“I reject your reality and substitute it for my own.” ~ Adam Savage
Keeping tabs on - and shaping - public perceptions is my business and hobby. Almost daily, I find myself in a conversation with someone where I end up asking myself, "How can this person think/feel/believe this? And with such conviction, too!" Even when faced with evidence to the contrary of their beliefs, most people that I have encountered will not reject their beliefs in favor of "reality".
Most of the time, the schism between perception and reality is based on the degree to which we trust:
words v. actions
emotion v. logic
few occurrences v. many occurrences
and so on...
The same person who asked me "Is perception reality?" asked this general question on Twitter:
"Has ANYBODY seen Princess and the Frog?" His reasoning? "I asked who saw "The Princess and the Frog" because I've heard NO ONE talk about the film. At all. Not on TV, Facebook, Twitter, anything."
So this is obviously a case of perception v. reality. Because he hasn't seen anyone discussing it leads to his conclusion that the movie isn't being watched. Is this reality? Well, no. Not only was "The Princess & the Frog" #1 in its opening weekend, but it broke a record for having the highest-grossing start of any animated movie in December. So obviously people have seen the movie. The question now becomes "but are they talking about it?" Yes. This person follows me on Twitter. Not only have I tweeted at length about this movie after watching it, but I also wrote a post about it (and tweeted the link to the post). As many others have done, as well. Searching for "Princess and the Frog" on Twitter (instead of relying solely on one's follow stream) would answer this question. So while it may be true that he hasn't noticed anyone discussing the movie, it is not absolutely true that the movie isn't popular.
But try to argue that with some people. Instead of accepting the TRUTH that people are watching the film, a hard-headed person might argue about how the stats were collected, how many theatres carried the movie, compare the gross unfavorable to Avatar, etc. All in the name of backing up the original perception that the movie isn't buzzworthy. I know you have met this person before. You may be this person.
The same person who asked me "Is perception reality" and thinks that no one is watching "The Princess and the Frog" also believes that Tiger Woods has "disassociated from blacks". Why does he believe this? I don't know for sure (I'm still waiting on him to answer my follow-up question), but I suspect that it's because of Tiger's "I'm Caublasian" statement many moons ago. (Why black people have a problem with multiracial people claiming to be more than just black, I will never understand. It's probably some leftover bitterness about blacks who "passed" back in the day. But I digress...) This is not an uncommon sentiment amongst blacks that I have heard discuss Tiger.
But let's look at the facts of Tiger's actions and not his words (since so many people claim that actions speak louder than words):
1.) Two of his best friends are black: Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley. Ironically, both of them have also been given the "disassociates from blacks" label at some point in their careers. Perhaps because they don't walk around wearing daishikis with their black power fists raised? *shrug*
2.) Tiger Woods is consistently named one of the most generous celebrities. His main causes are Children, Education, Environment, Family/Parent Support, Human Rights. What group of people benefits from these causes the most? I'll give you one guess.
3.) He has started, or is actively involved in, the following foundations:
"The Foundation aims to bring attention to the plight of indigenous peoples, the catastrophic state of their forests, to develop a self sustaining organization to give long-term support to assert and defend rights, fight against development programmes which have the most damaging effect on their environment, and carry out various projects promoting the governance and the economic development of their communities."
Tiger Woods Foundation
"In 2005, the Foundation reached a significant milestone as four years of project development for the Tiger Woods Learning Center were completed, and final preparations were made for the incoming students.
In addition to the TWLC project, the Foundation continued making a difference in the lives of young people through its annual programs and events. The Start Something program enrolled its 3-millionth participant in August and continues to help kids achieve their dreams. Additionally, it also awarded nearly $2 million in grants nationwide."
Providing courses which help students relate what they learn in schools to what they can become in life, and striving to get kids excited about math, science, technology and language arts.
Again, who do black people think is benefiting most from these types of programs?
Oh but wait...Tiger infamously doesn't wife or mistress up black women. We now know that Tiger is a flaming philanderer. That Tiger's cheating was such a huge scandal at all stems from how much the reality of Tiger differs from the public's perception of him as a square family man. I consider him leaving black women alone to be the ultimate act of charity to the black community. But that's just me.
So where does this perception that Tiger "disassociates from black people" come from? Is it because he plays golf? Well, I hope not. Because since Tiger began playing golf professionally, he's attracted more blacks to the sport and runs a training camp for...guess who..."inner-city youth" (which we all know is code for blacks and Latinos). Golf may not be perceived as a black sport but we're watching and playing it more.
But even as I lay out all of these facts of his actions, I'm 99.9% sure that I'm changing no one's mind who already has this perception of Tiger.
I'm more than a bit empathetic about people who are perceived incorrectly by the public.
As a child, I was constantly moving and, therefore, entering a new school as "the new girl". Each new school presented a new opportunity for me to be confronted with how others with no previous experience of me perceive me. As an adult, my environment is constantly changing as well. One thing I learned from each new experience is that people's subjective perceptions don't always match up with objective reality.
When I was 11, I attended a new school in a middle-class area with predominantly white students. Asians were the favored minority. There were very few black students.
At the beginning of the first period of my first day at a new school, I got in trouble with my P.E. teacher because I didn't have a uniform to wear (apparently, my mother was supposed to purchase one for me before I showed up on the first day). She told me to either pick a uniform from the lost and found bin or receive an "F" for the day. Since I didn't want to begin the new year with a "F", I chose picking the uniform and took my sweet time going through the bin of dirty clothing that I refused to wear, hoping to run the clock out.
The bin and I were located in the corner behind a tiled wall, so two giggling (white) girls who entered the locker room didn't see me. I heard them slamming doors and whispering but didn't pay what they were saying any attention. I was more focused on them not seeing me fishing around in a dirty clothing bin while half-naked. To make a long story short(er), I successfully managed to remain in the locker room for the entire period of the class. While the girls in the class were changing, someone started screeching about her missing lunch money. My P.E. teacher made a beeline to me and demanded that I return the money. When I told her that I didn't have the money because I didn't take the money, she gave me yet another ultimatum: either return the money or get written up and sent to the principal's office. Let's just say my trial was quick. Despite my defense that there were THREE of us in the locker room (which should've created a reasonable doubt in any unbiased person's mind), I was quickly found guilty and sent to the principal's office. During the first period of my first day at a new school.
To this day, I don't know if my P.E. teacher's bias against me was because of race or simply because she didn't have any prior experience with me to know that I would never steal anyone's money. It might have been a bit of both. The reason for her bias doesn't really matter, though. What matters is that she was biased and remained biased for the rest of my time in her class. Her perception (which also ended up tainting my schoolmates' perceptions) of me turned into my reality. From then on, I was known as the locker room thief and harassed by my P.E. teacher on a daily basis.
This is not an isolated event. As I already mentioned, I have been a fish living out of water most of my life so there have been countless similar witch-hunt experiences - at school, at work, at family reunions. As a result, I'm of the mindset that there's always an objective truth, regardless of whether it's subjectively perceived or not.
I'm using Tiger and myself as examples of how perception doesn't automatically equal reality, but I could list at least 10 more celebrities and many people in my life off of the top of my head that have a strong public perception - negative and positive - attached to them that can easily be cracked with a closer inspection of some objective facts.
But that rarely matters.
Why?
Because the real reality is that people believe what they want to believe, and don't believe what they don't want to believe. Facts, truth and reality be damned.
Questions: Is perception reality? How long does it take to make up your mind about a person, event or concept? After your mind is made up, does it take an act of God to change your perception? Or are you open to taking in more information, and possibly changing your mind? Have you ever been in a situation where others perceive you differently than you perceive yourself?
Related Posts:
Right v. Left: Are You Random or Reasonable?
Do You Wanna Know How People REALLY See You?
A Tiger Woods Holiday Poem
Posts
