an African Muslim prince, through feature-film styled re-enactments directed by Andrea Kalin and Emmy-Award-winner Bill Duke; contemporary artworks, archival letters and diaries; and on-camera interviews with distinguished scholars and experts. Narrated by actor and hip-hop artist Mos Def, PRINCE AMONG SLAVES is based on Dr. Terry Alford's biography of the same name. The inspiring true story of an African prince who survived 40 years of enslavement in America before finally regaining his freedom." ~ PBS

5. Last, but not least...In addition to celebrating our famously outspoken, brave civil rights activists during this Black History Month, let's also focus on our achievements in the sciences. Without black inventors, our lives would be drastically different. We'd have way more car accident fatalities because we wouldn't have traffic lights (but we'd also have less traffic tickets, so hmm...scratch that one). I wouldn't be able to write this post on my cool laptop because it wouldn't have enough memory or operating power without the all-important microchip. Try relaxing from a hard day at work without video games or a remote control. Without cash registers, calculators or an abacus, imagine the wait time in stores while cashiers calculate every single purchase in their head.  But wait, those cashiers wouldn't be able to make those types of calculations because they didn't attend school without a black inventor to create the first one. Now imagine how long we would have to wait to get new food in the grocery store without a railroad system. The list goes on and on. Without black inventors, none of us would be here. And I literally wouldn't be here if it weren't for my black parents inventing me. So thanks for that.

Extra special shout-out to my first love who is a patent holder. His invention? He literally created magic by defying gravity.

In order to get a patent, you must prove:

*an orignal idea.
*a marketable idea.
*an idea that is of value to many people.

Let that marinate for a bit.

Now...If you want your mind blown, check out this somewhat full list of black patent holders. It's amazing to see what our brilliant black minds come up with if we're encouraged to let our imaginations run wild.

I hope you celebrate all of this and more with me during our special month of recognition because Black History is World History.

What does Black History Month mean to you? Have you given or received any of these gifts? What overlooked gifts did I miss?

Related Posts:
"I Don't Believe in Fairy Tales"
Celebrate OurStory - Ida B. Wells
Kwanzaa Time Is Here...Do We Celebrate It Or Not?

Death of a Prophet [SCENES]

Prince Among Slaves [TRAILER]

Blair Underwood discusses the opening of the AHF Blair Underwood Clinic:

The classic made into a classic. [TRAILER]

A remake of a remake of a classic. [TRAILER]