“A little less complaint and whining, and a little more dogged work and manly striving, would do us more credit than a thousand civil rights bills.”~ W. E. B. Du Bois
In honor of Martin Luther King, Jr.'s birthday, I'm restarting my personal mission to remain complaint-free for at least a week. That's right. An entire week of no complaining. Not even for entertainment purposes.
Here's how:
A couple years ago around this time, I saw a video from one of my (then) favorite astrologers about her attempts to join a Complaint-Free World. At the time, I was going through what astrologers call a Saturn Return, which happens between the ages of 28 to 30. During this time, we're learning tough lessons that, if we grasp, life will be smooth sailing until our next Saturn Return at some point in our late 50's. If we don't learn our lesson, well...that lesson is going to repeat like a broken record.
Well, my Saturn is in Virgo. Virgo - the sign that pursues perfection with the fanaticism that would put even the most devout Jesus freak to shame. Truth be told, Virgo is one of the most idealistic signs of the zodiac. Since nothing in life is perfect, Virgo's busy work is finding (and, in its higher state, fixing) flaws. What do we do when reality doesn't match up to our ideals? We complain!
So Elsa's description of an initiative to rid the world of complaints intrigued me (when not complaining of unrealized ideals, the dogged pursuit of self-improvement is Saturn in Virgo's other hobby):
At the time, I was going through a break-up with someone whose chart is loaded with Virgo energy (no surprise why I was attracted to HIM during this specific time period, huh?). My nickname for him was Mr. Pity Party. No matter what good fortune lay at his feet, he could pick it apart until all that was left was a self-fulfilling prophecy of doom waiting to happen. He got the job of his dreams paying him more than his dream paycheck, but after the couple minutes that he allowed himself to celebrate, he immediately began worrying that they would find out he's a fraud and snatch the offer back. This led to complaints about how hard it is for people to get work Visas in America. And so on...
My relationship with him served as a clear mirror for me. I may not have complained with his same level of intensity or frequency, but I definitely pulled up a chair to more than a few of his Pity Parties with my own list of gripes. Most of the time, we made each other laugh with our mutual rants. But at those times when one of us was in a good mood, then the ranter just became a buzzkill.
I also realized that complaining gave me a false sense of having done something about the problem. Yet the problem still existed.
So this idea of a complaint-free world spoke to me.
After viewing the video, I visited the website and purchased three bracelets - one for me, one for my Virgo-loaded-soon-to-be-ex and one for my mom (with her Jupiter in Virgo, she's no stranger to complaining, either). I'm not going to lie. The first day was hard. Not only did I switch my bracelet twice but I also gave myself a snap on the wrist for a particular lengthy gripe session during rush hour traffic.
It took me over 4 months to get to 21 consecutive complaint-free days.
In that time, I found that I was able to fill in the absence of complaints with more workable solutions.
The less I complained, the more satisfied I felt. The quality of my life increased exponentially, too.
With each new proactive solution, I no longer felt despair at not being able to overcome what seemed like insurmountable problems. Chipping away at a huge problem empowered me. People with Saturn in Virgo are easily weighted down with fears of failure and can suffer from the condition known as "paralysis by analysis". Through my efforts not to complain, I learned that it's better to count even the smallest steps in the right direction as wins in order to remain motivated. (My mom with her Jupiter in Virgo put this to me in a way that I could understand and accept.)
I learned that lesson two years ago. However...Lately, I have found myself complaining a lot about complainers. By virtue of having my ears and eyes open every day, I am deluged with constant complaints from people about everything from major problems to the infinite minutiae of their lives. Their constant complaints dampen my spirit and make me super angry super fast (blame that on my Sagittarius rising). Honestly, I wish they would all just shut up. Because complaining is more contagious than the common cold.
But...instead of continuing my rant about complainers, I have decided to be proactive and commit my first act of service today: spread the word about this initiative so people can hop off of the complaint track.
It has (almost) worked for me.
Click here to order A Complaint Free World bracelet. They're inexpensive, resemble fancy rubberbands (i.e. unisex!) and come in different colors. Mine is a very versatile black. If you know someone who complains way too much for their own (and your) good, buy one for them, too. Or share this post with them.
Have a happy complaint-free MLK day!
To learn more about how Saturn works in the other signs, click here.
Related Posts:
Does Bitching = Action?
Saturn in Virgo - September 2007 - October 2009
Fear of Failure Is So Yesterday
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